p. 517 | ST. PAUL AND MANNERS by Bessie Chandler

International Tract and Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Aug 25, 1887

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 13, No. 33.

ST. PAUL AND MANNERS.

By Bessie Chandler

I SAW not long ago a peculiar seal-ring, one that a mother had had made as a birthday present for her son, who was away at school. It was a blood stone, carved with the device of two mailed hands, one reaching to the other a cup, and around this an inscription, which was Greek to me.

"What does it mean?" I asked, after a little study. "Is it the 'cup of water in the name of a disciple?'"

The mother laughed. "Not exactly," she said. "But it is a cup of water—the cup that Sir Philip Sidney gave to the dying soldier on the battle-field. You remember the legend. The motto you will find in the twelfth chapter of Romans, tenth verse—'In honor preferring one another.' I had it engraved in original Greek, so that everyone couldn't read it, for this is between my boy and me. St. Paul has always been my teacher of good manners, and I thought this ring would please Tom, and at the same time remind him of some of the things that I cannot say to him now."

"Will you tell me what you mean about St. Paul and good manners?" I asked.

She smiled a little and said, "Why, I wanted above all things, as I suppose every mother does, that my boys should be well-bred, courteous, polite—in a word, gentlemen. But I soon found out that the continual teaching them to do, or not to do, each particular act was never going to make them what I wanted. It must be deeper than that; and after a while I came back and rested on the Bible, and especially on St. Paul. Did you ever read this twelfth chapter of Romans with reference to manners? No guide to etiquette, or rules for deportment, could do as much for one as that. My boys and I finally took the one broad rule: 'Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another.' That, in its broadest sense, includes everything. The talking to disagreeable people, the being cordial and hospitable, the trying to entertain others, and give them pleasure with any talent we have, are all, I think, being kindly affectioned. And 'in honor preferring one another' may mean everything, from the offering a chair to the giving up of life for another."

"I think I learned this," she went on, "once when it was my lot to live for a time in a little Western village, with what you would call very common people. Uncultivated they certainly all were, but I saw there what a perfect substitute true Christianity is for good manners, as society calls them. There were some people there who never offended. Quaint and amusing they might be in their ways and expressions, but never rude, never curious or prying or conceited. They were always considerate and thoughtful, always full of some kind-hearted plan for other people's pleasure. They were kindly affectionate, and preferred one another. I remembered all this when I came to the training of my own boys, and so far St. Paul has been my authority on manners. I do not say that through him I can teach my boys to use the right fork for oysters, or to make a faultless bow, but I do say that I can teach them to be so manly, so gentle, so thoughtful of others, and unassuming about themselves, that, even if they blundered in every small social matter, they would still be undeniably gentlemen. The small matters of etiquette are mostly mechanical; they can be easily learned outside, even if they are not in our own home; but it is with the great underlying principle, 'in honor preferring one another,' that the true training must begin."