CHURCH RULES FOR THE LADIES.
[The following rules, we presume, were framed to correspond as nearly as possible to the real facts in the case, as learned from actual observation in popular churches.
—Ed. Review.] Dress hard all morning, such is fate;
Then enter church some minutes late: All eyes will then be turned on you,
And will observe your bonnet new. Let modesty adorn your face,
And take your seat with faultless grace. Let all your thoughts be fixed on high,
And rearrange your cardinal tie. Think how religion’s prone to bless,
And criticise your neighbor’s dress. Let all your heart be filled with praise,
And notice Mrs. Maggie’s lace. Put from your mind all thoughts of sin,
And readjust your diamond pin. Think of how good religion proves,
And then smooth out your buttoned gloves. Catch well the precepts as they fall,
And smooth the wrinkles in your shawl. Think of the sinner’s fearful fate,
And notice if your bonnet’s straight. Pray for the influence divine:
That lady’s basque—mark the design. Let tender peace possess your mind,
And criticise that hat behind. Reflect on Christian graces dear,
And fix those curls behind your ear. Let your heart warm with silent prayer,
And view that horrid green dress there. Reflect upon the wicked’s ways:
See if your gold chain’s out of place. Think of the peace the good shall find,
And wonder who are sitting behind.