Desires a Horse-Thief License
By Editor
A MAN who signs himself G. I. Lovegold, is reported to have applied to the board of supervisors of Imperial County, California, for a horse-thief license. In his plea for the license, he says he is willing to pay liberally for the privilege, and that he is emboldened to make the application, by reason of other special privileges that are sought by citizens "of good moral character." He says that these good moral people, so-called, ask for licenses for a business that produces at least three fourths of all the crime committed in the county and that has recently made the criminal court the most expensive in its history. Mr. Lovegold thinks his business would not be nearly so injurious to the community as that of selling intoxicating liquors. For instance, he would not take away the senses of any man, nor rob his purse. He would not cause any man to beat his wife, to commit murder, to raise a disturbance in the community. All he would desire would be simply the privilege of stealing horses. He says that he would do nothing to destroy men's souls, and that he would be willing to put himself under solemn obligation not to steal horses on Sunday, election days, or legal holidays, nor after twelve o'clock at night. He would not steal colts, nor horses that have no sense, nor old broken-down plugs. In fact, he thinks he would confine his stealing to the well-to-do only; but their bodies, their minds, their reputations, and their characters would not be hurt. He would simply take their horses. He reminded the board of supervisors that they had to have license fees to run the county; and that if he did not steal horses, somebody else would; and if they do not let him have a license for stealing them, the result will be that a lot of sneak-thieves and liars will, under cover, get them by stealth. Mr. Lovegold has certainly presented a very fine piece of irony. There is just as much sense in granting license to horse thieves as there is in granting license to saloon-keepers; for, as the gentleman points out, the horse thief would not do anything like the injury that is accomplished through the licensing of strong drink.