Recipe for Pickling Grievances.
TAKE a quarter of an ounce of Grievance. (N. B.—Some say a grain is sufficient, as in this recipe everything depends on the cooking. I have even been told it has been successful without any of the solid ingredient at all, but I only give what I have tried.) Bruise and pound it thoroughly, so that every particle of the fiber is laid bare. Season it with a good sprinkling of your Own Merits. Let it stand some hours, adding from time to time alternately a pinch of the Unrequited Delinquencies of Others, and their Undeserved Blessings. In the evening boil it in water from the Well of Pride, leaving it to simmer all night. The next morning strain from it all remnants of your own Well-deserved Trials, bottle it, and cork it tightly from the fresh air, which is fatal to it, securing the cork with parchment written over with the Generous Commendations of your acquaintances, and the Unjust Attacks of your best friends. This pickle is warranted to keep for years. If it should fail, it must be either from some defect of care in the straining, or because the vessel in which it was boiled had not been previously carefully rinsed from all remains of your own Undeserved Blessings. If it should lose any of its sharpness, you have only to boil the whole carefully over again in water from the same well, and you will find the flavor recover all its first acidity and pungency. Let no cooks attempt this recipe to whom the time is of any value, as all depends on the leisure bestowed on the preparation.—The Family Treasury.