p. 70 | The Charm of Manner

Seventh-day Adventist Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Feb 8, 1883

The Charm of Manner.

A MAN died a violent death in New York a few years ago, who was known to all the country as a thief, a libertine, a speculative gambler in the most exaggerated degree, and who prided himself on being known as such; yet when he was dead, there was a sudden hush of regret.

One person told how fond a son he had been to his old father. Another, how generous was his care for the poor. This man had a story to tell of his jumping from his carriage to help a fallen horse in the road; that, of the pet birds who followed the gambler from room to room of his house, perching on his shoulder, eating from his lips.

Even good men were so dazzled by the sunny generosity, the warm sympathy, and genial good comradeship of the man, that they were almost blind, or at least were silent, as to his crimes, until the secular press boldly denounced this false charity, showed its probable effect upon the boys who were just entering life, and labeled the dead man as only a successful, open-handed swindler.

Now, the point is, if geniality and generosity are such good qualities as to lend a gloss to a debased and vicious character, why do not good people use them oftener to adorn their real virtues?

Nothing is so rare in the world as that unselfish, cordial good fellowship; that quick throwing of ourselves into the interests and feeling of others, which gave to this unprincipled man his magnetism and influence. Nothing is so attractive or powerful with every rank or class. Not beauty, or money, or intellect has its irresistible charm. Simply because the most interesting thing to every man is his own self, and the more concern you show in that, the greater will be your influence with him.

Besides this, it is the right feeling to cultivate towards others, and the right manner to show. Many high-principled people do their duty all through life, but with as hard and callous a temper and face as if they were paying a debt which they begrudged every penny.

They render their full dues perhaps to God and to Cæsar, but in rusty black metal, instead of shining, jingling coin. They march alone along the pathway of life wrapped in their own thoughts and purposes when they ought to be singing in good company.

Many girls who lack beauty of face, many dull boys, will read this, who are tempted to envy the beauty or cleverness of their companions, but who do not realize that they have within their own reach a real Aladdin's lamp—a sincere, cordial manner, an unselfish interest in others—which will not only command friends for them, but will brighten their own inner lives as no other gift can brighten them.

—Youth's Companion.