p. 308 | Spoiling Children by H. F. Phelps

International Tract and Missionary Society · Oakland, California · May 27, 1889

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 15, No. 20.

Spoiling Children

By H. F. Phelps

GOD'S OBJECT LESSONS. NO. 6.

SPOILING CHILDREN.

WE often read essays and listen to lectures on "How to Bring Up Children," but we do not hear of any definite plan laid down for spoiling them. I might quote that oft-repeated saying of the wise man, "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." But how to do this is quite another thing. I might refer to good old Abraham, of whom the testimony was borne, "I know Abraham, that he will command his household after him." And I might exhort to follow his example; but to follow that example successfully is a good deal more. I might refer to Timothy, in whose veins ran the blood of a faithful mother and grandmother. And I might exhort mothers to do their duty as did those godly women of old. But to find those who do this work, in these days of degeneracy, and backsliding, and selfishness, and want of natural affection on the part of parents as well as children, is a task not so easy to perform. Of course there are a few here and there.

I might write and talk as though I knew just how to train up children (I confess I once thought I did), but I see there are more children spoiled than otherwise, and I begin to think it is easier to spoil a child than to train one properly. Of course there are many ways in which to spoil a child. The way is broad, the means are legion. I am quite sure that none of them are patented, but they are all easy; yes, just as easy as floating down stream. A parent can just lay down the oars, let the child have his own way (for "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child," and "a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame"), and the spoiling will be sure to come.

To bring up a child properly requires more wisdom than most people possess. It is not all wisdom either that is needed; for grace, too, is an absolute necessity. The grace of God in the heart of the parent or guardian will do an infinite amount of good in this work. And if this grace abounds, much patience, wisdom, tact, and judgment will be manifested, and thought, and study, and prayer will not be wanting. For no one who has the grace of God in the heart, and has been made to feel his utter helplessness, and need of divine help in this responsible work, will ever think of trying to go a day's journey without the Saviour, and his presence is only secured by the asking; persistent and earnest asking is needed. Not but what he is ever ready, and more than willing to help, but we must sense our utter emptiness, and weakness, and want, and that in him there is help, and then we will get it; then we can pray for what we want, and get the help we need.

It is a responsible work, this spoiling children. Very few, I think, will care to meet their work in the Judgment. And the influence of that work is far-reaching. Who can measure the influence of one child spoiled; or more, the influence of the work done, or left undone, in spoiling one child. That influence is as wide as the sea, as deep as the ocean, as far-reaching as eternity. The terrible result of spoiling children may be seen every day. But the results in all their terrible reality, and in all their magnitude, and far-reaching consequences, of souls lost, lost in the blackness and darkness of eternal death itself, will never be seen till the result of our life-work is unfolded before us in the eternal world. Who will care to meet that influence?

If I were to go to my Bible for examples, I would find that spoiled children were the rule, and those trained up in the way they should go the exception. Of the first two children born in this world, one was spoiled, and became a murderer of his brother, who was better than he. Of the many sons and daughters begotten by Adam there is no very encouraging record left of only two of them. Of the forty-two kings of Israel and Judah, only eight were good kings. Spoiled when children is no doubt the record with the others. And their lives were destitute of moral character, and ruin came at last upon the nation ruled by them.

Then there was David, the king of Israel. Of his sons who were born to him, it were far better for them had they been laid in a child's grave. There was one who was very attractive—Absalom. He was praised for his beauty. There was no blemish in him. I certainly think he must have been spoiled. Petted when a child, praised when a young man, and he turned traitor to his country, and pursued his father to take from him his kingdom, and his life. He must truly have been a spoiled child.

Why are the lives of these men written out so minutely? Why are their biographies given? Ah, reader, these things were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come! They are God's object lessons for parents of all succeeding ages to look upon. And the history of their lives, thus given complete, can be looked upon, with all their vices and failures, as something to be dreaded; that parents may instruct their children to avoid such pitfalls. They are written to stir up parents to their duty; to arouse them to the fact that if they would not see their children going down to ruin, they must stem the tide. And with all the power that God and nature can give them, they should rouse themselves to the fearful responsibilities resting upon them, that they may at last be able to say, "Here am I and the children thou hast given me." May this at last be the lot of writer and reader.

H. F. PHELPS.