Communication from Bro. Rhodes.
By S. W. Rhodes
DEAR FRIENDS IN CHRIST: After a long silence, I am permitted to speak once more to you through the Review. About seven years since, I stated that I had played the prodigal, so far as wandering from home and coming to myself. Since my capture by the enemy I have been in a state of mind between hope and despair, poor, miserable, wretched, blind and naked. You may get something of an idea of my suffering and misery from the case of a Northern soldier taken prisoner in the late rebellion, and confined in a Southern prison, starving, dying, without any prospect of deliverance; or from that of the man who fell among thieves, and was left, stripped, wounded, bleeding and dying. The following were some of my reflections: I have merited these afflictions. I am the author of my grief and misery. I disobeyed my Father's commandments. I did not give heed to good counsel and kind reproofs. In short, a proud heart deceived me, and brought me to this fearful condition, into the dust of death. I did not cast one reflection upon my brethren, as being the cause of my grief. Bro. and Sr. White had held me up as long as they could consistently, and longer than I could reasonably have asked. They had been faithful to warn me of my danger of falling into trouble by my hasty, unyielding, and self-justifying spirit. May God bless them for their faithfulness to me, and for their good counsel and advice which I never dare to throw away. While in this state of mind, the feelings of my heart were such as David expresses in the following language: How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? For ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? Consider and hear me, O Lord, my God: lighten mine eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon mine affliction and my pain, and forgive all my sin. O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath; neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin. For mine iniquities are gone over my head; as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me. My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness. I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long, for my loins are filled with a loathsome disease, and there is no soundness in my flesh.” My hope gone, my sins pressing me down, the Devil tempting me at times to take a course that would lead me to disgrace my friends and the cause that I had loved more than twenty years, and still loved, were all that I could well grapple with and retain my reason. The thought that I must be forever separated from a people that I still loved, has at times been almost unendurable, and so worn upon my mind and body, that I find myself physically and mentally weak as a short Samson. I would not pass through such deep waters again for worlds like this. How true the word that says, The ways of the transgressor is hard. I am a chastened, and, I trust, a subdued child. About fourteen months since, at the N. Y. State Conference, I asked one in whose religious experience and Christian character I have had unwavering confidence, if she thought my salvation possible. The reply was, Yes! From that time, being encouraged to hope, not only from this testimony, but from the comforting words of brethren, and especially our dear Bro. C. O. Taylor, I began to amend, and to labor more earnestly to hope in God and gain victories over my besetments. At a meeting attended by Bro. and Sr. White and Bro. Andrews, two months since, at Roosevelt, I received unexpectedly great strength from the Lord through the testimonies of those dear servants of God. Oh! how sorry I am that I ever have grieved Jesus by grieving such choice spirits and children of the Most High. To know by satisfactory evidence that my salvation was possible, and probable (if faithful), caused me to rejoice with exceeding joy. Peace like a river has followed me daily since that ever-memorable meeting. Comparing my past few years of sorrow with my present hope, I can say that I am again a happy man. I penitently acknowledge before my Heavenly Father, his dear Son, good angels, and the saints, my past wrongs, and humbly ask their forgiveness. I will, by the help of the Lord, no more hurt the oil and the wine, nor wound or grieve my dear brethren, by unwise words or dealings in their midst. I shall ever remember with grateful feelings those who have pitied, helped and prayed for me in my distress. I trust the lesson I have learned by what I have suffered, will not be forgotten by me while life shall last, a lesson of obedience and submission to God and his church. I now see and realize as never before the long-suffering, patience, mercy and love of God. O Lord, grant me and thy people the same love toward erring, sinful man. Amen. Yours truly,
S. W. RHODES. Health Institute, Nov., 1867. P. S. If I have taken aught from any man, let me know at Battle Creek, Mich., and I will try to imitate Zaccheus, Luke xix, 8, in answering you.