p. 20 | Two Questions of Form by MRS. I. H. E.

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Nov 25, 1915

Two Questions of Form

By MRS. I. H. E.

What Shall We Say?

The following query from a puzzled man came recently to the desk of the editor:—

“Will you be kind enough to tell our sisters, through the Home department, how to speak of their husbands? I read in a letter from Mrs. Blank recently that ‘Brother Blank’ (her husband, presumably) was going to do thus and so. Some preachers’ wives speak of their husbands as ‘Elder’ or ‘Pastor’—and some ‘professoresses’ say ‘Professor.’ Many physicians’ wives always say ‘the doctor.’ Then, too, there are women who speak of their husbands by the initials of their names; as, ‘C. F.,’ ‘W. W.,’ etc. The men seem to have some perplexity over this matter, as well as the women. A gentleman of my acquaintance always speaks of his wife as ‘Sister.’ A long time ago Abraham got into trouble by doing that, but he probably had a better excuse than this brother.

“How is it, anyway? Perhaps you will tell all the good wives how to refer to his majesty the husband.”

The foregoing was submitted to an authority on matters of social form, Eleanor H. Phillips, A. B. This is her reply:—

“When a woman is speaking of her husband to intimate friends, either hers or his, she uses his Christian name.

“When she is speaking to acquaintances and strangers, she uses the form Mr. Blank or my husband.”

“When a woman wishes to introduce her husband formally to a lady, she may say,—

“Mrs. A, may I present my husband to you?”

Under no circumstances does she refer to his title, as Judge, or Doctor, or Professor.

A gentleman (Mr. A) introducing his wife does not say, “My wife, Mrs. A.” If presenting a gentleman, he will say, “Mr. B, may I present you to my wife?”

In making introductions, it should always be borne in mind that “unless a clergyman claims the use of the title Doctor, he is spoken to and of as Mr.”

How Shall I Sign My Name?

Many married women are puzzled to know the correct way to sign social correspondence and business letters. The laws of good form decree that a married woman shall sign business letters thus:—

Yours truly, Allison A. Canby (Mrs. J. H. Canby).

Friendly correspondence and social notes are signed as follows:—

Very sincerely yours, Allison Ann Canby. (Mrs. John H. Canby.)

In this case, the explanatory words, in parentheses, are necessary only when the person to whom one is writing does not know one’s married name.

MRS. I. H. E.