p. 12 | The Parents in the Home by Mrs. L. D. Avery-Stuttle

Pacific Press Publishing Association · Mountain View, California · Nov 12, 1912

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 39, No. 44.

The Parents in the Home

By Mrs. L. D. Avery-Stuttle

The Place Which They Occupy

By Mrs. L. D. Avery-Stuttle

SITTING in my window, one evening, I saw a very beautiful sight—one which set me thinking. A working man in soiled overalls, with dinner-pail in hand, came slowly down the street. One might easily imagine him to be very tired, and perhaps a little discouraged also, judging from the look of dejection upon his face, as well as from his shuffling gait.

Suddenly a change came over him. His lagging step quickened; his eyes brightened; the look of weariness vanished.

What magic power had so suddenly possessed this man, making him forget weariness and hunger?

Far down the sidewalk came the patter of little feet. Papa's baby had seen him coming, and hurried to meet him as fast as the toddling feet could fly.

A little blanket has been pinned on the baby head by loving hands, and the tiny apron is “spick and span,” even if the chubby face above it is a trifle dirty.

That man acts as fresh and unfatigued as he did in the early morning, as the chubby form is lifted to a seat on papa's shoulder.

Well, it was a pretty sight; and it made me certain of two things: first, that this man loved his little boy; and second, that he was kind to him. I felt quite sure, also, that in after-years, that baby boy, grown to manhood, would think of that father with veneration and love.

O, blessed be the man to whom baby feet fly as naturally as birds to their nests! and happy the woman toward whom the dimpled arms of babyhood are extended lovingly! O, commend me to that man or that woman whom little children love!

“But,” says one; “is it not the business of the father and mother, first of all, to command obedience?”

Most certainly; there can be no true love without obedience. God has laid a responsibility upon parents, which it is impossible to overestimate. But with the responsibility comes also a sacred joy, to which even the angels of heaven must be strangers.

What position do the parents occupy in the home?—Undeniably they are the head of the family. To them pertains the duty of caring for and ministering to the physical necessities of their children, first, last, and constantly. But while this must be done, of far greater importance is the duty of ministering to the spiritual nature of the child.

And to the mother, more than to any other, this sacred trust has fallen by common consent. But I sometimes question if, in the wide-spread anxiety for the mother to be faithful and true, it may not be possible that the father has in some degree been overlooked. And I question if God will not hold both parents equally responsible for the bringing up of their children.

“But suppose we do our best, and after all, our children later go astray?”

Ah, this is the cry from many a sad and loving heart! Look at that family. The children have grown up and left the old home. They each received the same parental training, and yet some of them are gone wofully astray, while the others are a credit to their parents and friends.

Yes, they all received the same training. Well, possibly here is where the trouble lies. Perhaps when Mary and John were children, they both ran away from school one day. The mother whipped them both. Result: Mary became obedient and docile; John, on the contrary, became reckless and self-willed, and more determined than ever to resist the will of both parents and teachers.

Now it seems to me that it is the province of the parents—both of them—to study the peculiar disposition and temperament of each child in the family circle,—study them carefully and prayerfully. That which would be stern discipline to one child, might not be sufficiently severe to bring good results in another case. A single glance of sad displeasure given by the mother, to little Mary, might be all the punishment needed; while for another, “the rod” which the wise man recommended is the only reasonable alternative.

A wise physician studies the physical make-up and the especial temperament of each of his patients. It would hardly be sensible to administer the same medicine, in the same amount, to a delicate and sensitive woman, which might, with perfect propriety, be given to a large, strong nerved and coarsely organized man,—simply because they are both “adults.”

But a thousand times more necessary is it for parents to use tact and judgment in dealing with their children. The boys and girls may wander from the right path in after-life; but I tell you—and I hope my words will sink deep into the heart—I tell you that if these wayward boys and girls have pleasant memories of their childhood home to look back upon, if they can remember nothing but loving and tender words and importunate prayers, then there is surely hope that they will some day return to the path of virtue and true happiness.

If not—but the other picture is too sad to dwell upon.

Yet the highest place in the home should be given—and is given by common consent, as well as by the command of God—to the parents.

Let no sacrilegious hand place any other upon that pedestal of honor.

It is with a feeling of real sorrow that we read the history of Eli, the aged priest of Israel. How plainly we can “read between the lines,” and get a general idea of his family, when young Hophni and Phinehas were but lads in the old home! Eli did not occupy the honored position which belonged to him, and which belongs to and should be accorded every father. His sons were headstrong and wilful, even in childhood. Without doubt, Eli remonstrated with them. But their faults were regarded as mere childish follies, and went unpunished. “Surely,” reasoned the father, “when my sons are grown, they will see for themselves the foolishness of sin, and will themselves turn to righteousness.”

Vain hope! The vicious habits of the wayward youth grew with their growth, and strengthened with their strength. They had never felt the restraining hand of parental authority. The parents had not insisted upon respectful obedience when it would have been comparatively easy to enforce it; and now the rebellious sons, priests of the Lord, shamed their holy office, disregarded the feeble protest of their aged father, perjured their own souls, broke their marriage vows, esteemed the virtue of woman as lighter than vanity, cast aside every consideration of decency and manhood, and offered insult to the holy law of the Most High.

Still, ever and anon the same old-time feeble protest of the white-haired priest sounded idly in their ears: “My sons, why do ye such things?”

We all remember too well the tragic ending of these three misguided lives.

But too many parents have lamentably failed to take warning from this sorrowful example. Consequently there are many Elis in the world to-day, and many parents who demand and receive no more respect than he did.

Let us be thankful that it is the privilege of parents to—

Sow the seed in the young heart's soil, And water the seed with tears. We shall reap the harvest of all our toil In the light of eternal years.

The Conceited Door-Knob

SAID the door-knob to the door: “Please let me go, I beg, implore. I'm tired of swinging here with you, from day to day, the decades through.

“I'm handled by the rich and great; for me all classes pause and wait; and when I turn, you open wide; but if I'm still, you still abide.

“To me it then is clearly plain, for me to travel would be gain. I'd see the world; I'd get me fame; I'd have renown, and honored name.”

The door replied, with patient smile: “You'd better bide with me a while. ’Tis here you are of greatest use. Away from me you'll find abuse.”

“Don't be alarmed,” the knob replied; “for me, all doors will open wide. The rich, the poor, the small, the great,—all on my motions meekly wait.”

“Well, be it so,” the door replied; “but when you've fallen from my side, you'll find your fancied greatness o'er, and wish to be with me once more.”

The knob fell off with rattling sound, and tumbled helpless to the ground. Nor rich, nor poor, nor high, nor low, cared where the poor door-knob should go. The door-knob soon with sorrow learned that door-knobs, out of place, are spurned. His pride and fancied greatness o'er, he wished himself back on the door.

’Tis only those who keep their place, and do their work by help of grace, who can be counted great at all. Pride always goes before a fall.—T. H. Jeys.