p. 13 | That Boy of Yours by Mary A. Abbott

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Washington, D. C. · Oct 27, 1904

That Boy of Yours

By Mary A. Abbott

Do you remember when he was but a tiny dot, almost hidden by flannels and laces, that as you pressed him still closer, you thought of the upright, lovable boy he would make—yes, of the honorable, God-fearing man? But it is of the “upright, lovable boy” I want to speak now. You find he is gradually growing away from you, now that school, playmates, and other associates come in to interest him in many ways, where formerly you were all in all to him. It grieves you, but it would never do to keep your boy to yourself, even if you could, neither will it do to assume no responsibility as regards the choice of his companions.

You know what an imitator your boy is. How from babyhood he has tried to do what his father or some older person did. Therefore his boy companions will influence him greatly. You must help him to select these companions; and you can not do this unless you take an interest in his outdoor life. Because a bad boy knows so well in what a “good time” consists, he is likely to be chosen by your boy as a companion. His games may be harmless, even beneficial, but gradually his influence will be felt, and his language and his sentiments will have an ill effect upon your boy. Bad habits are easily acquired; good ones are formed by patient cultivation.

The choice of a companion several years his senior by your boy is often a source of danger, and usually undesirable. He listens to stories of “manly” actions, learns of smoking, swearing, and other rough, if not wrong, ways. There are many excuses: “It’s only for fun,” “All the boys do,” “The boys will laugh at me if I don’t.” O, how quickly a boy grows away from you! What can a mother do?

Listen! Help him to develop a strong moral character by teaching him that it is a test of strength to do what is right rather than yield to what is wrong; that it is a coward who can not say “No” when it should be said. Let him see that you are interested in all that he is interested in. Let him find you enjoy his descriptions of the victory of his particular “club,” and are pleased with the cleverness or quaintness of his pets. Let him feel that you share his joys and sorrows, whether small or great. If you have his confidence, then your influence will be felt every hour of the day. If he knows that he has a sympathetic listener and companion, as well as adviser, in you, you need not fear that his boy companions will have greater power over him than you.

Cultivate in him a personal interest in his home. Consult him in the arrangement and furnishing of his room. Why should not his bedroom be as cheery and attractive as his sister’s? Have lots of pictures, all sorts of animals, of sports, of people, and try to educate his taste for the best of each kind without his feeling that you belittle his choice. Then let him decorate his “den” with his curiosities, if he wants to. You can stand a little dust, if it helps you keep your boy. Use his room as an agent in teaching order. He will like to have it snug and “ship-shape.”

Teach your boy to enjoy his home by making him feel free to invite his friends to his room. Let him share his pleasure with his boy friends. He will want them to be nice if he is going to bring them into his home, his own room. Teach him to choose for his friends those who are worthy to enter the “charmed circle” of home. O, you mothers, what a lot you have to teach!—Mary A. Abbott, in The Housekeeper.