p. 190 | Obedience to Parents

Pacific Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Oakland, California · Jun 19, 1879

Obedience to Parents.

It is a growing belief that children of the present age are lacking in deference and respect as well as in obedience to parents, or those exercising parental authority over them. At least we often hear remarks which tend strongly to impress on the mind the existence of such a belief.

Whether this be the general fact or an opinion founded on fancy, it is conclusive that appearances have been taken as evidence of such fact.

It is true that the methods of governing children at home and pupils in school have changed materially in the lapse of years. There is not so much harshness in the mode as when the rod and ferule were instruments of correction. It is quite possible, too, that with this remove from barbarism a milder form of address may have been assumed, and imperceptibly some laxity of discipline have arisen. But rudeness is not the legitimate result of courtesy; hence we must seek some other cause for so deplorable a fault.

Where children are held in check through fear of corporal punishment, the restraint lessens as they grow in years. If they have no more powerful motive to govern them than mere impulse, they are likely to give way to their passions. On the other hand, if they have had no restraint, but have been suffered to speak and act during childhood just as their feelings have prompted, it ought not to be expected they will practice any disguise. All children rebel under restraint, though all may not manifest the rebellious feeling. The fault of disrespect in children may in most cases be traced directly to the home discipline, for which children clearly are not censurable.

But there is a point beyond childhood, when such a fault becomes a crime. Our statute books affix no penalty, neither do they recognize any authority in the matter; but the Divine Lawgiver has not overlooked the passible evil, nor left unrecorded the consequences of such guilt. Moreover, the first commandment with promise bears directly on this question, and is as forceful at the present time as when it was first uttered. No child who has arrived at years of accountability can violate this commandment with impunity.

We cannot pretend to say just how merited punishment will be meted out, but we appeal to the judgment of those who are, or have been guilty, for proof of our assertion. Have you not felt a consequent loss of self-respect, and a bitterness of spirit that has left you ill at ease with yourself because of your transgressions? Neither can this be the only unpleasant result from so heinous an offence. A parent may be long suffering and not withdraw his care and kindness, even though a child may have provoked his righteous indignation, but an observing community is not slow to perceive these offences and to pronounce judgment on the offenders.

It is a great misfortune for a child to have been allowed to form a disrespectful habit. Such an one cannot rightly judge of its effect upon character, for his sensibilities have been blunted. But we cannot think that any boy or girl can suppose that it shows either good manners or a kind heart to disregard the reasonable commands or wishes of their parents. A pert, cross, or abrupt manner towards those to whom you owe filial love and reverence, imparts neither dignity nor grace.

Children are under lasting obligations to parents. They may be sometimes painfully conscious that parents have defective character and habits, but this does not give license for neglect on the part of children. Prompt and respectful obedience is but a small return for years of unremitting toil and tenderness. Ingratitude is always base, but doubly so when shown in disobedience to parental authority.

If the boys and girls, the young men and maidens, who are guilty of this hateful practice, could see themselves as others see them, they would shrink with abhorrence from a repetition of such offences.—Sel.