DEAR BRO. WHITE:—In compliance with the request of some of the brethren, I sit down to write some of the trials and experience I have passed through of late. But what are they? I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, Phil. iii, 8. I have been a member of the M. E. Church eleven years. Last fall, through affliction of body, I was led to search my heart. I found that I needed a deeper work of grace. The words sounded in my ears—Without holiness no man shall see the Lord. I purchased a book on that subject; but it gave me no relief.
I conversed with the Methodist Minister on the subject of holiness that he so much preached, but found he was destitute of it, and popular. Some of the members professed holiness; but I saw their lives did not correspond with Bible holiness. They could go hand in hand with the world. They could lie, make good bargains, be fashionable, popular, &c. I wanted something to overcome these evil propensities. The Minister told me if I was right, the Church would be, &c. But I returned to my Bethel with my Bible and asked God for light and knowledge.
Soon after, father hired Bro. Chapel to do some work for him. He talked some upon the present truth, which set me to thinking and searching my Bible more and more. I saw plainly then, that the church was a fallen people. I felt that I could not stay with them. It seemed to me that thick darkness had overshadowed them. But I did not understand the cause. I felt impressed to go and talk with Bro. Chapel’s family. I went: the Lord opened my understanding and sent the truth to my heart. I borrowed pamphlets and papers, which I carefully read. I could say from my heart, it is truth; yes, a great and important truth. I feel that the ten commandments are just what we need to show us what we must do to be holy. I thought I was keeping them, but I found by searching, that I was not. I had broken the fourth commandment, the Sabbath of the Lord our God. I felt to put my hands to my mouth and weep bitterly. I have always felt that the seventh day was the Sabbath, but thought Sunday ought to be called the seventh. I knew not that the Pope had altered the day, until I read the history respecting it. I am thankful that the Lord has shown me the true Sabbath, for I no longer want to worship the Beast.
I plainly saw that if I ever entered the kingdom I must keep all the commandments. Oh, how I longed to be free from the church! But here were trials. My parents, brothers, and friends were members of the church. They held me near their heart, I their only daughter and sister. They thought all was peace and safety until I commenced reading on the present truth and going to meeting.
Prayers and tears were poured out over me. Many false reports respecting the Advents were brought up to discourage me, but the Lord kept me, praise his name.
The first Advent meeting that I ever attended was last March. The Lord was with us. Third meeting was the Conference at Oswego, the last of March, where I received some more light and strength. Soon after I got home, the Enemy sent one of his Messengers (the Methodist preacher) to talk with me. He made himself manifest. He said he could prove anything by the Bible, he could prove it was right to steal; &c. The Lord stood by me. When gone, my parents asked if I had joined the Millerites, and was determined to go with them. I told them if receiving the truth, and believing as they did, was joining them, I had; for I felt I must serve God rather than man. Then father told me I must leave his house; for he would not have a Millerite in his house. I left and went to Bro. Chapel’s, who kindly received me, where I staid a few days. Then came to Bro. Arnold’s. Brother and Sister Goodwin were there. I there was buried with Christ in baptism. I then came home with Brother and Sister Goodwin, where I now remain. I feel truly thankful that the Lord has opened a place for me with this family. I feel that I am among the children of God. The Lord has done great things for me, whereof I need to rejoice. He has brought me out from among the rubbish, glory be to his name.