p. 10 | ETIQUET FOR CHILDREN by Mrs. J. M. Colby

Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · Apr 30, 1896

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 22, No. 18.

ETIQUET FOR CHILDREN.

By Mrs. J. M. Colby

BY MRS. J. M. COLBY.

It seems to me that too many mothers neglect this important element in the training of their children. In fact, do young folks at any time have the manners that distinguished those of two generations ago? There has been a sad decadence of manners generally within the last forty years, and, unfortunately, children have been affected by it more visibly than others. Gone is the old-time courtesy which children showed to their elders, especially to the aged. I remember when boys were taught to raise their hats to teachers and the girls to courtesy. In reply to all questions it was the rule rather than the exception to answer, “Yes, sir,” or “No, sir,” to a gentleman, and “Yes, ma’am,” and “No, ma’am,” to a lady. The change is to be regretted.

And yet we can not blame the children. The fault lies with their parents, principally their mothers. We can not expect all little children, indeed, to be Little Lord Fauntleroys or Eva St. Clairs, but they can be taught to be thoughtful of others, unselfish, respectful, and courteous. Especially should they know how to behave politely in the dining-room. If there is one thing more than another that shows our bringing up, to use a common expression, it is our manners at table and the way we eat. Yet how often is one’s whole meal made unpleasant by some unruly or misbehaved child. Mothers can not be oblivious to the misdemeanors of their children in this respect. Possibly, however, they may not realize that the responsibility of their behavior or misbehavior rests upon them; but it is as necessary to teach them good manners as that they must not eat too much.

In the first place, are not children petted too much and allowed too many privileges in these days? In many homes the children are the real managers. They monopolize the conversation, and continually interrupt older ones while talking. This is all wrong. Such a mode, or, rather, lack of training, fosters their selfishness and vanity, and renders them real nuisances of fault-finding and discourtesy.

Only the other day I was greatly shocked while visiting at a friend’s house by the ill manners of her little boy, who was not quite ten years old. Before we were all fairly seated at the table, he leaned forward upon the table, knife and fork in hand, and exclaimed, “I want some of the plum pudding, but I won’t have any cake.” “You must wait, Carl,” said the father. Afterwards he was helped three times to the plum pudding, so several of the older ones had a much smaller amount in consequence. I imagined that his mother might feel ashamed of his want of breeding, but the little fellow afterwards remarked to me confidentially, “Mama always says that I may have the lion’s share of anything.” A faultless toilet, quietness of demeanor, and a willingness to wait for others, the use of the fork instead of the knife, the absence of faultfinding, the proper use of the napkin, eating and drinking without making any uncouth noise, these are all to be equally observed as a part of table etiquet, and the youngest boy or girl can easily practise them. Nor should they forget the “please” and “thank you,” that have so much to do toward making children attractive.—The Housekeeper.