Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
True love is sanctified affection like Christ's toward God and people, shown in patient endurance under injury and provocation without resentment, in active kindness in words and deeds, and in freedom from envy, boasting, pride and self-seeking. It is heaven-born from God, living only where Christ reigns, for the unconverted heart cannot originate it. Christ embodied it without exception in a proud and selfish world, with tender forbearance toward enemies and dull disciples that no opposition extinguished. Without it even tongues, prophecy, knowledge, mountain-moving faith, lavish giving and martyrdom profit nothing and leave a person nothing. It must be deliberately cultivated and put into active exercise, and where it rules it destroys pride and selfishness, controls speech to gentleness, unites believers and restores the erring with compassion.
Words Defining True Love
Charity is sanctified, Christlike love to God and man that every child of God must cherish, expressed as brotherly affection and lived out in obedience in the life of every true believer. It is fruit growing on the Christian tree and the Bible standard to reach, producing long-suffering patience, kindness, courtesy, forbearance, tender forgiveness, brotherly kindness, humility, and a kind conciliating spirit with good will toward all men and credit for the conscientiousness of brethren. It is of heavenly origin, the love of Christ that must be in the soul, tested so its growth may develop until it overcomes little bruises and sensitive feelings and shows forth in spirit, words and deeds as a bright shining light. Where this love is lacking profession is worthless, for suspicion, jealousy, censuring, blame, envy, boasting and pride show absence of the Spirit of Jesus and need for true conversion and the inner work of the Spirit of God in the soul. Failure to understand and live it causes troubles between brethren, discord, strife and an unhealthy condition of the church, as self-love and self-esteem lead professed Christians to measure themselves by themselves and to assume their surmisings and suspicions about others are correct.
To suffer long is patient, long-suffering endurance that bears injury, provocation, faults and being crossed without resentment, impatience, faultfinding or easily provoked temper, continuing to do good. It means patience and kindness in words, without cherishing evil thoughts, without temper easily disturbed and without giving passion loose rein, because the one yoked with Christ is held by the restraining power of His Spirit. Mere good impulses uncontrolled by reason and principle are a deception and are not this love, and to go contrary to the verse leaves the senses under a spell so that a person cannot see, hear or understand aright. Then the worst construction is put on words and actions, motives are judged, thought and memory come under Satan's control, little things are magnified, words and little actions are interpreted as meant to injure, and the good fades from memory. This patience belongs to the measure of a character filled with the love of Christ and the marks and likeness of Christ, the specification of the possibilities and heights reachable in and through Jesus Christ and the standard of perfection in Him and through His merits that all for whom He died may attain.
Falling short comes from being content to look at earthly and common things rather than heavenly things, while beholding Christ changes character from glory to glory and requires lifting sight higher and still higher. God's workers, ministers in Christ's stead, those connected with institutions and those in responsible positions must therefore be united in sympathy and kindness, manifest tender compassion and the sympathy of Jesus for those out of the way and committing sins of ignorance, put away every selfish consideration, and cultivate patience, brotherly kindness and forbearance. They must be subdued, converted and sanctified by obedience to the truth, and instead of oppressing, injuring, bruising, hurting and condemning, must restore, for the oppressive unfeeling spirit without compassion or tenderness is an offense to God and comes from Satan. To claim truth while surmising evil, being impatient and unforgiving, crediting hearsay, telling it to others without learning facts from the accused, delighting to criticize brethren, cherishing bitter envying and strife, and harsh denunciation and severe judgment is to lie against the truth and deny Christ, for truth is pure, kind and unselfish. Fitness to teach is shown not by profession or discourses but by spirit and action in meekness of wisdom, going to the erring in brotherly kindness and tender compassion without partiality or hypocrisy, with kind forgiving courtesy, readiness to forgive, and sowing peace as peacemakers.
To be kind is active kindness, courtesy, tenderness and compassion shown in words, looks, manners and deeds, including gentle honest speech and sincere care in little daily duties. It begins the most valuable treatise on etiquette ever penned, given by Christ with the Holy Spirit speaking through Paul, defining true politeness as patient and kind love without envy, boasting or pride, whose words should be fixed permanently in the memory of every human being young and old as the standard for loving one another. This love is tender-hearted, compassionate, refined and courteous, patient and kind, not easily angered, still hoping and still enduring, proving the presence of the Spirit of Christ, making character holy, manners pleasing, words honest, taste refined and judgment sanctified. It is the character of angels, who never lose temper and are never envious or selfish and from whose lips no harsh or unkind word comes, and those who are to live with angels must share it. It is also a divine agency with wonderful power for healing that transforms life and makes earth a likeness and foretaste of heaven, so simply taught that even little children can understand it, and when older ones learn the simplicity and gentleness and tender love of the Saviour they can touch the hearts of little ones and teach them love's ministry of healing.
Love measured not by greatness or conspicuousness of work but by help afforded calls nothing inferior that needs to be done, thinks of doing works of kindness and finds joy in doing good and blessing others even in smallest acts of Christian duty that many despise as menial or shameful. Jesus lived this by condescending to commonplace duties in home life as well as public life, laboring as earnestly in lesser works as in larger ones, cheerfully doing what He saw another must do if He did not, gathering litter and shavings and putting them in the right place, never overlooking simple obscure work as too small for notice. To envy not is freedom from envy, jealousy, rivalry, ambition, self-seeking and desire for recognition or human praise, showing that genuine love is not self-seeking or self-exalting. It loves others because they belong to Christ whether appreciated, pleased or respected or not, and when motives, words or actions are misunderstood or misrepresented it takes no offense but continues steadily, thoughtful, hopeful and trusting in God's mercy and love. When workers share Christ's love and mission, jealousy, fault-finding, envy, dissension and rivalry give way to sympathy and unity in purpose, and the work of saving souls helps them grow in piety and purity.
Divine love deliberately cultivated and expressed through patience and kindness develops forbearance, generosity and concern for others, keeping a person approachable and warm toward their interests, with self-denial and self-control under provocation. It does not presume evil motives in others but grieves when sin is found among Christ's disciples. To vaunt not itself and to be not puffed up is freedom from boasting, self-display, pride, conceit, self-exaltation and seeking personal ease, showing love is humble and self-sacrificing, not quickly angered and keeping no account of evil. Love's virtues surpass spiritual gifts and make those gifts worthless when love is absent. Divine love ruling in the heart destroys pride and selfishness, leaving no envy, boasting or conceit, and its humility produces the purest joy, building the strongest and noblest character on patience and love expressed in trusting submission to the will of God.
This humble love never prompts a person to boast or exalt himself, to act in rash display, or to become overbearing, fault-finding or dictatorial. The heart where love reigns is guided to gentle, courteous, compassionate conduct toward others whether they suit personal fancy or not and whether they give respect or ill treatment. Love is an active principle that keeps the good of others continually in view and restrains inconsiderate actions lest the object of winning souls to Christ be failed, seeking not its own and not prompting seeking of personal ease and indulgence of self, since respect rendered to self hinders growth of love. The one who stands nearest to Christ in His kingdom is the one who on earth has drunk most deeply of His self-sacrificing love, moved as He was to give all and to live and labor and sacrifice even to death for the saving of humanity. It purifies the soul from pride and removes idols from the heart, for missionary activity alone does not prove genuine religion unless workers show the love seen in Christ's life and character.
Origin and Endurance of Love
The love described here is heaven-born, of God and of heavenly origin, coming from His Spirit and living and flourishing only where Christ reigns, and the unconverted heart cannot originate it. It is sanctified, Christlike love that must become the prevailing sentiment of the heart in order to labor together with God, because He is love, and without it all other excellent qualifications are worthless. As a principle of action it shapes character, governs impulses, subdues enmity and ennobles the affections, reaching beyond those who return favors or belong to one's household to extend to all people.
This love is precious to God and a divine agency with wonderful power for healing. When learned it endows life with healing power, transforms the life, and makes earth a likeness and foretaste of heaven. It can be taught so simply that even little children can understand it, and when older ones learn the simplicity and gentleness and tender love of the Saviour they can touch the hearts of little ones and teach them its ministry of healing.
It endures forever as a lasting Christian grace suited to the immortal condition, unlike spiritual gifts that will no longer be needed when perfection comes. Nourished by heaven it is an evergreen, immortal and eternal plant, watered continually by the dews of heaven, its branches not decaying and its leaves not withering, bearing mildness, gentleness, forbearance, patience under provocation, bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. Love is power, involving intellectual and moral strength whose excellence is efficiency to do good and nothing else but good. God measures work by how much love is put into it rather than the amount done, so even the smallest work done in pure love is wholly fruitful.
Love prevails and gains the victory where argument and authority are powerless. It is diffusive in nature and quiet in operation, working not for profit or reward yet great gain follows every labor of love, strong and mighty to overcome great evils, melting and transforming in influence, taking hold of sinful lives and affecting hearts when every other means has failed. Wherever intellect, authority or force is used without manifest love, the affections and will of those sought become defensive and repelling and resistance grows stronger. It can accomplish what arguments and many words cannot, and is the best way to reform character and guide conduct, not dwelling on small mistakes or quickly marking small faults.
This love cannot live without action and must be deliberately cultivated, nourished, cherished and put into active daily exercise. Every loving act increases, strengthens and extends it. It is a tender plant of heavenly origin that must be carefully cherished and cultivated in order to grow, developing as every fellow man is seen as purchased by Christ's blood and as love for God and the truth grows. So cultivated it is expressed through patience and kindness, freedom from envy and jealousy, and humility rather than self-exaltation, developing forbearance, generosity and concern for others, self-denial and self-control under provocation, keeping a person approachable and warm toward the interests of others.
Christ's Example and Standard
The patience, kindness, and freedom from envy, boasting and pride described here were embodied without exception in the entire life of Christ, even amid a world filled with pride and selfishness. In Him this charity was complete, extending to freedom from unseemly conduct, self-seeking, provocation, evil thinking and delight in wrong, with rejoicing in truth and bearing, believing, hoping and enduring all things. These qualities are the fruits of God's grace that every follower will manifest in life and reveal in character, replacing the selfishness naturally written on the human heart with divine love and Christ's image through crucified self and subdued will in purity, nobility, meekness and lowliness. They are received by repentance and faith in Jesus, with greater faith receiving more of Christ, so that those who receive this spirit may be called children of God, while lack of these manifestations shows need for earnest seeking lest one remain a child of the wicked one. This love is not selfish or possessive but purifies the soul from pride and removes idols from the heart, so that missionary activity alone does not prove genuine religion unless workers show the love seen in His life and character.
In Christ this love was tender, forbearing affection for enemies and for dull disciples that no resistance, opposition or grief extinguished but that returned stronger, never failing nor discouraged. He does not look on people with sharp criticism nor withdraw love when they are blemished and ill-treat His goodness, and His mercy never fails when people sin, neglect, forget, prove ungrateful and disobey. He never grows impatient but keeps working to save, enduring wrongs far greater than the trivial grievances people must endure from one another. For this reason believers must be tenderly thoughtful toward those around them and not condemn harshly, remembering over and over what He has borne, delighting in mercy and fulfilling the law by love going out to others in deeds of sympathy and kindness. In Christians the same love must be tested so its growth may develop, overcoming little bruises and sensitive feelings and showing forth in spirit, words and deeds as a bright shining light.
The verse gives the measure of a character filled with the love of Christ and the marks and likeness of Christ to be possessed, presenting the specification of the possibilities and heights reachable in and through Jesus Christ. It is the standard of perfection in Him and through His merits that all for whom He died may attain. That character is formed by beholding Christ and being changed from glory to glory, requiring sight to be lifted from common things higher and still higher. Coming short comes from being content to look at earthly and common things rather than heavenly things. The full measure of the Father's nature and the character of the Son is not yet possessed and is known only by living experience of God, where love remains the greatest with faith and hope.
The one who stands nearest to Christ in His kingdom is the one who on earth has drunk most deeply of His self-sacrificing love. That love is humble, does not boast or lift up self, is not proud, does not seek its own, is not quickly angered, and keeps no account of evil, suspicion or irritation. It moves the disciple as it moved Christ to give all and to live and labor and sacrifice even to death for the saving of humanity.
Worthlessness Without True Love
Without this patient, kind love that does not envy, boast, or swell with pride, every other qualification is worthless, and even great acts of giving and sacrifice gain nothing. Speaking with tongues, prophesying, understanding mysteries, possessing knowledge, exercising mountain-moving faith, bestowing all goods to feed the poor, and even giving the body to martyrdom profit nothing and leave the possessor nothing when charity is lacking. Liberality is a never-to-be-neglected duty, yet offerings to God cannot atone for defects of Christian character, and good purposes, zeal, and extreme self-sacrifice amount to nothing without this pure, holy principle found only in renewed hearts. This love must be brought forth in those accepted as followers of Christ, who are known by their fruits, and its patience that bears with others and is not easily provoked is what distinguishes Christians from worldlings and makes them like Christ.
Talents, learning, and eloquence without patient, kind love are worthless and empty, as meaningless as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. To enjoy peace and love with one another, sin must be put away and harmony with God must be reached, and learning to be long-suffering and kind is the test of possessing this heavenly grace. This grace of suffering long and being kind is the fruit of the Spirit bringing joy and peace, a heavenly attribute and precious treasure to be sought and proved by self-examination, ending discord and strife when harmony with God brings harmony with one another. Obligation to Christ who died to redeem creates sacred obligation to show the same sympathy, tender compassion, and unselfish love toward others, and when Christ takes possession of the affections selfish ambition and desire for supremacy die.
Love is the real test of the Spirit's work. Joined with purity, this long-suffering, kind charity is what Christ prizes most and seeks most in those who represent Him, being sanctified knowledge that proves new birth and knowledge of God. When believers love one another as Christ loved them, His love is made perfect in them so that they dwell in God and God dwells in them. This love sums up, comprehends, and fulfills God's law by loving God supremely and neighbor as self, giving God highest honor and bringing peace on earth and goodwill to people, while coldness and lack of sympathy are not from God but from the wicked one.
Where this love is lacking, profession is worthless, showing the absence of the Spirit of Jesus and the need for true conversion and the inner work of the Spirit in the soul. Suspicion, jealousy, censuring, blame, envy, boasting, and pride reveal that lack, while the fruit growing on the Christian tree produces long-suffering patience, kindness, courtesy, forbearance, tender forgiveness, brotherly kindness, humility, and a kind, conciliating spirit with goodwill toward all and credit for the conscientiousness of brethren. Those who receive this spirit by repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, and by greater faith receive more of Christ, may indeed be called children of God and not children of the wicked one, but lack of these manifestations shows need for earnest seeking of God lest one remain a child of the wicked one. This spirit replaces selfishness naturally written on the human heart with the love of God and the image of Christ through crucified self and subdued will in purity, nobility, meekness and lowliness.
Fitness to teach is shown not by profession or discourses but by spirit and action in meekness of wisdom. To claim to believe the truth while surmising evil, being impatient and unforgiving, crediting hearsay and telling it to others without learning facts from the accused, delighting to criticize brethren, cherishing bitter envying and strife, misrepresenting others, and manifesting harsh denunciation and severe judgment in spirit, words, and deportment is to lie against the truth and deny Christ. Truth is ever pure in its working, ever kind, breathing a heavenly fragrance unmingled with selfishness, and is pure, kind, and unselfish. True fitness is shown by going to the erring in brotherly kindness, tender compassion without partiality or hypocrisy, kind forgiving courtesy, readiness to forgive, and sowing peace as peacemakers.
Character Changed by Love
When divine love rules in the heart it destroys pride and selfishness, leaving no room for envy, boasting, self-importance or conceit. It governs the impulses, subdues enmity, ennobles the affections, and refuses the pride that exalts self by making others seem inferior, becoming instead humble, forbearing and merciful in character and conduct toward others. These qualities must be cultivated to correct selfishness and govern relationships in the church.
Humility, patience and trusting submission to God's will build the strongest and noblest character, for true love is patient and kind and its humility seeks the good of others. The deepest humiliation brings the purest joy, and the purest joy springs from the deepest humiliation.
When self is dead and the life is hid with Christ in God, love keeps peace by enduring injury without resentment and acting with kindness, free from envy, boasting and pride. It does not stay alive to self to guard itself from mortification, neglect, slight, reproach, scorn or insult, and does not take neglects or slights to heart. It is deaf to reproach and blind to scorn and insult, freed from the love of self that destroys peace.
This love as a principle of action reaches beyond those who return favors or belong to one's household, extending to all people. Coming from the Spirit of God as a heavenly grace essential to true goodness and readiness for heaven, it shapes character, governs impulses, subdues enmity and ennobles the affections. It blesses others and refines the life, and following Christ's example of serving others brings true happiness in every circumstance.
The qualities of the verse appear in a life changed to become like Christ, becoming patient, kind and forbearing even amid irritation. Where this grace rules the heart, words and actions testify to having been with Jesus, showing a calm, considerate, happy temper not made irritable by sickness nor disturbed by weather or circumstances, doing good and sharing as the spontaneous outworking of a nature transformed by grace so the Father is glorified in much fruit-bearing. This heaven-born love does not depend on being appreciated or pleased, but loves others because they belong to Christ, free from rivalry, ambition and desire for recognition or human praise. When motives, words or actions are misunderstood or misrepresented it takes no offense and continues steadily, remaining thoughtful, hopeful and trusting in God's mercy and love, tenderly thoughtful toward those around, never magnifying defects but looking at the best and not the worst features of character.
Love gives health to heart, mind and body, given as instruction from the Word to relieve chronic maladies of the spiritual life that also reach the physical and mental powers, a prescription more useful than drugs, joined to loosing wicked burdens, feeding the hungry, housing the poor and covering the naked. Fervent charity is to be cultivated among believers and lived daily by encouraging peace, thinking healthful thoughts, fighting the good fight of faith with steady purpose without failing or being discouraged, having periods of rest and quietude of mind, and bringing all sunlight into life to bless others as well as self. Health of the heart strengthens health of the body, while imagining slights and imagining oneself kept from a higher position makes a self-made martyr whose unhappiness is his own fault. Love is proved in the little things that make up happiness that everyone can practice in Christlike courtesy — a kind look, a humble spirit, a contented disposition, sincere care for the welfare of others, kind words, tenderness, manners, looks and expression — giving up determination to have one's own way and stubborn selfish refusal to be happy or pleased. Kindness and amiability of temper exalt a person more than cleverness joined to a harsh disposition. Love gives patience, kindness, forbearance and love itself, which require a divine touch to receive, and these virtues make people laborers together with God, with suffering long as part of the fruit produced when faith works by love and purifies the soul, yielding together humility, patience, forbearance, long-suffering, peace, joy and willing obedience.
Love in Speech and Unity
Love in the heart governs the tongue to gentle, courteous, refined and honest speech that Christ can approve, with patience and kindness in words and without harshness, malice, envy, boasting, pride, unseemly conduct, provocation, or evil thinking. Where this love rules, evil thoughts are not cherished, passion is not given loose rein, the temper is not easily disturbed or easily angered, but still hopes and still endures, because the person is yoked with Christ and held by the restraining power of His Spirit. It is tender-hearted, compassionate, thoughtful of others, never harsh, impolite, or wounding, and to speak in a harsh, discourteous way that wounds feelings and then justify it as plain speaking is a wicked, cruel trait to be ashamed of and firmly rebuked, born of Satan and not akin to heaven. Boldness in preaching Christ is not harshness but tenderness and courtesy, and a cold, unfeeling nature must be aroused by divine grace or it cannot commend the truth, being respected and feared but seldom loved. The pattern is firmness as a rock in defense of truth joined with affectionate gentleness as a child among friends, the soul linked to brethren in sympathy that breaks at their grief, severe and stern with holy indignation only in rebuke of sin, especially in those who dishonor Christian profession, in accordance with the life of Christ.
This love is courtesy, one of the graces of the Spirit and an attribute of heaven, and its description beginning with patience and kindness free from envy, boasting and pride is the most valuable treatise on etiquette ever penned, to be fixed permanently in the memory of every human being young and old as the standard for loving one another. It is proof of having the Spirit of Christ, without which no one can be a Christian, making character holy, manners pleasing, taste refined and judgment sanctified. It is the character of angels, who never lose temper and are never envious or selfish, from whose lips no harsh or unkind word comes, and those who are to live with angels must share it. It is proved not by splendid talents but in faithful daily duties and the little things that make up happiness, which everyone can practice: a kind look, a humble spirit, a contented disposition, sincere care for the welfare of others, giving up determination to have one's own way and stubborn selfish refusal to be happy or pleased. Health of heart strengthens health of body, kindness and amiability of temper exalt more than cleverness joined to a harsh disposition, while imagining slights and imagining oneself kept from a higher position makes a self-made martyr whose unhappiness is his own fault.
Failure to understand and live this brotherly affection and Christlike love causes troubles between brethren, discord, strife, and an unhealthy condition of the church. Where it is lacking, self-love and self-esteem lead professed Christians to measure themselves by themselves and to assume their surmisings and suspicions about others are correct, and that suspicious judging of one another produces the discord. The instruction is to be believed and obeyed, requiring those who believe the truth not to separate into factions or live apart from Christ in departure from the Word, because division bears a false witness that fails to testify to the power of the truth.
Instead believers are to speak good, helping words that strengthen brethren rather than standing afar off to criticize and condemn, to lay aside self-confidence that stands apart, to unite understandingly and intelligently in service as members of one body, and to jealously guard one another's interests even when mistakes are made. This love is patient and kind, free from envy, self-display, pride, self-seeking, jealousy, fault-finding, dissension and rivalry, and marked by unselfishness, gentleness, endurance, sympathy and unity of purpose in saving souls, providing a measure for examining and correcting one's spirit toward others. Among united workers it means bearing patiently with those of less experience, taking them alongside and educating them how to work, refusing to make a fixed groove for brethren or dictate how every other worker must labor, never closing the heart's door by sharp words and unkind criticism, but letting the love of God rule in the heart and be communicated to fellow workers, and receiving help through whatever channel God sends it while constantly learning and advancing.
This same charity restores one overtaken in fault with tender compassion, forbearance, forgiveness and the sympathy of Jesus, rather than with censure, reproach, oppression, or a crushing, unfeeling weight without tenderness, which is an offense to God. It replaces jealousy and intolerance with a tender, gentle spirit that can help the erring and cover many sins, not magnifying a mistake into an unpardonable offense nor exposing wrongs unless truly necessary. It forbids telling others, surmising, circulating reports, crediting hearsay, listening to accusation, and doing the cruel work of condemnation, and requires going directly, privately, tenderly and respectfully to the one in error as one would wish to be treated, telling the mistake and danger and giving opportunity to explain and be saved, since all share the same sinful nature, all are liable to mistake, none is perfect or righteous, and Christ died to forgive and save rather than condemn. When falsely accused it remains calm, listens fully, and leaves vindication to God, while fitness to teach is shown not by profession or discourses but by spirit and action in meekness of wisdom, sowing peace as peacemakers with kind forgiving courtesy and readiness to forgive without partiality or hypocrisy.
Love thinks no evil, being frank and free from suspicion, readiness to blame and accuse, and refusal to believe evil and false reports, for a blaming, accusing spirit is offensive to God and leaves hearts not right with Him. It changes accusing and tearing down into thinking well and speaking well of brethren and sisters, believing and hoping all that is pure and good and of good report, and attributing the good motives one desires for oneself. It calls for a yielding, forbearing disposition rather than clinging selfishly to one's own opinions and ways, softening and subduing the heart, for such love attracts and wins while a watchful, suspicious spirit chills and repels and undermines power to do good, leaving God's people strengthless and bringing a burdened condition upon His institutions. These qualities are learned as the soul is stayed on God and imbued with His Spirit.
Love in Daily Relationships
The chapter is the most valuable treatise on courtesy ever given, defining true politeness as patient, kind love free from envy, boasting and pride, and its words are to be fixed permanently in the memory of every person young and old as the standard for loving one another. It is to be committed to mind and heart, studied and digested and not ignored, read every day to obtain comfort and strength and to take its lesson home to the heart. Together with chapter 12 it unites church members understandingly and intelligently as members composing one body, showing the relation they should sustain to one another, with walking humbly with God in obedience as the one grand necessity. It is to be studied and applied for continual humbling of self and for taking self critically in hand, each person denying self and bearing the cross of self-denial, self-humiliation and self-sacrifice rather than laying it on another to carry. It should have more weight and deeper influence, holding tried and tested believers shut in with God so the wicked one has no power over them, and its call to return to patient, kind, unselfish, gentle, enduring love is the measure for examining and correcting one's spirit toward others.
In marriage true love is a pure, holy plant of heavenly origin, neither unreasonable nor blind, that takes God into all its plans and lives in perfect harmony with His Spirit. It needs culture and must be tested before marriage, proving patient with mistakes, overlooking many faults and refusing to discern them for criticism, and kind in respect, love, kindness and attention that lasts after novelty is over, never critical, overbearing or dictatorial. Its possession is seen in all deportment through modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality and religion in every step toward marriage, the opposite of headstrong, rash, unreasonable natural passion that defies restraint, idolizes its object and grows so absorbed as to lose interest in prayer and worship. A lover's possession of it may be judged by his mother, by the stamp of her character and whether he recognizes obligation to her and is mindful of her wishes and happiness, for one who does not respect and honor his mother will not manifest patient, kind love toward his wife. After marriage it means steady courtesy and thoughtful care, considering the spouse's happiness and choosing the spouse's company rather than pursuing own pleasure while leaving the spouse lonely, for occasional affection without continuing kindness and regard is not enough. Spouses must not try to control or compel one another but treat each other with patience, forbearance, consideration and courtesy belonging to the new life in Christ, overcoming selfishness to care for each other, and a husband in particular must exercise tender, pitiful kindness toward his wife, bearing with her mistakes with the same pity and patience shown toward his own many errors and sins. A hardhearted, unsympathetic, faultfinding spirit proves an unconverted heart that cannot enter heaven but must be entirely renewed, dying to self to become new in Christ.
In the home love is shown in looks, words and actions by cultivating a cheerful, courteous, kindly, forbearing spirit. It shapes daily life especially in treatment of family through consideration, tenderness, thoughtfulness and unselfish care, revealing Christ and making a person a blessing and saving influence to others. Toward children this long-suffering kind love must be brought into the inner sanctuary of the soul with the meekness and gentleness of Christ, guarding lips against every word of faultfinding and instructing kindly instead. Such labor lays upon the foundation gold, silver and precious stones valuable and enduring for eternity rather than perishable wood, hay and stubble that will be burned.
Those who claim to serve God, including responsible men in publishing institutions, ministers in Christ's stead, those connected with institutions and those in responsible positions, are called to humility and to become learners in Christ's school so the softening, subduing power of God can come into their lives and the Spirit can work with them. Without charity tongues, prophecy, knowledge, faith, almsgiving and sacrifice profit nothing, so workers must be united in sympathy and kindness, manifest tender compassion and the sympathy of Jesus for those out of the way and in sins of ignorance, put away selfish consideration, cultivate patience, brotherly kindness and forbearance, and be subdued, converted and sanctified by obedience to the truth, restoring instead of oppressing, injuring, bruising, hurting and condemning. The tenderness of Christ must control dealing with one another in the work, for self seeking supremacy is the great obstruction, loving to vaunt itself, pressing its own will while claiming it is God's will, speaking and acting like a sinner while professing to be Christian, unable to discern what spirit controls it, destroying love and confidence among fellow laborers and making room for Satan's attributes where Christ's should be. Those in Christ's service must be melted, subdued and transformed by grace to represent Christ in life and character by loving one another as He loved, putting on mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, forbearance and forgiveness even as Christ forgave, with charity as the bond of perfectness. Conference leaders are to give tender sympathy and care not only to those specially under guardianship but to others as well, manifesting Christlike politeness, respect and deference and dealing with others as purchased by Christ's blood, for loyalty to Christ demands work done with charity, and unless His precious love is brought into the life a person is not abiding in Him, while an oppressive, unfeeling spirit without compassion or tenderness is an offense to God and from Satan.
Christlike charity must be brought into daily experience at all times and under all circumstances, kept alive by pure, strong, genuine faith in Christ and rooted in broad belief embracing the whole plan of salvation in its purpose of love and mercy. It requires crucifying self and surrendering self to God, growing into stronger love and interest for one another and for Christ that is patient and kind, free from self-confidence, criticism, envy, enmity, petty differences, indifference and coldness. Fervent charity is to be cultivated among believers and lived daily by encouraging peace, thinking healthful thoughts, fighting the good fight of faith with steady purpose without failing or discouragement, having periods of rest and quietude of mind, and bringing all sunlight into life to bless others as well as self. Love for Christ and for one another must replace enmity, petty differences and coldness with steady Christlike affection expressed in words that bless and strengthen others.
The chapter expresses the obedience of those who love God and keep His commandments, put into practice in the life of every true believer. It is a living sermon to be printed and spread wherever possible like blessed leaves of the tree of life. It is heaven's rule to be brought into daily practice in the love Christ commands to love one another as He loved, meaning patient endurance and kindness without envy, boasting or pride, continuing in charity that does not misbehave, seeks no self, is not provoked, thinks no evil, rejects iniquity, rejoices in truth, and bears, believes, hopes and endures all things. In that spirit one overtaken in fault is to be restored by going directly to the erring one tenderly and respectfully as one would wish to be treated instead of telling others and surmising about him. Professed Christians who live apart from Christ and fail to practice the truth are departing from the Word. This love comes from God's Spirit and as a principle of action shapes character, governs impulses, subdues enmity and ennobles affections, reaching beyond those who return favors or belong to one's household to all people, blessing others, refining life, and bringing true happiness in every circumstance through serving as Christ served. Patient, kind charity joined with purity is what Christ prizes most in His representatives, being sanctified knowledge proving new birth and knowledge of God, and when believers love as He loved His love is perfected in them so they dwell in God and He in them, summing up and fulfilling the law by loving God supremely and neighbor as self, giving God highest honor and bringing peace and goodwill, while coldness and lack of sympathy are not from God but from the wicked one. Yielding the will, being forbearing and loving one another brings happiness and prevents distress.
True love is sanctified affection like Christ's toward God and people, shown in patient endurance under injury and provocation without resentment, in active kindness in words and deeds, and in freedom from envy, boasting, pride and self-seeking. It is heaven-born from God, living only where Christ reigns, for the unconverted heart cannot originate it. Christ embodied it without exception in a proud and selfish world, with tender forbearance toward enemies and dull disciples that no opposition extinguished. Without it even tongues, prophecy, knowledge, mountain-moving faith, lavish giving and martyrdom profit nothing and leave a person nothing. It must be deliberately cultivated and put into active exercise, and where it rules it destroys pride and selfishness, controls speech to gentleness, unites believers and restores the erring with compassion.
Words Defining True Love
Charity is sanctified, Christlike love to God and man that every child of God must cherish, expressed as brotherly affection and lived out in obedience in the life of every true believer. It is fruit growing on the Christian tree and the Bible standard to reach, producing long-suffering patience, kindness, courtesy, forbearance, tender forgiveness, brotherly kindness, humility, and a kind conciliating spirit with good will toward all men and credit for the conscientiousness of brethren. It is of heavenly origin, the love of Christ that must be in the soul, tested so its growth may develop until it overcomes little bruises and sensitive feelings and shows forth in spirit, words and deeds as a bright shining light. Where this love is lacking profession is worthless, for suspicion, jealousy, censuring, blame, envy, boasting and pride show absence of the Spirit of Jesus and need for true conversion and the inner work of the Spirit of God in the soul. Failure to understand and live it causes troubles between brethren, discord, strife and an unhealthy condition of the church, as self-love and self-esteem lead professed Christians to measure themselves by themselves and to assume their surmisings and suspicions about others are correct.
To suffer long is patient, long-suffering endurance that bears injury, provocation, faults and being crossed without resentment, impatience, faultfinding or easily provoked temper, continuing to do good. It means patience and kindness in words, without cherishing evil thoughts, without temper easily disturbed and without giving passion loose rein, because the one yoked with Christ is held by the restraining power of His Spirit. Mere good impulses uncontrolled by reason and principle are a deception and are not this love, and to go contrary to the verse leaves the senses under a spell so that a person cannot see, hear or understand aright. Then the worst construction is put on words and actions, motives are judged, thought and memory come under Satan's control, little things are magnified, words and little actions are interpreted as meant to injure, and the good fades from memory. This patience belongs to the measure of a character filled with the love of Christ and the marks and likeness of Christ, the specification of the possibilities and heights reachable in and through Jesus Christ and the standard of perfection in Him and through His merits that all for whom He died may attain.
Falling short comes from being content to look at earthly and common things rather than heavenly things, while beholding Christ changes character from glory to glory and requires lifting sight higher and still higher. God's workers, ministers in Christ's stead, those connected with institutions and those in responsible positions must therefore be united in sympathy and kindness, manifest tender compassion and the sympathy of Jesus for those out of the way and committing sins of ignorance, put away every selfish consideration, and cultivate patience, brotherly kindness and forbearance. They must be subdued, converted and sanctified by obedience to the truth, and instead of oppressing, injuring, bruising, hurting and condemning, must restore, for the oppressive unfeeling spirit without compassion or tenderness is an offense to God and comes from Satan. To claim truth while surmising evil, being impatient and unforgiving, crediting hearsay, telling it to others without learning facts from the accused, delighting to criticize brethren, cherishing bitter envying and strife, and harsh denunciation and severe judgment is to lie against the truth and deny Christ, for truth is pure, kind and unselfish. Fitness to teach is shown not by profession or discourses but by spirit and action in meekness of wisdom, going to the erring in brotherly kindness and tender compassion without partiality or hypocrisy, with kind forgiving courtesy, readiness to forgive, and sowing peace as peacemakers.
To be kind is active kindness, courtesy, tenderness and compassion shown in words, looks, manners and deeds, including gentle honest speech and sincere care in little daily duties. It begins the most valuable treatise on etiquette ever penned, given by Christ with the Holy Spirit speaking through Paul, defining true politeness as patient and kind love without envy, boasting or pride, whose words should be fixed permanently in the memory of every human being young and old as the standard for loving one another. This love is tender-hearted, compassionate, refined and courteous, patient and kind, not easily angered, still hoping and still enduring, proving the presence of the Spirit of Christ, making character holy, manners pleasing, words honest, taste refined and judgment sanctified. It is the character of angels, who never lose temper and are never envious or selfish and from whose lips no harsh or unkind word comes, and those who are to live with angels must share it. It is also a divine agency with wonderful power for healing that transforms life and makes earth a likeness and foretaste of heaven, so simply taught that even little children can understand it, and when older ones learn the simplicity and gentleness and tender love of the Saviour they can touch the hearts of little ones and teach them love's ministry of healing.
Love measured not by greatness or conspicuousness of work but by help afforded calls nothing inferior that needs to be done, thinks of doing works of kindness and finds joy in doing good and blessing others even in smallest acts of Christian duty that many despise as menial or shameful. Jesus lived this by condescending to commonplace duties in home life as well as public life, laboring as earnestly in lesser works as in larger ones, cheerfully doing what He saw another must do if He did not, gathering litter and shavings and putting them in the right place, never overlooking simple obscure work as too small for notice. To envy not is freedom from envy, jealousy, rivalry, ambition, self-seeking and desire for recognition or human praise, showing that genuine love is not self-seeking or self-exalting. It loves others because they belong to Christ whether appreciated, pleased or respected or not, and when motives, words or actions are misunderstood or misrepresented it takes no offense but continues steadily, thoughtful, hopeful and trusting in God's mercy and love. When workers share Christ's love and mission, jealousy, fault-finding, envy, dissension and rivalry give way to sympathy and unity in purpose, and the work of saving souls helps them grow in piety and purity.
Divine love deliberately cultivated and expressed through patience and kindness develops forbearance, generosity and concern for others, keeping a person approachable and warm toward their interests, with self-denial and self-control under provocation. It does not presume evil motives in others but grieves when sin is found among Christ's disciples. To vaunt not itself and to be not puffed up is freedom from boasting, self-display, pride, conceit, self-exaltation and seeking personal ease, showing love is humble and self-sacrificing, not quickly angered and keeping no account of evil. Love's virtues surpass spiritual gifts and make those gifts worthless when love is absent. Divine love ruling in the heart destroys pride and selfishness, leaving no envy, boasting or conceit, and its humility produces the purest joy, building the strongest and noblest character on patience and love expressed in trusting submission to the will of God.
This humble love never prompts a person to boast or exalt himself, to act in rash display, or to become overbearing, fault-finding or dictatorial. The heart where love reigns is guided to gentle, courteous, compassionate conduct toward others whether they suit personal fancy or not and whether they give respect or ill treatment. Love is an active principle that keeps the good of others continually in view and restrains inconsiderate actions lest the object of winning souls to Christ be failed, seeking not its own and not prompting seeking of personal ease and indulgence of self, since respect rendered to self hinders growth of love. The one who stands nearest to Christ in His kingdom is the one who on earth has drunk most deeply of His self-sacrificing love, moved as He was to give all and to live and labor and sacrifice even to death for the saving of humanity. It purifies the soul from pride and removes idols from the heart, for missionary activity alone does not prove genuine religion unless workers show the love seen in Christ's life and character.
Origin and Endurance of Love
The love described here is heaven-born, of God and of heavenly origin, coming from His Spirit and living and flourishing only where Christ reigns, and the unconverted heart cannot originate it. It is sanctified, Christlike love that must become the prevailing sentiment of the heart in order to labor together with God, because He is love, and without it all other excellent qualifications are worthless. As a principle of action it shapes character, governs impulses, subdues enmity and ennobles the affections, reaching beyond those who return favors or belong to one's household to extend to all people.
This love is precious to God and a divine agency with wonderful power for healing. When learned it endows life with healing power, transforms the life, and makes earth a likeness and foretaste of heaven. It can be taught so simply that even little children can understand it, and when older ones learn the simplicity and gentleness and tender love of the Saviour they can touch the hearts of little ones and teach them its ministry of healing.
It endures forever as a lasting Christian grace suited to the immortal condition, unlike spiritual gifts that will no longer be needed when perfection comes. Nourished by heaven it is an evergreen, immortal and eternal plant, watered continually by the dews of heaven, its branches not decaying and its leaves not withering, bearing mildness, gentleness, forbearance, patience under provocation, bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. Love is power, involving intellectual and moral strength whose excellence is efficiency to do good and nothing else but good. God measures work by how much love is put into it rather than the amount done, so even the smallest work done in pure love is wholly fruitful.
Love prevails and gains the victory where argument and authority are powerless. It is diffusive in nature and quiet in operation, working not for profit or reward yet great gain follows every labor of love, strong and mighty to overcome great evils, melting and transforming in influence, taking hold of sinful lives and affecting hearts when every other means has failed. Wherever intellect, authority or force is used without manifest love, the affections and will of those sought become defensive and repelling and resistance grows stronger. It can accomplish what arguments and many words cannot, and is the best way to reform character and guide conduct, not dwelling on small mistakes or quickly marking small faults.
This love cannot live without action and must be deliberately cultivated, nourished, cherished and put into active daily exercise. Every loving act increases, strengthens and extends it. It is a tender plant of heavenly origin that must be carefully cherished and cultivated in order to grow, developing as every fellow man is seen as purchased by Christ's blood and as love for God and the truth grows. So cultivated it is expressed through patience and kindness, freedom from envy and jealousy, and humility rather than self-exaltation, developing forbearance, generosity and concern for others, self-denial and self-control under provocation, keeping a person approachable and warm toward the interests of others.
Christ's Example and Standard
The patience, kindness, and freedom from envy, boasting and pride described here were embodied without exception in the entire life of Christ, even amid a world filled with pride and selfishness. In Him this charity was complete, extending to freedom from unseemly conduct, self-seeking, provocation, evil thinking and delight in wrong, with rejoicing in truth and bearing, believing, hoping and enduring all things. These qualities are the fruits of God's grace that every follower will manifest in life and reveal in character, replacing the selfishness naturally written on the human heart with divine love and Christ's image through crucified self and subdued will in purity, nobility, meekness and lowliness. They are received by repentance and faith in Jesus, with greater faith receiving more of Christ, so that those who receive this spirit may be called children of God, while lack of these manifestations shows need for earnest seeking lest one remain a child of the wicked one. This love is not selfish or possessive but purifies the soul from pride and removes idols from the heart, so that missionary activity alone does not prove genuine religion unless workers show the love seen in His life and character.
In Christ this love was tender, forbearing affection for enemies and for dull disciples that no resistance, opposition or grief extinguished but that returned stronger, never failing nor discouraged. He does not look on people with sharp criticism nor withdraw love when they are blemished and ill-treat His goodness, and His mercy never fails when people sin, neglect, forget, prove ungrateful and disobey. He never grows impatient but keeps working to save, enduring wrongs far greater than the trivial grievances people must endure from one another. For this reason believers must be tenderly thoughtful toward those around them and not condemn harshly, remembering over and over what He has borne, delighting in mercy and fulfilling the law by love going out to others in deeds of sympathy and kindness. In Christians the same love must be tested so its growth may develop, overcoming little bruises and sensitive feelings and showing forth in spirit, words and deeds as a bright shining light.
The verse gives the measure of a character filled with the love of Christ and the marks and likeness of Christ to be possessed, presenting the specification of the possibilities and heights reachable in and through Jesus Christ. It is the standard of perfection in Him and through His merits that all for whom He died may attain. That character is formed by beholding Christ and being changed from glory to glory, requiring sight to be lifted from common things higher and still higher. Coming short comes from being content to look at earthly and common things rather than heavenly things. The full measure of the Father's nature and the character of the Son is not yet possessed and is known only by living experience of God, where love remains the greatest with faith and hope.
The one who stands nearest to Christ in His kingdom is the one who on earth has drunk most deeply of His self-sacrificing love. That love is humble, does not boast or lift up self, is not proud, does not seek its own, is not quickly angered, and keeps no account of evil, suspicion or irritation. It moves the disciple as it moved Christ to give all and to live and labor and sacrifice even to death for the saving of humanity.
Worthlessness Without True Love
Without this patient, kind love that does not envy, boast, or swell with pride, every other qualification is worthless, and even great acts of giving and sacrifice gain nothing. Speaking with tongues, prophesying, understanding mysteries, possessing knowledge, exercising mountain-moving faith, bestowing all goods to feed the poor, and even giving the body to martyrdom profit nothing and leave the possessor nothing when charity is lacking. Liberality is a never-to-be-neglected duty, yet offerings to God cannot atone for defects of Christian character, and good purposes, zeal, and extreme self-sacrifice amount to nothing without this pure, holy principle found only in renewed hearts. This love must be brought forth in those accepted as followers of Christ, who are known by their fruits, and its patience that bears with others and is not easily provoked is what distinguishes Christians from worldlings and makes them like Christ.
Talents, learning, and eloquence without patient, kind love are worthless and empty, as meaningless as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. To enjoy peace and love with one another, sin must be put away and harmony with God must be reached, and learning to be long-suffering and kind is the test of possessing this heavenly grace. This grace of suffering long and being kind is the fruit of the Spirit bringing joy and peace, a heavenly attribute and precious treasure to be sought and proved by self-examination, ending discord and strife when harmony with God brings harmony with one another. Obligation to Christ who died to redeem creates sacred obligation to show the same sympathy, tender compassion, and unselfish love toward others, and when Christ takes possession of the affections selfish ambition and desire for supremacy die.
Love is the real test of the Spirit's work. Joined with purity, this long-suffering, kind charity is what Christ prizes most and seeks most in those who represent Him, being sanctified knowledge that proves new birth and knowledge of God. When believers love one another as Christ loved them, His love is made perfect in them so that they dwell in God and God dwells in them. This love sums up, comprehends, and fulfills God's law by loving God supremely and neighbor as self, giving God highest honor and bringing peace on earth and goodwill to people, while coldness and lack of sympathy are not from God but from the wicked one.
Where this love is lacking, profession is worthless, showing the absence of the Spirit of Jesus and the need for true conversion and the inner work of the Spirit in the soul. Suspicion, jealousy, censuring, blame, envy, boasting, and pride reveal that lack, while the fruit growing on the Christian tree produces long-suffering patience, kindness, courtesy, forbearance, tender forgiveness, brotherly kindness, humility, and a kind, conciliating spirit with goodwill toward all and credit for the conscientiousness of brethren. Those who receive this spirit by repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, and by greater faith receive more of Christ, may indeed be called children of God and not children of the wicked one, but lack of these manifestations shows need for earnest seeking of God lest one remain a child of the wicked one. This spirit replaces selfishness naturally written on the human heart with the love of God and the image of Christ through crucified self and subdued will in purity, nobility, meekness and lowliness.
Fitness to teach is shown not by profession or discourses but by spirit and action in meekness of wisdom. To claim to believe the truth while surmising evil, being impatient and unforgiving, crediting hearsay and telling it to others without learning facts from the accused, delighting to criticize brethren, cherishing bitter envying and strife, misrepresenting others, and manifesting harsh denunciation and severe judgment in spirit, words, and deportment is to lie against the truth and deny Christ. Truth is ever pure in its working, ever kind, breathing a heavenly fragrance unmingled with selfishness, and is pure, kind, and unselfish. True fitness is shown by going to the erring in brotherly kindness, tender compassion without partiality or hypocrisy, kind forgiving courtesy, readiness to forgive, and sowing peace as peacemakers.
Character Changed by Love
When divine love rules in the heart it destroys pride and selfishness, leaving no room for envy, boasting, self-importance or conceit. It governs the impulses, subdues enmity, ennobles the affections, and refuses the pride that exalts self by making others seem inferior, becoming instead humble, forbearing and merciful in character and conduct toward others. These qualities must be cultivated to correct selfishness and govern relationships in the church.
Humility, patience and trusting submission to God's will build the strongest and noblest character, for true love is patient and kind and its humility seeks the good of others. The deepest humiliation brings the purest joy, and the purest joy springs from the deepest humiliation.
When self is dead and the life is hid with Christ in God, love keeps peace by enduring injury without resentment and acting with kindness, free from envy, boasting and pride. It does not stay alive to self to guard itself from mortification, neglect, slight, reproach, scorn or insult, and does not take neglects or slights to heart. It is deaf to reproach and blind to scorn and insult, freed from the love of self that destroys peace.
This love as a principle of action reaches beyond those who return favors or belong to one's household, extending to all people. Coming from the Spirit of God as a heavenly grace essential to true goodness and readiness for heaven, it shapes character, governs impulses, subdues enmity and ennobles the affections. It blesses others and refines the life, and following Christ's example of serving others brings true happiness in every circumstance.
The qualities of the verse appear in a life changed to become like Christ, becoming patient, kind and forbearing even amid irritation. Where this grace rules the heart, words and actions testify to having been with Jesus, showing a calm, considerate, happy temper not made irritable by sickness nor disturbed by weather or circumstances, doing good and sharing as the spontaneous outworking of a nature transformed by grace so the Father is glorified in much fruit-bearing. This heaven-born love does not depend on being appreciated or pleased, but loves others because they belong to Christ, free from rivalry, ambition and desire for recognition or human praise. When motives, words or actions are misunderstood or misrepresented it takes no offense and continues steadily, remaining thoughtful, hopeful and trusting in God's mercy and love, tenderly thoughtful toward those around, never magnifying defects but looking at the best and not the worst features of character.
Love gives health to heart, mind and body, given as instruction from the Word to relieve chronic maladies of the spiritual life that also reach the physical and mental powers, a prescription more useful than drugs, joined to loosing wicked burdens, feeding the hungry, housing the poor and covering the naked. Fervent charity is to be cultivated among believers and lived daily by encouraging peace, thinking healthful thoughts, fighting the good fight of faith with steady purpose without failing or being discouraged, having periods of rest and quietude of mind, and bringing all sunlight into life to bless others as well as self. Health of the heart strengthens health of the body, while imagining slights and imagining oneself kept from a higher position makes a self-made martyr whose unhappiness is his own fault. Love is proved in the little things that make up happiness that everyone can practice in Christlike courtesy — a kind look, a humble spirit, a contented disposition, sincere care for the welfare of others, kind words, tenderness, manners, looks and expression — giving up determination to have one's own way and stubborn selfish refusal to be happy or pleased. Kindness and amiability of temper exalt a person more than cleverness joined to a harsh disposition. Love gives patience, kindness, forbearance and love itself, which require a divine touch to receive, and these virtues make people laborers together with God, with suffering long as part of the fruit produced when faith works by love and purifies the soul, yielding together humility, patience, forbearance, long-suffering, peace, joy and willing obedience.
Love in Speech and Unity
Love in the heart governs the tongue to gentle, courteous, refined and honest speech that Christ can approve, with patience and kindness in words and without harshness, malice, envy, boasting, pride, unseemly conduct, provocation, or evil thinking. Where this love rules, evil thoughts are not cherished, passion is not given loose rein, the temper is not easily disturbed or easily angered, but still hopes and still endures, because the person is yoked with Christ and held by the restraining power of His Spirit. It is tender-hearted, compassionate, thoughtful of others, never harsh, impolite, or wounding, and to speak in a harsh, discourteous way that wounds feelings and then justify it as plain speaking is a wicked, cruel trait to be ashamed of and firmly rebuked, born of Satan and not akin to heaven. Boldness in preaching Christ is not harshness but tenderness and courtesy, and a cold, unfeeling nature must be aroused by divine grace or it cannot commend the truth, being respected and feared but seldom loved. The pattern is firmness as a rock in defense of truth joined with affectionate gentleness as a child among friends, the soul linked to brethren in sympathy that breaks at their grief, severe and stern with holy indignation only in rebuke of sin, especially in those who dishonor Christian profession, in accordance with the life of Christ.
This love is courtesy, one of the graces of the Spirit and an attribute of heaven, and its description beginning with patience and kindness free from envy, boasting and pride is the most valuable treatise on etiquette ever penned, to be fixed permanently in the memory of every human being young and old as the standard for loving one another. It is proof of having the Spirit of Christ, without which no one can be a Christian, making character holy, manners pleasing, taste refined and judgment sanctified. It is the character of angels, who never lose temper and are never envious or selfish, from whose lips no harsh or unkind word comes, and those who are to live with angels must share it. It is proved not by splendid talents but in faithful daily duties and the little things that make up happiness, which everyone can practice: a kind look, a humble spirit, a contented disposition, sincere care for the welfare of others, giving up determination to have one's own way and stubborn selfish refusal to be happy or pleased. Health of heart strengthens health of body, kindness and amiability of temper exalt more than cleverness joined to a harsh disposition, while imagining slights and imagining oneself kept from a higher position makes a self-made martyr whose unhappiness is his own fault.
Failure to understand and live this brotherly affection and Christlike love causes troubles between brethren, discord, strife, and an unhealthy condition of the church. Where it is lacking, self-love and self-esteem lead professed Christians to measure themselves by themselves and to assume their surmisings and suspicions about others are correct, and that suspicious judging of one another produces the discord. The instruction is to be believed and obeyed, requiring those who believe the truth not to separate into factions or live apart from Christ in departure from the Word, because division bears a false witness that fails to testify to the power of the truth.
Instead believers are to speak good, helping words that strengthen brethren rather than standing afar off to criticize and condemn, to lay aside self-confidence that stands apart, to unite understandingly and intelligently in service as members of one body, and to jealously guard one another's interests even when mistakes are made. This love is patient and kind, free from envy, self-display, pride, self-seeking, jealousy, fault-finding, dissension and rivalry, and marked by unselfishness, gentleness, endurance, sympathy and unity of purpose in saving souls, providing a measure for examining and correcting one's spirit toward others. Among united workers it means bearing patiently with those of less experience, taking them alongside and educating them how to work, refusing to make a fixed groove for brethren or dictate how every other worker must labor, never closing the heart's door by sharp words and unkind criticism, but letting the love of God rule in the heart and be communicated to fellow workers, and receiving help through whatever channel God sends it while constantly learning and advancing.
This same charity restores one overtaken in fault with tender compassion, forbearance, forgiveness and the sympathy of Jesus, rather than with censure, reproach, oppression, or a crushing, unfeeling weight without tenderness, which is an offense to God. It replaces jealousy and intolerance with a tender, gentle spirit that can help the erring and cover many sins, not magnifying a mistake into an unpardonable offense nor exposing wrongs unless truly necessary. It forbids telling others, surmising, circulating reports, crediting hearsay, listening to accusation, and doing the cruel work of condemnation, and requires going directly, privately, tenderly and respectfully to the one in error as one would wish to be treated, telling the mistake and danger and giving opportunity to explain and be saved, since all share the same sinful nature, all are liable to mistake, none is perfect or righteous, and Christ died to forgive and save rather than condemn. When falsely accused it remains calm, listens fully, and leaves vindication to God, while fitness to teach is shown not by profession or discourses but by spirit and action in meekness of wisdom, sowing peace as peacemakers with kind forgiving courtesy and readiness to forgive without partiality or hypocrisy.
Love thinks no evil, being frank and free from suspicion, readiness to blame and accuse, and refusal to believe evil and false reports, for a blaming, accusing spirit is offensive to God and leaves hearts not right with Him. It changes accusing and tearing down into thinking well and speaking well of brethren and sisters, believing and hoping all that is pure and good and of good report, and attributing the good motives one desires for oneself. It calls for a yielding, forbearing disposition rather than clinging selfishly to one's own opinions and ways, softening and subduing the heart, for such love attracts and wins while a watchful, suspicious spirit chills and repels and undermines power to do good, leaving God's people strengthless and bringing a burdened condition upon His institutions. These qualities are learned as the soul is stayed on God and imbued with His Spirit.
Love in Daily Relationships
The chapter is the most valuable treatise on courtesy ever given, defining true politeness as patient, kind love free from envy, boasting and pride, and its words are to be fixed permanently in the memory of every person young and old as the standard for loving one another. It is to be committed to mind and heart, studied and digested and not ignored, read every day to obtain comfort and strength and to take its lesson home to the heart. Together with chapter 12 it unites church members understandingly and intelligently as members composing one body, showing the relation they should sustain to one another, with walking humbly with God in obedience as the one grand necessity. It is to be studied and applied for continual humbling of self and for taking self critically in hand, each person denying self and bearing the cross of self-denial, self-humiliation and self-sacrifice rather than laying it on another to carry. It should have more weight and deeper influence, holding tried and tested believers shut in with God so the wicked one has no power over them, and its call to return to patient, kind, unselfish, gentle, enduring love is the measure for examining and correcting one's spirit toward others.
In marriage true love is a pure, holy plant of heavenly origin, neither unreasonable nor blind, that takes God into all its plans and lives in perfect harmony with His Spirit. It needs culture and must be tested before marriage, proving patient with mistakes, overlooking many faults and refusing to discern them for criticism, and kind in respect, love, kindness and attention that lasts after novelty is over, never critical, overbearing or dictatorial. Its possession is seen in all deportment through modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality and religion in every step toward marriage, the opposite of headstrong, rash, unreasonable natural passion that defies restraint, idolizes its object and grows so absorbed as to lose interest in prayer and worship. A lover's possession of it may be judged by his mother, by the stamp of her character and whether he recognizes obligation to her and is mindful of her wishes and happiness, for one who does not respect and honor his mother will not manifest patient, kind love toward his wife. After marriage it means steady courtesy and thoughtful care, considering the spouse's happiness and choosing the spouse's company rather than pursuing own pleasure while leaving the spouse lonely, for occasional affection without continuing kindness and regard is not enough. Spouses must not try to control or compel one another but treat each other with patience, forbearance, consideration and courtesy belonging to the new life in Christ, overcoming selfishness to care for each other, and a husband in particular must exercise tender, pitiful kindness toward his wife, bearing with her mistakes with the same pity and patience shown toward his own many errors and sins. A hardhearted, unsympathetic, faultfinding spirit proves an unconverted heart that cannot enter heaven but must be entirely renewed, dying to self to become new in Christ.
In the home love is shown in looks, words and actions by cultivating a cheerful, courteous, kindly, forbearing spirit. It shapes daily life especially in treatment of family through consideration, tenderness, thoughtfulness and unselfish care, revealing Christ and making a person a blessing and saving influence to others. Toward children this long-suffering kind love must be brought into the inner sanctuary of the soul with the meekness and gentleness of Christ, guarding lips against every word of faultfinding and instructing kindly instead. Such labor lays upon the foundation gold, silver and precious stones valuable and enduring for eternity rather than perishable wood, hay and stubble that will be burned.
Those who claim to serve God, including responsible men in publishing institutions, ministers in Christ's stead, those connected with institutions and those in responsible positions, are called to humility and to become learners in Christ's school so the softening, subduing power of God can come into their lives and the Spirit can work with them. Without charity tongues, prophecy, knowledge, faith, almsgiving and sacrifice profit nothing, so workers must be united in sympathy and kindness, manifest tender compassion and the sympathy of Jesus for those out of the way and in sins of ignorance, put away selfish consideration, cultivate patience, brotherly kindness and forbearance, and be subdued, converted and sanctified by obedience to the truth, restoring instead of oppressing, injuring, bruising, hurting and condemning. The tenderness of Christ must control dealing with one another in the work, for self seeking supremacy is the great obstruction, loving to vaunt itself, pressing its own will while claiming it is God's will, speaking and acting like a sinner while professing to be Christian, unable to discern what spirit controls it, destroying love and confidence among fellow laborers and making room for Satan's attributes where Christ's should be. Those in Christ's service must be melted, subdued and transformed by grace to represent Christ in life and character by loving one another as He loved, putting on mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, forbearance and forgiveness even as Christ forgave, with charity as the bond of perfectness. Conference leaders are to give tender sympathy and care not only to those specially under guardianship but to others as well, manifesting Christlike politeness, respect and deference and dealing with others as purchased by Christ's blood, for loyalty to Christ demands work done with charity, and unless His precious love is brought into the life a person is not abiding in Him, while an oppressive, unfeeling spirit without compassion or tenderness is an offense to God and from Satan.
Christlike charity must be brought into daily experience at all times and under all circumstances, kept alive by pure, strong, genuine faith in Christ and rooted in broad belief embracing the whole plan of salvation in its purpose of love and mercy. It requires crucifying self and surrendering self to God, growing into stronger love and interest for one another and for Christ that is patient and kind, free from self-confidence, criticism, envy, enmity, petty differences, indifference and coldness. Fervent charity is to be cultivated among believers and lived daily by encouraging peace, thinking healthful thoughts, fighting the good fight of faith with steady purpose without failing or discouragement, having periods of rest and quietude of mind, and bringing all sunlight into life to bless others as well as self. Love for Christ and for one another must replace enmity, petty differences and coldness with steady Christlike affection expressed in words that bless and strengthen others.
The chapter expresses the obedience of those who love God and keep His commandments, put into practice in the life of every true believer. It is a living sermon to be printed and spread wherever possible like blessed leaves of the tree of life. It is heaven's rule to be brought into daily practice in the love Christ commands to love one another as He loved, meaning patient endurance and kindness without envy, boasting or pride, continuing in charity that does not misbehave, seeks no self, is not provoked, thinks no evil, rejects iniquity, rejoices in truth, and bears, believes, hopes and endures all things. In that spirit one overtaken in fault is to be restored by going directly to the erring one tenderly and respectfully as one would wish to be treated instead of telling others and surmising about him. Professed Christians who live apart from Christ and fail to practice the truth are departing from the Word. This love comes from God's Spirit and as a principle of action shapes character, governs impulses, subdues enmity and ennobles affections, reaching beyond those who return favors or belong to one's household to all people, blessing others, refining life, and bringing true happiness in every circumstance through serving as Christ served. Patient, kind charity joined with purity is what Christ prizes most in His representatives, being sanctified knowledge proving new birth and knowledge of God, and when believers love as He loved His love is perfected in them so they dwell in God and He in them, summing up and fulfilling the law by loving God supremely and neighbor as self, giving God highest honor and bringing peace and goodwill, while coldness and lack of sympathy are not from God but from the wicked one. Yielding the will, being forbearing and loving one another brings happiness and prevents distress.