p. 29 | SELF-SUSPICION

Publishing Committee · Battle Creek, Mich. · Dec 15, 1859

SELF-SUSPICION.

Ever with meekness and fear should the Christian give a reason for the hope that is in him; whether to the skeptic, denying Christ's power to save, or to his own conscience, in the inquiry respecting the integrity of his personal faith. Since godliness is in fact profitable unto all things, and self-deception ever too easy, the disciple cannot be too jealous lest he be following the Master for gain.

But the godly jealousy may be perverted into a slavish fear. What means the custom long prevalent, of asking the candidate for admission to the church, whether he was willing to be damned—whether if divine justice should take its course, he could still praise and adore his Maker? Practically, the question was incongruous; for man was created and redeemed just in order that he might not die. But in theory it had its value, as implying that God is glorious in all his doings—ever adorable though one perish under his frown.

But suppose a Christian, inquiring whether annihilation or eternal misery is the doctrine of God's word, asks himself which he would prefer? Failing to answer impulsively, as thousands have done, with a suffrage for immortality at all hazards, he is overwhelmed with the surpassing fearfulness of eternal misery. Perhaps in his terror he utters an involuntary prayer to be saved from such a doom. But why be startled, why shudder if there is no such anguish? Whence came there so fearful a thought? Does the conception imply a fact, or is it a creation of fear? And was the terror created by self-love, or by a sense of guilt? Has Christ redeemed him from such a penalty? What would be his feelings in view of such a salvation? And what would be his feelings if such should finally prove to be the penalty, or if he should finally fail of such a salvation?

What wonder if the Christian should suspect some of his shudderings were quickened by a sense of guilt? or that his love of happiness partook too much of selfishness and sin? or if he should think it presumptuous to accredit the less fearful penalty? or if he should by a lofty effort of faith, accredit the more fearful penalty, and resolve to improve the view as best he could?

Doubtless many noble minds have ended the dire conflict in one or the other of these ways; and the mental qualities which make their opinion worthless, give it special influence over the minds of others.

But self-suspicion, in this grave question, may take one or two other forms. There are many who have not attained a full assurance of hope, and have not so felt conviction of sin as to reject all limitations of guilt. They have never thought of themselves as worthy of eternal suffering. If that be the penalty of God's law, they do not greatly fear it. If annihilation is not the penalty of sin, they are pretty sure of being saved at last. With them, to believe the worst is to hope the best.

Others fear they shall yet fall under temptation, and fall of the grace of God. They need every possible motive to ensure their perseverance. To make the doom of the lost less dreadful would be to make temptation less fearful. They prefer the alarm of endless woe, lest they be found tampering with death.

Thus many Christians, and multitudes who hope some time to become Christians, deprecate the abatement of any terror that may help them at the "convenient season." The most abandoned who yet retain their self-love, may even most earnestly desire manifold "powers of the world to come," to ensure their eternal enjoyment at last. It is like them to do so: the reckless are ever running heavy risks, hoping that the larger venture will more surely win the prize.

Extremes meet; in contrast with this recklessness is offered the safe-side argument, which Christians are too prone to employ against the sceptic. Salat's question is often asked in this form: "If the soul may die, instead of suffering forever, what is man's gain in believing it? If the doom they fear is unreal, their belief of it does not make it true." Doubtless. Yet the truth of God should be preferred to error; and the postponement of it to supposed expediency, and to a make-belief, as it is a sign of the fall, so also we think it has helped the progress of error in this great question.—Debt and Grace, by C. F. Hudson.