DEAR BRO. WHITE:—With feelings of deep regret that I have not been more self-denying, and thereby had more to advance the cause of truth, I sit down to write. We received the Review and Herald yesterday. I have watched with anxiety for the Paper, (which it seems to me we ought to have weekly,) and wondered why it did not come. I welcome its appearance with joy, and when I read its pages, I am stirred up to more engagedness. When I read the labors of love of those that have left all, and gone out to win souls to Christ, to sound the solemn notes of the third angel, I am led to inquire, what have I done in this work? For, surely, I must have something to do. Have I done all that was in my power to do? No, I can see that I have not, and am sorry I have not been more faithful.
My heart rejoices to see the cause of truth prosper, to read the thrilling testimonies of those who have just broken loose from the Sabbath of the Pope, and become willing to be, or to do anything for Christ's sake. Yes, willing to become identified with the poor and despised people of God that are keeping all the commandments, and have all manner of evil spoken against them falsely for Christ's sake. But we are told to "rejoice and be exceeding glad; for great is your reward in heaven; for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."
I feel a deep sense of gratitude to God for his goodness to me in calling after me this once more, and I feel as though it was the last time. In 1843 and 1844, I was looking for the Lord to come to take his children home, although I was young I realized something what I must be to be ready to meet him in peace. But after the passing of the time, I knew not what to believe, for I certainly thought the Lord would then come. But I thought I would serve God, thinking that time would soon end, every day might be the last; but as time continued, I began to grow careless, and still more careless, until love of the world, pride and fashion crept into my heart, and I lost all the life of religion, gave up my profession, and joined with the gay pursuers of happiness in the perishing things of this world. I was in this condition when I heard of the message of the third angel. But we lived thirty miles from any one that kept the Sabbath.
My uncle Chandler Preston and Bro. Hyatt would occasionally visit us, and talk the truth, and I believed it to be the truth; but had not strength to come out and take a decided stand, surrounded, as I was, by my young associates, and no one near to encourage me.—At length I came to Bro. Hyatt's on a visit, and when there, I heard the truth more fully presented by Bro. Bates, which arrested me, and I determined from that to live no more to myself, but devote myself to Him who gave his life for me. And many rich blessings I have thus far received. O, I want to be wholly prepared to work in the vineyard of the Lord.