p. 10 | MAKE HOME ATTRACTIVE by M. C. DuBois

Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · Jul 17, 1901

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 27, No. 29.

MAKE HOME ATTRACTIVE.

By M. C. DuBois

Poets have sung of “home, sweet home,” since the world began; but the theme remains exhaustless, and will while time lasts. Around every home, no matter how humble, cluster deep and lasting interests.

There are many dwelling-places, but alas, how few homes; homes where heaven is represented; homes where love, pure and true, makes the atmosphere fragrant with its sweet perfume; homes where Christ is an abiding guest; homes where discord and jangle are never heard. Such homes are a blessing in the world; and the angels love to linger there to carry glad tidings therefrom.

Fretting is one of the banes of many homes. Not alone is the mother prone to this evil, but also the father. From the parents the children catch the evil habit, and the disease soon becomes chronic in the family. In some homes, scarce a pleasant word is heard from morn until eve, unless, perchance, company is present, and even then this habit often prevails. I have been in homes where the wife dealt out the short-comings of husband and children, and the husband, in turn, was not guiltless in this direction by any means. How unpleasant one feels when in such a home, and how glad to get away, tho that home may contain every comfort money can buy. If the spirit of love reigns not, the true home spirit is lacking.

It is the duty of parents after bringing children into existence, to make home as refining and attractive as their means will allow. This can be done without great outlays of money, but it does take time, patience, and energy to make a happy, attractive home.

The first step in this direction is the presence of Christ as an abiding inmate.

I will not attempt to give set rules by which parents shall govern their children, as child-training is an ingenious work, and different dispositions require different treatment. This much, however, I do say, Let truth and firmness be your motto. Keep your word with your child. Never make a promise to your child carelessly or unthinkingly. Seeds of falsehood are often sown in the heart of the child by parents themselves, thru making false promises. The child sees that papa and mama did not keep their word with him, and he soon loses confidence in their promises.

One great factor in making a happy home is that the parents agree and are united in training their family, and that they treat each other with respect and politeness. If mother is careful to treat father with due respect, and father in turn pays homage to mother as queen of the home, think you not the children will catch the same spirit? Children are great imitators. Often example with them is more potent than precept.

Too many ignore the little courtesies of home life which go far toward making home refining. The child who grows up in a neat, cheerful home, over which a spirit of love hovers, tho it be only a log cabin or sod house, will make a better man or woman, and have more correct views of life, than one who goes out from a cold, unloving home.

Music helps in making home attractive. Music refines, and soothes many of the irritabilities of life. If there is one member of the family with any musical talent at all, and you can possibly afford a musical instrument, have one by all means. Let parents and children mingle their voices in song. Music is a link to bind hearts together. Few there are who can not feel its refining power.

Pictures on the wall have a refining influence on the minds of children. They need not be the costly oil painting, in gilded frame, but a pure picture drawn from nature, or some such scene, will furnish study for a child who loves the beautiful.

Good books, papers, and magazines help in making home attractive, tho great caution is needed to select the best of reading matter. Great care must be exercised in selecting such as will be instructive, and not give false ideas of life. The Bible, first of all, should be carefully and earnestly studied, and a love for its teachings early impressed on the tender heart of your child.

Flowers make home refining and pleasant; cultivate them out-doors and in; call the attention of the little ones to their wonderful beauty. Tell them of Him who tinted the violet and rose; tell them the same kind Father who holds the worlds in His hand cares for the tiniest flower and loves also the children. Cultivate love in the hearts of your children for the works of God. Tell them of Him who said, “Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not.”

Seek to make your home the brightest spot in all the world to your family. Teach them to be helpful, and to render willing service at your request, to help you in the home work. If you wish to inspire confidence in your children, begin in their infancy. Never, by word or act, do aught to cause them to lose confidence in you. Think it not beneath you to study the happiness of your children. Let them see that it gives you pleasure to grant their requests. I would not, however, have you understand that I think it right or best to grant every wish of the child, far from it. A wise parent will withhold many things from his children, but never refuse a reasonable request without good reason. Never be so engrossed in business or pleasure that you have no time for a pleasant word or a smile.

There can not be affectionate confidence where there is no sympathy. Do not let a feeling of reserve come between you and your child. Take time to express an interest in his joys or sorrows; for the sorrows of children are as real to them as the sorrows of grown people are to them.

There are many appointments of the home which have a refining influence, but I can only mention a few more. The arrangement of the table and the kind of food we place before our children helps greatly in making a happy home. The table should always be neatly laid; tho the cloth be coarse, let it be clean, and the dishes arranged in a pleasing manner. We can not all afford choice silver, dainty china, costly glass, but such as we do have, can be bright and shining.

Plain food, properly cooked and tastefully arranged upon the board, adds much to the attractions of home. Children fed upon plain food with plenty of fresh fruit are healthier, hence happier, than those who are kept on rich pastry, meats, and highly seasoned foods. Plain food with plenty of fresh air, exercise, and sunshine, make laughing, happy children.

I might mention the appointments of the child's sleeping room, which ought to be bright, airy, and tastefully arranged, with a picture or two on the wall, tho they may be only prints from some magazine. Many of these are very beautiful, and convey sweet and tender lessons, which will not be lost upon your child. Let the windows be clean, with clean curtains, tho they may be only plain muslin or calico.

Mothers, do not darken the windows of your best room, and shut yourself and family in the little kitchen, seven days in the week; loop back the window curtains, let in the sunshine, call in the children, part of the time at least, and be cheerful and happy.

Hold the reins firmly, tho in love, and I think as your children leave the home circle to take their places in life's work, they will be better men and women for all the pains taken, and you will find a rich reward in the end.

Fathers, do your part in making home attractive. Think not a few dollars lost spent in beautifying home. Help and encourage your wife by a cheerful, appreciative word of praise, in her efforts to make home bright and pleasant for yourself and children. Lend a helping-hand whenever you can. You can help in preparing a place for plenty of flowers. Teach your boys to be helpful to mother by setting the daily example of doing helpful things for her comfort.

Mothers, I know to carry out the plans I've suggested, requires hard work and self-denial on your part. Your furniture will get marred, your carpets will wear out, and often you will feel discouraged and think your life a failure, just preparing food for your family, washing dirty little hands and faces, mending little tattered garments, mittens, socks, and aprons; but, O mothers, weary not; look beyond the present hour. Soon your boys and girls will be out in the world, making their mark for good or evil. Give yourself to the work, looking to God for help and wisdom to direct the feet of your child in paths of truth and virtue. You will not be sorry by and by that you have striven in the fear of God to plant right principles in the hearts of your children. These are perilous times for all, and especially so for young men and boys.

The gilded saloon, with strains of sweet music, beautiful pictures, and sweet flowers, stands open to tempt our boys. Then, too, they hear the obscene story fall from the lips of well-dressed beings called men; they hear the name of God profaned, and see professed Christians smoking the vile tobacco.

And are there no snares for our daughters?—Yes, we know we have to guard them well from evils too numerous to detail. How often are we made to shudder as we hear of the fate of some poor girl.

Parents, with these facts before us, do we not need to make our homes so bright and cheerful that our children will not care to spend their evenings away from home? Weary not in your work, but look to God for help. By and by your work will be finished. Perhaps some who read these lines may have done all they could for their children, and yet that dear son or daughter may be treading the downward road. To such I say, Despair not. A mother's prayers can not be lost. Leave that wayward child with God. If you have done your part, God will surely do His. Pray on, and trust Him still.

Grand Ledge, Mich. MRS. M. C. DuBois.