p. 23 | The Only Difference

International Tract and Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Jan 8, 1885

The Only Difference.

Not long ago a Scottish clergyman reproved a member of his flock for being drunk. “Gin, it please ye,” said Jemmy, “I dinna drink as meikle as yoursel’.” “Why, how is that?” said the minister. “Weel, dinna ye aye tak’ a glass of whisky and water after dinner?” “Why, yes, Jemmy, sure I take a glass of whisky after dinner to aid digestion.” “An’ dinna ye tak’ a glass o’ toddy every nicht when ye are gangin’ to bed?” “Yes, to be sure, I just take a little toddy every night to help me to sleep.” “Weel,” continued Jemmy, “that’s just fourteen glasses a week, and about sixty every month. I only get paid once a month, and then if I’d tak’ sixty glasses it wud mak’ me dead drunk for a week. Now, ye see, the only difference is that ye time it better than I do.”