Perils Beset Them—Their Confidence Must Be Held How May This Be Done? How May Lost Confidence Be Restored?
By EULALIA S. RICHARDS, M. D.
Our boys and girls must be guarded from the perils that surround them. This every thoughtful parent knows, though hundreds are either thoughtless or blind to the conditions which prevail in the social world to-day.
The Crime Epidemic
We are living in a remarkable age, an age characterized by wonderful advancement in science and learning. But unfortunately the present age is also marked by an astonishing increase in immorality. A veritable epidemic of crime is sweeping over our land, and the white slave traffic flourishes. Immoral literature and objectionable pictures are doubtless important factors in bringing about this deplorable state of degeneracy.
Shall We Try Keeping Them Out of the World?
No matter how pure the home atmosphere may be, as soon as our boys and girls go out from our own firesides, they are certain to come in contact with evil in its most enticing forms. When our young folks go forth to meet the world, how our mother hearts do tremble! How gladly would we make any sacrifice if only we might guard them from encountering sin and all its allurements! But this is impossible. So long as our youth are in the world and do their share of the world’s work, they will be surrounded by evil. Then let us not pray that they may be taken out of the world, but that they may be kept from the wrong that is in the world.
It is possible for parents so to rear their sons and daughters that as they join the great army of the world’s workers they may be protected by an impenetrable armor—surrounded by a veritable bulwark of defense. This armor is a strong Christian character coupled with a correct knowledge of the difficulties that must be met and conquered. This is a case in which to be forewarned is to be forearmed.
Innocence and Ignorance
The words “innocence” and “ignorance” are by no means synonymous. We would that this fact might sink deeply into the heart of every parent. An innocent lad from a Christian home may through ignorance plunge headlong into evil on his first contact with the world, and thereby lose his innocence. Correct knowledge is the chief safeguard of purity and virtue.
The task of fortifying our boys and girls should be undertaken in their earliest childhood, and should be ever in our thoughts. We shall be successful in our undertaking only as we maintain the confidence of our children inviolate. What a blessed thing that each parent has the confidence of his child at the beginning! We need not strive to win the child’s confidence. It is already ours, a precious gift, which we should guard most sacredly. We may keep this confidence unbroken by always speaking truthfully to the child. We may not always speak the whole truth to a young child, but we must never under any circumstances speak aught that is not truth.
Would You Answer Truthfully?
“But,” asks an anxious mother, “would you have us answer truthfully the many perplexing questions that baby lips ask us?”—Certainly. Why not? The story of the origin of life, if clothed in chaste language, is one of the most beautiful stories that may be told a child.
Our children must sooner or later learn the facts concerning human life and social relationships. It lies with us to decide whether we will impart this knowledge in chaste words, or whether we will leave our little ones to gain the information from impure sources and in words replete with unclean suggestions.
The burden of training the children in purity and virtue should be shared by the parents; but naturally the mother has, during the earlier years, an opportunity for more intimate association with the children than has the father. Happy the mother who maintains her child’s confidence from its infant days. As the child grows older, there will be no constraint between himself and his mother. Has she not always answered his childish questions lovingly, sympathetically, understandingly? More mature problems may now be discussed by mother and son or daughter, and with no sense of embarrassment. Wisely chosen books may also be called to the mother’s aid, books which impart needful knowledge in pure language that the boy or girl can fully understand.
If Only Begun Early Enough
If only the task of training the children in virtue is begun early enough and is faithfully performed in all sincerity and truth, there is no insurmountable obstacle.
But many difficulties arise to dishearten the mother who has through ignorance or carelessness lost her child’s confidence. A child soon loses confidence in a parent who gives evasive or untrue answers to his questions, and who manifests but little interest or sympathy in his work and play, his reading and associations.
“Have Lost My Daughter”
Not long ago, an anxious mother breathed out the sorrow that had long been hidden within her heart. “My daughter no longer confides in me. She keeps her affairs to herself, or discusses them with her intimate girl friend, but never with me. She never seeks my advice or pays any heed to my suggestions. I seem to have lost my daughter. And she was so affectionate and confiding as a little child.”
Ah! that is it. All little children, almost without exception, are affectionate and confiding. It is natural for them to be so. But in such sad cases as the foregoing, there usually comes a time when the mother’s cheek flushes, and she feels that she can not summon the courage to answer her child’s questions. She thrusts the child away from her, or gives an untruthful answer to a question which the child has every reason to expect will be answered sincerely and truthfully. It is thus the rift begins and widens.
What Shall We Do?
What shall we parents do—we who have drifted away from our children and now tremble at their peril?
First of all, we must study the situation earnestly, not excusing our past neglect or failures. Then by the help of Him with whom all things are possible, we must begin again. We must get close to our children. We must convince them of our loving and sympathetic interest in all that concerns them.
It may be necessary for us to confess humbly our failures and our neglects. Such a confession on the part of a parent often touches the heart of a wandering child. It may require patient waiting, faithful praying, and earnest working to win back a child who has drifted from his parents, for a child is far easier lost than found. But surely we must succeed if we thus earnestly work and patiently wait.
And what a reward when a beloved child comes home to find in his parents the wisest counsel, the deepest sympathy, the truest interest, and the warmest love!
