Repentance from a Lukewarm State
By Marcia S. Avery
DEAR BRETHREN AND SISTERS: It is a long time since you have heard from me. My condition has in truth been sad indeed. "Wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked," but notwithstanding all this, I feel that the goodness of God has been great, inasmuch as he has not permitted me to give up the precious truth; and I now have through his abundant mercies, a willingness as well as a great desire, to see myself, be zealous and repent, lest I am spued out of his mouth, or become a castaway at last. I long to get open the door of my heart that Jesus can take the full possession. Although I have long been trying to do this, I am still unsatisfied and often when I see my inclination to selfishness, impatience, and even a fretful complaining spirit, I have many fears that I shall come short of the inheritance that those alone who are faithful and overcome can hope to receive. As I review the past, and see how insensible I have been of the Lord's goodness, how half-hearted in loving and serving him and how much the love of the world has found a place in my affections, I feel truly sorry. I have made a great profession before the world, but have greatly failed in living it out, and showing by my daily walk and conversation that I was living in the perils of the last days. O how have I suffered myself to sleep and be at ease in this lukewarm state, not realizing the awful danger I was in till aroused by the true Witness. And even yet I have fears that I am not wide awake and engaged as I should be in this all-important work. I see there is some difference as yet in the minds of some as to what the gold is, and as we are counselled of Jesus to buy of him that we may be rich, it seems to be of the most vital importance, that we know what it is. It looks very plain to me that it is charity, or love, from the following scripture. 1 Cor. xiii, 2, 3. And though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity it profiteth me nothing. I feel that I have lacked in this, and had I been in possession of that love that heareth, believeth, hopeth and endureth all things, I should never have been so poor as I was found. 13th verse. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. We also read in Col. iii, 12, 13 that we are to put on bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, forbearing one another; but the 14th verse says, And above all things put on charity, which the bond of perfectness. According to 1 John 2, 10 He that loveth his brother, abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. Thus it appears plain to me that had the brotherly-love continued which was manifested in the Philadelphia state of the church, there would have been none occasion of stumbling among us; and if as we read "faith cometh by hearing," how then do we buy it. O I do long for the pure love of Jesus in my heart. I know it is what I need; and when I have it fully, I believe I shall also have the white-raiment and eye-salve, or the means to obtain it. Dear brethren and sisters, I can say truly that I have an increasing interest in the Review. I love to hear from the scattered flock, their hopes of overcoming, and their determinations, through faithfulness, of gaining a glorious inheritance. Yes, I have often been made glad for the instruction I have gathered from its columns. I yet remember with satisfaction and I trust with gratitude that excellent article on keeping the heart; also the essay on secret prayer. I take courage as I there read of the onward march of truth, of the rise of the Third Angel's Message, and the increasing zeal of the remnant. The little church here I trust are rising, endeavoring to cut loose of the world, and be ready for the soon coming of Jesus. Last March we were much strengthened by the meetings that were held in this place by Brn. Holt and Cornell who faithfully set before us our miserable condition, and comforted us with the words of life, exhorted us to zealous repentance. May the Lord abundantly reward their labors of love. I shall never forget the soul-stirring exhortation of Bro Holt at his departure. During our lukewarm state a number left our ranks, but our hearts were made to rejoice that after listening to the truth, as set forth by Brn. H. and C., three of that number in our immediate neighborhood arose and with full hearts confessed their wrongs, and their determinations to trample the holy law of God no longer under foot. About three weeks since we were also made glad by the coming of Bro. Bates. He continued with us four or five days presenting the truth in its beauty. O how plain and lovely the truth appeared; and as he spoke of the mediation of Jesus, I was made to realize more than ever that we have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities. I feel truly that our privileges are great, that we have an opportunity of hearing the great saving truths of the Bible, of reading that holy book for ourselves, and as yet, of keeping the commandments; and we find here that the nearer we do the will of God, and follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth, the more persecution arises. This we should esteem as a privilege; to suffer the frowns of the world, remembering that the servant is not greater than his Lord. O that we may live near the Lord; having our walk close with him; and then though the wicked may rage, and all our kindred and earthly friends forsake us, we may know if we are engaged in the good cause, the Lord is on our side. O is not this enough to know that such a friend is ours. The kingdom is near, and we must be diligent and watch that we fall not out by the way. We must show to unbelievers by our conversation, and all our works that we have come out from the world, and are dead to its pleasures and praise, and are seeking for that City whose builder and maker is God. O for grace to overcome that I may finally meet you all in the kingdom.
MARCIA S. AVERY.
Locke, Mich., May 30th, 1857.
Yours,
Battle Creek.