p. 186 | A WORD TO MOTHERS by Mary Emily Wright

Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · Jan 22, 1894

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 20, No. 12.

A WORD TO MOTHERS.

By Mary Emily Wright

BY MARY EMILY WRIGHT.

How often you hear a mother say: "Oh, she won't be young but once, let her enjoy herself! I do not want to make an old woman out of her." This is a mistake. The girl who is never called upon to assist with the home duties is encouraged in selfishness, and is not being fitted to care for her own home when she has one. First the school duties and then social demands are urged as reasons why a young girl should not be tied to home cares and labors, and so, amid a round of gayety, the things which would best fit her to govern her own heart and home are left out of her education. Only a girl thoroughly imbued with selfishness will be the happier for such indulgence. To one with a spirit of love and helpfulness it will be a real grief. Sometimes in an emergency the daughter offers to take the place of the cook, who has failed to come or is ill; naturally she makes some mistakes. Are these sufficiently overlooked and the successes praised to encourage her to try again? or does the mother ungraciously say she would rather do it herself than to have materials wasted? Show a just appreciation of every effort of your girls to help you, and where services are not offered, require them when needful, and so shall they grow to be womanly women.

Teach the sons to be careful of mother, too. Why should a boy be allowed to sleep over the breakfast hour just because he does not wish to get up? His mother has to put up his breakfast, making a vain effort to keep it hot, and serve it when he wishes to come down, when often, instead of thanking her, he grumbles because the meal is not so palatable as when first served. The boy should be taught that mother's time and strength are valuable, and that he will not be allowed to tax them unnecessarily.

It is a fact worthy of note that the children of unselfish mothers are generally very selfish; if a mother would teach her children to be unselfish, she must give them the opportunity and the encouragement, at the risk of appearing somewhat selfish herself. Her unselfish example is rarely sufficient.

Kate Douglass Wiggin speaks of mothers "immersed in a puddle of maternal affection." The phrase is very apt. So many women seem to think that maternal affection consists in effacing themselves and becoming nothing more than a servant to a child, until he or she learns to consider mother as little more than the source of supplies, calling upon her for the gratification of every conceivable wish, no matter how much time, strength, or nerve force it may cost. Look at the matter from the standpoint of the children's welfare and begin to teach them to be helpful as soon as they pass infancy; let them begin to fill their niche in the family economy, and feel that they have a work to do in the world.

The fathers ought to take the initiative in impressing these things, but, alas! how often the children are only following the father's example when they show selfish inconsiderateness.

Above all, mothers, do not waste strength in putting on unnecessary ruffles and tucks to gratify maternal pride, and then when they come home from school be too tired to enter, with any zest, into the story of school life or the lessons.

Take time to rest every day, time to keep in touch with events in the world, that your mind may be as wide-awake as the eager little seekers after knowledge who come to you as miners to a mine. Be the moral, intellectual, and spiritual guide of your children, not the gratifier of every thoughtless, selfish wish; then will they rightly estimate the mother's place in the home, and it will not be necessary to admonish them to take care of her, for she will be the object of their tenderest solicitude and most devoted affection.—American Agriculturist.