p. 441 | SYMPATHY by Mrs. C. R. McCartney

Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · May 14, 1894

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 20, No. 28.

SYMPATHY.

By Mrs. C. R. McCartney

WHAT a beautiful word! It is often misunderstood. It is not pity for one in trouble. It is a far bigger word than that. It is made up of two Greek words, "sun," with, and "pathos," feeling—"a feeling with,"—a feeling with in joy and in sorrow, in hopes and in fears, in ambition, purpose, resolution, lofty aim; in disappointment, defeat, despair. Oh, the power of sympathy! It is like those fairy spirits we used to read about in childhood, which had the power of instantly conveying themselves unseen into the most secret apartment. By it a mother can stoop and enter into the heart of her babe, or with swelling bosom draw breath for breath with the son in manhood's prime. I think there is no mother but has this capacity in some degree. Cultivate this God-given power. Like everything else we would have grow, whether in the world of nature or of spirit, it will not grow without painstaking.

When your little boy has been working for hours trying to make some plaything, again and again some part refuses to work. He has tried and tried, but at length, in a burst of grief and disappointment, he dashes it from him and sits down and weeps. Do not chide him for being naughty; do not laugh at him for being so silly as to cry about a trifle. It is no more a trifle than it is for that man who has toiled day after day for years to amass money enough to buy a lot and build a house, and who sees it burnt to ashes just as he was about to step in and enjoy it. And who thinks of laughing or chiding at such a time? Nor yet is it enough as you bend over the garment you are making to look up and say: "Poor little fellow. Don't cry. Here's a piece of candy." This is not sympathy. It may perhaps stop the crying, but you have not felt with your boy. Lay aside your work, rise, and, lifting the toy, examine it; see what he was aiming at, and make that aim yours for the moment. Show him where the fault lay; get him to help you to put it right, and return to your work, having set a-going a new wavelet of hope and courage and joy in this world of ours, which may perhaps never cease widening till it has touched the eternal shores.

When the lessons of your boy or girl have become more than mere child's play, and they have commenced in earnest the hard and difficult task of study, as much as possible meet these difficulties with them. Knowledge gives power. It makes a boy look up to his mother with confidence when he thinks that she possesses that knowledge he is struggling to attain. So let me urge you, as much as your talents, age, circumstances will permit, to equip yourself for being the companion and guide of your sons and daughters in their studies.

When the young soul begins to be stirred with thoughts of God, of eternity, of the great unknown that lies beyond this earthly scene, oh, do not make light of it! Do not laugh, as so many parents do, at the "cute questions," as they call them, which they ask. Catch, if possible, the idea of the yearning soul; take time and pains to meet it and explain it if you can; and if you cannot—for even a child will ask a question which the wisest philosopher and Christian can only ask—if you cannot, be a little child, and, with his hand in yours, stand silently and reverently at the edge of the great deep. Cultivate this confidential communing on the unseen, and when your child begins in earnest to grapple with its awful realities, when he awakes to the sense of his lost condition by nature, and his need of a Saviour, there will be no icy crust separating between you and sealing your lips; but, recalling your own early experiences, you will point out to him the steps you trod, and, taking him by the hand, you will lead him to Jesus. Pity the poor mother that has no such experiences, and therefore knows not how or where to lead. Still give him your hand—the hand of sympathy—he may lead you if you cannot lead him.

Another season when sympathy is craved and needed, and too often denied, is when the young heart is stirred with the emotions of love. How frequently is this made a time of sore trial to a young man or woman! How often are they made the butt of the family circle! Jokes and jeers fly thick at his cost. This should not be. Indulge not in anything approaching this yourselves. Mothers, tolerate it not in other members of the family circle. Teach them that pure, virtuous love is a holy and sacred thing, and make them to feel that there is one place where they may unbosom themselves without fear of ridicule or upbraiding or betrayal.—Mrs. C. R. McCartney.