1 Peter 3:1, commentary and pictures

Wives are to live in willing subjection to their own husbands, even when the husbands do not obey the word, treating them with respect and reverence. A husband who disobeys God may be won to faith without words and without being preached to, as he sees the daily conduct and life of his wife. Pure, chaste conduct joined with reverence has converting power, serving as a witness for truth and as a rebuke to vanity and pride in outward display. A wife's true beauty is not styling of hair, gold ornaments, or showy clothing, but the hidden character that does not decay, a gentle, calm, meek and quiet spirit that is very precious in God's sight, shown in modest, simple, neat and clean dress with goodness as ornament. The believing wife wins her husband by giving heart, soul, mind and strength to Christ so He is seen in her, remaining careful, considerate, patient and forbearing, pleasing her husband in every way possible while conscientiously obeying God and never yielding principle, drawing rather than driving him and not urging truth upon him with words, so his heart is touched.

Submission Wins Without Words

Likewise, wives are to live in willing subjection to their own husbands, including husbands who do not obey the word, treating the husband with respect and reverence. A husband who disobeys God's word and does not obey the truth may be won to faith without words and without being preached to or persuaded by words, by the conduct and daily life of his wife as he sees it while he watches. That includes an unbelieving husband, who may be won without being preached to as he sees her chaste behavior joined with reverence.

Pure, chaste conduct joined with reverence has converting power, and a daily life marked by godly character serves as a witness for good and as a rebuke to vanity and to pride in outward display. The wife's influence rests on godly character rather than outward adornment, so her chaste conduct joined with reverence is itself the witness that can win.

A believing wife's faithful, loving, and meek conduct can influence an unbelieving husband and help win him to God even when they differ in religious faith. Modesty, thoughtful behavior, and a life shaped by the Spirit bear witness to the truth and encourage and bless her husband in his work.

Inward Beauty Over Outward

Joined to the verses that follow it, the verse teaches that a wife's true beauty is not outward styling of hair, gold ornaments, or showy clothing. It is the hidden character within that does not decay. It is a gentle and calm spirit, a meek and quiet spirit, that is very precious in God's sight.

Christian women are therefore to dress modestly and simply and to let goodness be their ornament. Neatness, cleanliness, and modesty are to mark them, with devotion to family and to God. Such chaste and godly conduct gives influence for good and is prized in heaven.

Faithful Love at Home

The believing wife wins her husband by giving heart and soul and mind and strength to Christ so that she represents Him in character and he sees the Holy Spirit working in her. She is careful and considerate, patient and forbearing, doing her duty as a wife should, keeping her affections fixed on her husband and pleasing him in every way possible. She conscientiously obeys God while pleasing her husband wherever she can, and does not let her religious faith draw her apart from him. She does not urge the truth upon him with words, and by this godly life his heart is touched.

She is to draw him rather than drive him, showing him each day a living example of patience and self-control. She makes every effort to please him, yet never yields up one principle of the truth.

By preserving womanly dignity, elevating her affections, and living in sanctification and honor, a wife can help win and sanctify her husband and help save both herself and him. Prayer gives strength and grace for this difficult work, and love for God and for her husband must guide her actions. That loving influence toward holiness must be guided by wisdom and patience and moral courage and fortitude.

A wife who reproaches and discourages a weak husband instead of bearing her troubles with a Christian spirit fails to exert this saving influence. Modesty, thoughtful behavior, and a life shaped by the Spirit bear witness to truth and encourage and bless her husband in his work.

Unsanctified, unconverted wives are a danger that follows ministers of the gospel and enters the churches, giving a message of great importance to ministers and ministers' wives. Every minister of the gospel must search deep and make clean work for eternity for the benefit of his own soul, and must labor with zeal for his unsanctified, unconverted companion, with the same zeal needed in the churches. The convicting, converting power of the gospel must search the hearts of ministers and their families, or an irreligious element will remain in their homes.

Applied to the marriage of a believer and an unbelieving spouse, an unbelieving or opposing wife alone is not grounds for her husband to put her away; he must remain with her unless she chooses to depart. The same principle reaches beyond marriage, for a godly life with tender, patient conduct and Christ uplifted in daily life can win resisting family members to Christ and overcome prejudice. Meekness and piety exhibited in daily life and in the right training and management of families has power to win those who do not believe to see and accept the truth when the most thrilling appeals from the pulpit have no effect and logic and eloquence fail, even disarming the infidel. Such a life is the Word living in the heart, shining upon the countenance, expressed by the lips, and exemplified in the conduct, and any person who does not obey the word may thus be won to Jesus through a believer's holy life and conduct.