IN the social world, where good form is as binding as the Decalogue is to the Christian, fathers and mothers have made it impossible for a young woman to think of entertaining her young man friend shut away alone with him. Strange to say, it has been the modest home, the Christian parent, who has allowed Satan to set this trap for unwary feet by leaving the young daughter, without one word of instruction, to entertain some young man, perhaps a stranger, who passed as her lover, shut away in the "parlor," while everybody was given to understand that no one must disturb the mysterious solemnities of "keeping company," even if they should continue into the small hours. And as a result of the disregard of simple good form, which is as a fence against recognized danger, untold sin and sorrow have resulted.
Hand-shaking.
"GOOD FORM" toned down from the extreme rigidity of the social world, so as to meet the requirements of ordinary Christian intercourse, would teach that the hand-shake should be just what its name indicates—a clasp, a shake, and then a drop. Teach your son that he should never place any lady in the embarrassing position of having her hand crushed or held one second; for if she has been properly taught, she will be sure that he is either ignorant, careless, or ungentlemanly in so doing; and if she is herself ignorant and careless, if she is weak enough to allow her hand to be held, she is in a condition where she needs to be protected from herself; and your son should be able to be that protector.
Teach your daughter that if any man clings to her fingers when she has given him her hand in friendly, cordial fashion, if he takes the liberty of placing his other hand under her elbow, or taking hold of her arm, that it is her privilege and duty to teach him that he has committed a breach of good manners by withdrawing her hand, forcibly if she must, and stepping out of his reach. And any young man who is worthy of her friendship will in his heart thank her for the rebuke, and profit by it.
Many a boy who has grown up in a family of sisters, and among their friends, has, in going out into the world, had to suffer over and over such tortures of chagrin and shame as were almost unendurable before he could learn those little things in "good form" which should have been taught him by precept and example in his home from childhood; and, for a lack of right teaching in this "hand-to-hand" relation, many a boy has been taken captive by shameless women, simply because he practised in the wider and more wicked world the free habits which were common in the neighborhood life at home, which, while neither right nor safe there, were not absolutely dangerous, because each knew everybody, and all were held in respectability by the short rein of close social relations.
Kissing.
ONE girl came to me, her face suffused with blushes, but with a determined expression about her mouth, and said:
"I am going to ask you something right out plain, because I think you will not laugh. I've never dared ask anybody yet, because everybody always laughs in such a mean way if you try to find out anything about such things; and I'd like to know how girls are going to know just what to do. Now it's just this way: I am going with Charlie, and he is a nice boy; he wants to do what is right, I know he does, but all the boys have such queer ideas about their 'right.' When he takes me home from church or any place—and I've just got so I dread to have him; and sometimes I think I won't go with another boy as long as I live, because, you see, when I go to say 'Good night,' he—he thinks I am so queer because I won't let him kiss me. But I won't; I never let anybody but my own folks. I don't like it; I don't think it's nice to do that way unless it's somebody you're sure of, and love very much. He says I'm queer; and he gets provoked, and says it's his right, if he goes with me. Now I want to know—is it?"
"No; it is not," I said, positively, and perhaps with a little flavor of indignation. "And no properly instructed young man