Confession of Lukewarmness
By C. R. Austin
Bro. Smith: It is very humiliating to me after being so abundantly blessed of God for so many years, to find myself in a state of lukewarmness. Before I was ten years old I made a solemn covenant with God to be his servant forever; and he has always treated me as a father would a child. His tender mercies and loving kindness manifested to me have been very great. His Spirit has always been near, pointing to that “rest that remaineth to the people of God,” as an encouragement to persevere. And when the cares of life, or the pleasures of this vain world, have overcharged the heart, and turned my feet astray, it has pointed to the narrow path hallowed by our Saviour’s sacred feet, as the only way by which the heavenly city could ever be reached. The blessings which I have received from his hand all the way, have been without number. And when the angel of Rev. xiv, 6, flew on his mission, I was permitted to listen to the solemn announcement, “The hour of his judgment is come.” And now within three years, the solemn and awful threatening of the Third Angel has fallen upon my ear, and has been received into my heart as the last message of mercy to a guilty world. But what is my life? and what is the state of my heart? Does it show that I believe what I profess? My heart has often been pained within me, when I have looked at the example given us to follow, and have seen how far I was from living up to it. And I have sometimes asked myself if I really believed that we are living in the great day of atonement. O yes, I know I firmly believe it; but why so indifferent? I had felt for some months that I was a great way from what I should be, and what I desired to be, and when I read Bro. White’s first article on the Laodicean state of the church, I felt and said that it was too true, as far as self is concerned, and I feared it was the case with the children of God as a body. O it is an agonizing thought that after the blessed Saviour has let the glorious truths of the Bible, which have been buried under papal tradition, shine out so clear, and sent three special messages to prepare the way for his coming, and filled our hearts with joy and gladness at the prospect of meeting him so soon, should now have to stand without and knock for admittance, because the room that belongs to him is filled with other objects. Praise his holy name that he has not cut us down as cumberers of the ground, but is still extending his arm in mercy to receive us. And his voice is still heard in earnest entreaty and affectionate counsel to us. May the Lord help us to heed the counsel, and open the door, and so prepare our own hearts to receive him, that he may come in and sup with us, and take up his abode with us, never more to be crowded out. I feel as though the race could not be given up here, and I want to so humble myself before God, that my sins may be washed away in Jesus’ blood, and be blotted from the book of his remembrance, and I be permitted to stand with those that overcome on the Mt. Zion. Berkshire, Vt., Jan. 17th, 1857.