RECIPE FOR SCANDAL MONGER.
TAKE a grain of falsehood, a handful of runabout, a sprig of herb of backbite, a teaspoonful of don't you tell it, six drachms of malice, and a few drops of envy. Stir well and let simmer for an hour. Add a little discontent and jealousy, then strain through a bag of misconstruction. Cork it in a bottle of malevolence and hang it on a skein of street yarn. Shake it occasionally for a few days and it will be ready for use. Take a few drops before going out to walk, and you will succeed.—Selected.