p. 510 | MANIA FOR DIVORCES by Mary Alice Hare Loper

Pacific Press Publishing Association · Mountain View, California · Aug 17, 1915

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 42, No. 32.

MANIA FOR DIVORCES

By Mary Alice Hare Loper

Inconsiderate Marriages — How Men and Women Drift Apart — Selfishness and Self-Control

By MARY ALICE HARE LOPER, M. S.

When Mrs. Methuselah took upon herself the sacred vows of marriage, it was with no thought of a soon-coming separation secured through some divorce bureau in the primitive city of Enoch. That first city of which we have any record in Sacred Writ did not have any such business; and we are sure that Mrs. Methuselah did not part from her husband until death separated them, although sharing with him life's sunshine and shadows for the lengthened period of perhaps eight hundred years.

If some of the much-married persons of these latter days thought they would “have to be tied” to one individual for that length of time, they might hesitate more than they do before entering into the compact. To be sure, the marriage vows still include, “till death do us part”; but the world has become so corrupt that if death delays the parting, the vows are easily broken, and recourse to separation follows.

GOD UNITED THEM

Adam and Eve were united in marriage by God Himself, but He showed no partiality in so uniting them. He included in His great scheme for human happiness the privilege of uniting every couple entering the marriage relation through all the ages to come, with no provision made for divorce. After man fell, it was evident that mistakes would be made by every human being; but the great Creator did not lessen the sacredness or the lifelong permanency of the marriage vows.

The twentieth century, after nearly six thousand years of retrogression, sees a mighty change in the world's love affairs. There seem to be many hate affairs, and very many affairs of mere toleration. Men and women have become so fickle-minded that they tire of each other just as children do, and manifest little more common sense in showing it.

There are many women to-day who would not appreciate a husband as faultless as good angelic Enoch, who was taken to heaven because he “walked with God.” There are men who would not properly prize such enduring love as Mrs. Methuselah doubtless possessed—it would last too long. They would want a change, you know. “Eight hundred years of the same companionship—how did either of them ever stand it!”

“WHAT GOD HATH JOINED”

Through the twilight of time steals this holy whisper, which has echoed down through the ages: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” These solemn words are accepted as part of many a wedding ceremony to-day in which God really has no part, not having been consulted by those entering this most sacred relationship, although it is freighted with the greatest responsibility which men and women are capable of assuming. Therefore we need not wonder that many soon tire of the partnership; that ere long, in counting up the debits and credits at the close of each day, love brings no dividends, while amid the shadows there is found no comfort in the sweet assurance, “At evening time it shall be light.”

HOW THEY DRIFT APART

Courtship and marriage have become much like a swell in music, the climax of love being reached at the marriage altar, when it begins to wane, and finally it is lost in the discordant notes that gradually creep into the music of everyday life.

John used to tell Mary frankly that he loved her, and Mary believed him. Mary used to sing love songs to John, and John believed she meant every word for him. John used to take Mary for a ride occasionally, and Mary enjoyed it, believing it to be an additional evidence of John's fidelity. Mary used to take pains to please John in the little things of life, and John believed implicitly in her sincerity. But, alas, all this is changed now! The cares of life have come in, John is not perfect, and Mary really has faults and failings. John does not talk love any more, and Mary does not sing any more love songs. As for taking pleasure rides, John is entirely too busy for recreation; and Mary has dropped many of the little courtesies that used to make John happy. The days of courtship are ended, the days of love are sadly on the wane. How little it takes to bring in discord now! What trivial things cause harsh words and impatient actions! The sun of happiness has almost set, while shadows of disappointment gather over the canopy of life. It is high time for John and Mary to call a halt, and take their bearings; for surely they have wandered far from the path of mutual joy. Amid the hurry and bustle of this strenuous age, how easy for two thus to drift entirely apart, for such slight causes as once they would not even have noticed!

BETTER BEFORE MARRIAGE THAN AFTER

It is far better to part before marriage than afterward. It has not been many years—we can well remember the time—when it was considered a disgrace to become divorced. It was then very safe to inquire after the health and prosperity of members of a family after long years of separation. But what a change! “My wife and I do not live together any more,” or, “My husband and I are separated,” are such familiar facts now! It surely would have shocked a whole community in those days, if their cherished weekly newspaper had appeared with this series of headings: “Births, Marriages, Deaths, and Divorces.” But people now are so accustomed to this routine of mere “news,” that they are not shocked, even though it appears daily.

The following newspaper clipping shows the drift of the times as foretold in 2 Tim. 3: 1-13:

“2,000,000 DIVORCES IN LAST 33 YEARS

“San Francisco, December 5.—Two million divorces have been granted in the United States in the last fifty-three years, according to Dr. Francis Miner Moody, executive secretary of an international congress on marriage and divorce, which is to meet in convention in 1915, who spoke to-day before the California Commission on Marriage and Divorce.

“There are only 18,000,000 married women in this country who could be divorced,” said Dr. Moody. “Yet 110,000 divorces have been granted this year, a greater number than ever before. More than 1,400,000 children have been needlessly deprived of one or both parents by the divorce court. The result has been an increase in the attendance of reform schools, orphanages, or similar institutions at the rate of 33 to 100 per cent.”

Yes, this is the condition of affairs to-day; but little consideration

is given to it. The divorce mania grows worse and worse; and the number of thoughtless and improper marriages, followed by infidelity to the marriage vows, is frightfully on the increase.

MARRIAGE CEREMONY WORKS NO MIRACLES

The marriage ceremony does not change one's nature, any more than does joining the church. People after marriage are usually just what they were when the ceremony was performed. If men and women would only take note of displeasing characteristics before marriage as they do after, they would make fewer unpleasant discoveries later, and would expect less in the way of human perfection. They would exercise more good judgment in the choice of a life companion; and as a result, fewer women would “go home to mother,” and fewer men would seek enjoyment elsewhere than at home.

“Ask, and it shall be given you,” means that when one really desires divine guidance, he may have it. And no one can afford to take the marriage relation without the assurance of the approval of Heaven. No one can afford to become a life companion who is not willing to sacrifice selfishness for the sake of mutual happiness.

SELFISHNESS AND SELF-CONTROL

Divine love “shall cover the multitude of sins.” Genuine love in the heart will seek to suppress dissensions, repair injuries, overlook mistakes, and pour oil on the rusting wheels of domestic machinery. Selfishness causes one to lose his self-control, and to treat harshly those who are bound by the closest earthly ties. “The little foxes” are the ones that “spoil the vines.” The sand grains of cold criticism often cause the wheels of domestic machinery to grate and jar, and finally to stop altogether.

Leave selfishness entirely out of the home, and happiness will reign supreme. Such a home is truly “a little heaven on earth to go to heaven in,”—just what every home should be.