Seeking Victory Through Grace
By L. B. Abbey
DEAR BRETHREN AND SISTERS: I wish to write, but what shall I say? I cannot find language to express my feelings. This is constantly in my mind, "Draw near all ye that fear the Lord, and I will tell you what he has done for my soul." Since the conference here in Oct. I have been striving for a deeper work of grace in my heart; but at times have felt almost ready to give up, thinking I never should obtain the victory which I knew I must have in order to stand against the fiery darts of the enemy in these times of peril. When I saw the appointment in the Review, for another general meeting, my heart leaped for joy. Still I did not anticipate anything very special in regard to myself. I was able to attend the meeting, felt benefited, and much strengthened; saw some there which I had reason to believe enjoyed constant peace, and had obtained a victory that I had not, but must have. I said in my heart, I must be more in earnest; I must take more diligent heed to the counsel of the faithful and true Witness; I must not be so dilatory and stupid as heretofore. I began to cry to the Lord to awaken sensibility in my heart. Unworthy and undeserving as I have been, and still am, the Lord listened to my supplication, and appeared to the joy of my soul. I could truly say, Jesus has come in, and does "sup with me, and I with him." My joy was such, for a few days, I could scarcely sleep, or eat my food. O, the goodness and condescension of our heavenly Father. O that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men. Truly I can say, "The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation and my high tower." Truly the Lord is a high tower, into which the righteous may enter and be safe. I rejoice that there is as much of the spirit of primitive holiness being awakened among the children of God as there is; but, my dear brethren and sisters, we need much more of it to enable us to stand in the great and dreadful day of the Lord, the day of slaughter. For the day of the Lord is great and very terrible; and who can abide it? In reading the Bible through by course I lately came to the prophet Joel. How I lingered there, and read it over and over. He gives such a striking description of the day of the Lord, and also of his people. They shall climb the wall like men of war, they shall march every one on his ways, and they shall not break their ranks. There has never such light shone into my mind from the Scriptures of truth as at the present time; they are so full of meaning, so clear. I used to be rather doubting, but now the light seems clearer than the noon-day sun. O my brethren and sisters, when shall we come into the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ? That we may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that we might be filled with all the fullness of God. O, my heart is longing for this fullness, that I may have a full sense of our high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded. I would not be understood as presuming to have attained perfection, but am pressing toward the mark for the prize which is at the end of the race. I feel the need of having all the graces of the Spirit developed in my character daily, that I may be a living epistle, known and read of all with whom I am conversant. I feel the need of much patience, of meekness, and the spirit of forgiveness. Dear brethren and sisters, do we not need much of the spirit of forgiveness that we may forgive each other as God for Christ's sake has forgiven us. As this is an inexhaustible subject, I must stop at the commencement, asking the prayers of my dear brethren and sisters, that I may finally overcome and stand with them on the mount Zion.
L. B. ABBEY.
North Brookfield, N. Y., Feb., 1859.