p. 165 | Training the Will by W. T. Bland

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Mar 18, 1902

Training the Will

By W. T. Bland

Principles of Pedagogics for Home and School—No. 4

Training the Will

W. T. BLAND

WHILE it is not my purpose at this time to enter into a psychological study of the will, yet I wish that at least every person who has to do with the training of children might spend both time and effort in the study of this important faculty of the mind. In fact, I do not see how any satisfactory degree of success can be attained in the proper training of children without an understanding of this subject. Without will power we should be mere automatons. Our desires would stop with the wish, if they were even able to reach that limit. We might be imitators, but never could we originate.

The will power of the child begins to manifest itself comparatively early in life, and just that early should the parent be prepared to begin the delicate work of training. The knowledge of this power on the part of the child is brought about first by a result of certain actions. It discovers that by doing certain things, certain results are produced. It takes advantage of this knowledge, and repeats the act upon return of the desire to be gratified. Thus even the babe may soon learn that by crying, it is able to bring about desired results.

The child more fully displays the possession of will power when it is able to consider two or more things, and from them make a definite choice. It is here that the wisdom and judgment of the parent is greatly needed, for the child should not only be permitted and encouraged to make these choices, but he should always be carefully guided in making the best choice. Unless this is faithfully done by the parent, unless the little one is instructed and directed through his early years and until he has reached that age when he is able to choose wisely for himself, there will certainly be trouble.

Children are not always able to make wise decisions, and if left to themselves, are more likely to make mistakes than otherwise. Now, if they are allowed to continue in wrong courses of action, the will soon becomes simply the servant of these wrong or evil desires and tendencies. On the other hand, if this will power of the child is carefully trained, and the child is naturally possessed of a strong, well-balanced mind, this strength of will may prove a great blessing to him, and through him to the world.

Opposed to will training is will breaking. Too many parents, and in the olden days, teachers also, acted upon the principle of first breaking the will of the child, just as some farmers yet break their horses or colts. A strong-willed child was necessarily a dangerous child, therefore the will must be broken, crushed, or destroyed. As a result, corporal punishment of the most severe type was frequently administered. Instead of carefully training and developing this most wonderfully important faculty of the mind, there was a resort to a mere test of physical strength, or brute force. When the parent was persistent in the application of this force, the child was “conquered,” the will was broken, the countenance assumed the “hang-dog” cast, and the usefulness of his after life was destroyed. Of course not all parents adopted these extreme measures, but it has not been so many years since the liberal application of the rod, to break the will, was the rule, the custom, in both home and school.

But there should be obedience; children should not be allowed to do simply as they please. There should be order, system, and proper regulations. Children should not be permitted to have their own wills carried out when they are contrary to the spirit of law and order. This would be ruinous to the child as well as injurious to the community. There should be obedience, but it should be a willing obedience. This is the only kind that God in all His dealings with man desires, and it is the only kind of obedience, whether rendered to God or man, that is of any ultimate good.

Every child is endowed by God with this wonderful will power, and upon the parent and teacher devolves the responsibility of training it. But let it be so trained that the child may early learn to choose wisely his course of action. This is best brought about by bringing to bear upon the child such influences that he of his own accord will make the right choice.

While God desires obedience of man, yet He always leaves man to choose whether or not he will obey. He does not force, nor compel, but His requirements are plain and exact. He sets before man life and death, good and evil, giving him the power of choice. But He makes it very plain what the better choice is, and does not fail to make known the results in case of wrong choosing. Only in this way is man left a free moral agent. This is God’s method of dealing with man. He says, “Whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” And again, “If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land.” Thus for willing obedience a rich reward is offered. God never desires that the will of man be broken; all He asks is that it be submitted to Him, and only this because it is for man’s good. Even when God does the willing for man, it is done within the individual, and not without, as is made plain in Phil. 2:13: “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.” In His own life the Saviour left us an example of submitting the will. In John 4:34 He says, “My meat is to do the will of Him that sent me.” Also in the hour of His agony in the garden of Gethsemane, He prayed: “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”

As God deals with His children, so would He have parents deal with their own children; for do they not stand in the place of God to their children, at least till they reach the age of accountability? His principles are the only correct ones, and He only who is best able to put them into practice can produce the best results. God declares His rewards and punishments in advance; so should every child understand beforehand the results of his determinations and actions. Do not understand from this that children should be “bought,” or paid for everything they do; this is not will training. But let the children early learn to do right because it is right, and that good will come from it; and that just as soon as wrong is done, there will be inevitable consequences. This will naturally lead up to the question of punishments, right and wrong, which may be more properly discussed at another time. But whatever the method of punishment used, let the child understand, if possible, that it is a result of his wrong action brought about by his own free choice.

Parents, to be most successful in will training, should be on confidential terms with their children, ever holding their highest regard and respect. Let the good order and obedience in the home be brought about not by severe methods and stern commands, but by the more gentle means and co-operative measures. The child will then not only acknowledge but respect the authority vested in the parent.

I have seen families where the children seemed to be under most excellent control, but it was where they were held in check by the severity of the parents. They were instantly obedient, not because they desired to be, but because they knew the command would be followed by swift compulsion should there be objection. These wills were perhaps not broken, but they were surely not trained. Let these same children leave home, and once feel that the restraint has been removed, and often they do not know how to control themselves, and perhaps give themselves up to acts of lawlessness. They are like the wild animal that has been caged, which, upon obtaining its freedom, or escaping from bondage, creates consternation wherever it goes. Parents often wonder why their children turn out so badly, when they have been brought up under such strict discipline. May this not be the secret of it? This surely is not proper training. It may be better than no training at all; but it is akin to it, and its after results are to be feared.

To train up a child in the way he should go means much more than we sometimes think. It means to train every faculty of the mind—the desires, passions, and appetites—in a manner that will teach the child to carry on successfully and intelligently this work for himself. To some parents this may seem too great a task, but let them not look upon it in this manner; rather should they feel that it is a pleasure and a great privilege. It may be that in after years these children will rise up and call them blessed.