Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
As the church lives in willing obedience under Christ, so a wife is to live in willing obedience to her own husband in all things. This is because the husband is set as head, protector and counselor of the wife, even as Christ is head and Saviour of the church. That obedience is joined to the husband's charge to love, nourish and cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself to make it holy and without blemish. It never gives a husband leave to rule by force, erase his wife's individuality, control her body, or demand obedience to his whims, for she remains God's own and he himself must be under Christ's rule. When both put Christ first and serve one another in kindness, humility, forbearance and self-sacrifice, their lifelong union becomes a living picture of Christ and His church and a foretaste of heaven.
Pattern and Headship
As the church is subject to Christ, so wives are to be subject to their own husbands in everything. This submission is yielded to their own husbands in all things in the same way the church yields to Christ, done in the fear of God as unto the Lord. It belongs to a pattern of mutual care in which the wife's submission is paired with the husband's love for her, modeled on Christ's love for the church. The husband's duty is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it to sanctify and cleanse and present it holy and without blemish, and to love her as his own body, nourishing and cherishing her as the Lord cherishes the church, while the wife is to reverence, respect and love her husband. No husband is to degrade his wife by making her a servant to his uncontrolled passions.
Lived out, this order requires husband and wife to manifest toward each other the spirit Christ manifests toward the church, putting on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering and love, cultivating kindness and being determined never to grieve or injure the other, with neither husband nor wife making a plea for rulership. It is lived with wise, circumspect walking, understanding the will of the Lord, being filled with the Spirit, thanksgiving, and mutual submission, and in this way husband and wife glorify God in their united life. Heeding it makes home life pure and elevated, garrisoned and guarded by a holy love. These are lessons for the guidance of every married man and every married woman, to be studied carefully with searching of heart as with a lighted candle, for these family instructions are of the greatest importance yet are practiced by few, and if carried out to the letter they would change families.
The reason given is that the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church. God has given the man the preference and made him the head, and the wife is to obey her husband. The husband is the wife's head and protector, binding the family together, just as Christ is head and Savior of the church. Yielding to the husband she chose as counselor, adviser, and protector, with his judgment given preference, does not lessen the wife's dignity, and her conduct should not weaken his influence or lead him to abandon the responsible position God gives him, for doing so displeases God. Doing this with an eye single to the glory of God and a will swallowed up in the will of God belongs to being fully given up, consecrated, and prepared for Christ's coming, and serving God with the whole heart does not wean the wife from her husband but draws her closer to him in harmony and happiness.
The instruction is for those who enter into the marriage relation, laying down the guiding principle for marriage as a union for life symbolizing the union between Christ and His church and representing the sacred union between Christ and His redeemed people. This submission belongs to the new duties of marriage and is joined to mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and to walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself. It does not excuse a masterly, dictatorial spirit or lording it over each other, because the husband's part to love and cherish as Christ loves the church comes in naturally with it. Husband and wife sanctified to God body, soul, and spirit keep the strong definite lines of duty by recognizing each other's rights with a grateful, submissive spirit, the husband never thinking his wife has no rights and respecting her individuality so it is not submerged in anyone else. Marriage so ordered is lived by loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord with courtesy, drawing in even cords, in mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other, making conduct in the home a preparation for entrance to the family above.
The passage about wives and husbands illustrated by Christ's relation to the church addresses their mutual duties toward each other, using Christ's relation to the church to illustrate and reinforce those duties. It is not defining the identity of the Lamb's bride or the timing of the marriage of the Lamb.
Mutual Love and Respect
Ephesians 5:24 is never alone, but is paired with the husband's duty to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, to sanctify and cleanse it and present it holy and without blemish. He is to love, nourish and cherish her as his own body, as the Lord cherishes the church, caring for her as for himself. This belongs to a pattern of mutual care in which husband and wife show one another the spirit of Christ, the wife's submission answering to the husband's Christlike love. Heeding this makes home life pure and elevated, guarded by a holy love.
In return the wife is to respect, revere and love her husband. God has ordained perfect love and perfect harmony in marriage, with the wife respecting and reverencing her husband and the husband loving and cherishing his wife. In family life she is his companion sharing interest in their home, loving, obeying and reverencing him, while he loves and cherishes her as Christ loves the church. Human love between them is included in Christ's divine love, refined and purified, elevated and ennobled when united with the divine nature and trained heavenward, becoming a foretaste of heaven that makes marriages and firesides happy. Both are to stay faithful for as long as life lasts in self-sacrifice that brings the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character.
Husband and wife are to manifest toward each other the spirit Christ manifests toward the church. Both are to put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering and love, cultivating kindness and being determined never to grieve or injure the other, with mercy, courtesy, thanksgiving, and walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself. This is lived out with wise, circumspect walking, understanding the will of the Lord, being filled with the Spirit, and submitting in the fear of God as unto the Lord, by which husband and wife glorify God in their united life. It is mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other, loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord and drawing in even cords. Neither husband nor wife has a plea for rulership, domineering, lording it over each other, or compelling the other by strength of will.
This order belongs within a marriage in which both keep their personal relation to God and put Christ first. Even within headship husband and wife are equal before God, both amenable to Him and under one Master. They share the same hope in Jesus Christ, and in the highest sense stand as brother and sister undivided in spirit, keeping their souls in the love of God through trials in a sacred marital union.
Limits on Husband's Authority
Ephesians 5:24 gives a husband no permission to control or abuse his wife. The marriage vow does not sanction bodily abuse, nor does a wife's submission excuse indulgence of sexual passion at the cost of her health or life. She remains God's property, a child of God purchased at infinite cost, responsible to honor God in body and spirit. A husband therefore has no license to demand submission while indulging selfish or harmful desires, but must show constant, faithful, compassionate love that does no harm to her body or health.
The verse does not authorize a husband to tyrannize his wife, to demand obedience to his whims, to rule with a masterly dictatorial spirit, or to erase her individuality and personal rights. To use it that way misuses Scripture, because the teaching on a wife's duty is joined to the husband's duty to be kind and affectionate, to love his wife as himself, and to love and cherish her as Christ cherishes the church. Submission belongs to the new duties of marriage and comes joined to mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and to walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself. It never excuses lording it over one another, for the husband's part to love and cherish comes in naturally with it, with husband and wife sanctified to God in body, soul, and spirit keeping the definite lines of duty by recognizing each other's rights with a grateful, submissive spirit. The husband must never think his wife has no rights, but must respect her individuality so that it is not submerged in anyone else, with both loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord with courtesy, drawing in even cords in mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other.
A husband must himself submit to Christ so that his conduct represents Christ's relation to the church. A coarse, harsh, overbearing, egotistical, or selfish man who disregards Christ's rule or indulges harmful desires cannot rightly appeal to headship to require his wife's submission in everything.
Christ requires submission from the church only for its good, ruling with wisdom and love and tenderness to bring rest and benefit. A husband controlled by the Spirit of Christ will require only what brings good in the same way. The verse does not teach husbands to study how complete the wife's subjection must be, but to study Christ to have the mind of Christ, to become purified and refined, and to use authority with Christlike tenderness as fit lord of the household.
Daily Life in Marriage
Submission in daily life means the wife yields her wishes, will, and way to her husband and gives preference to his judgment as head. She brings her judgment, views, and reasoning into agreement with his when possible, and where they differ on what is not a matter of conscience she yields to his preference. This includes speaking to him with reverence rather than in a dictating or impatient manner. Such yielding does not lessen her dignity, and yielding even when it conflicts with her feelings can spare both unhappiness and give victory over temptation.
The wife leaves father, mother, sisters, brothers, and friends and cleaves to her husband, loving him better than anyone on earth and making his wishes her wishes. Obeying means being yielding and tender toward him, sympathizing with and comforting him, and holding up his hands by kind words and prayers when he is weary and tried by his work. She does not burden him, tease and fret him into impatience, wound him by careless talk, or divide her affections with friends. She shares life's responsibilities rather than expecting her husband to support her while she indulges her own wishes or tries to control him. She labors with him for God by keeping him free, laying no hindrance in his way, and cheering, encouraging, and holding him up by her prayers.
The husband in turn is not to be bitter against his wife but to love her as his own body, being patient, kind, and forbearing. He respects her individuality so it is not submerged, recognizing her rights, honoring her own will and desire to have her way, and using his strength and wider experience to bless her rather than to force her. He looks upon the mother of his children as deserving all kindness, tenderness, and sympathy. He speaks no word of censure of her in the children's hearing, while she speaks no disrespectful word of him in their presence.
When professed believers submit to the rule of Christ, the husband fulfills headship as priest in religious service and as house-band to bind the family relation together. That headship means watching and praying, keeping his soul in communion with God under the molding influence of the Holy Spirit, withstanding temptation, sharing responsibility for dependent children, and cooperating in wisely, tenderly, and lovingly training them judiciously. The wife leans upon her husband in deep love, loving, respecting, and counseling with him. She stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave.
A wife's refusal to fulfill her marriage duties to love and obey her husband and to yield to God's authority is a breach of the marriage vow. If she utterly refuses to keep it and will only torture his soul, wearing out his life, discouraging him, unfitting him for service, and ruining him spiritually, he is under no obligation to keep one by his side who does himself incalculable harm while doing her no good. It is best for him not to be connected with her in any way until she learns her place and duties.
Christ and Church Pictured
Marriage as a union for life symbolizes and represents the sacred union between Christ and His church and between Christ and His redeemed people. As the church is subject to Christ so wives are to be subject to their own husbands in everything, laying down the guiding principle for that union. The spirit Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit husband and wife are to manifest toward each other, with the husband to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church and the wife to respect and love her husband. This belongs to the new duties of marriage joined to mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself, with neither making a plea for rulership or lording it over the other. In that union the husband is the wife's head and protector who binds the family together, just as Christ is head and Savior of the church.
The unity of Christ and the church is the pattern for unity in the family, with the husband to act as house-band to bind the family together in that unity. When he breaks that pattern and the wife takes on his same harsh mold of character, woe comes to the children. Then the whole family becomes a blot, with every tie of affection broken and the members scattered and filled with bitterness and hatred toward one another.
The relation between Christ and His church is very close and sacred, with Christ as bridegroom and head and the church as bride and body. The church is Christ's body and bride. That comparison between the church's relation to Christ and a wife's relation to her husband sets forth headship and subjection together.
Connection with Christ therefore involves connection with His church, making church relationship an obligation. The church is organized for service, so that connection with the church is one of the first steps in a life of service to Christ. Loyalty to Christ demands faithful performance of church duties as training that leads directly to effort for the world without, where the church is imbued with the Master's life.
Outward membership in the church does not itself unite a person to Christ, but that union comes through personal faith in Him. Christ and the church are inseparable.
Blessing of Obedience
Heeding this order makes home life pure and elevated, garrisoned and guarded by a holy love. That guarding belongs with the husband's part to love and cherish his wife as his own body, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, caring for her as for himself. Lived out with mutual submission, this united order is the way husband and wife glorify God in their married life, staying faithful for as long as life lasts. The wife follows her husband with respect and love while the husband loves and cherishes his wife and acts as house-band of the family and priest of the home, in self-sacrifice that brings the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character. That submission is done in the fear of God as unto the Lord, with wise and circumspect walking, understanding the will of the Lord, being filled with the Spirit, thanksgiving, and mutual submission.
God has ordained perfect love and perfect harmony in marriage, with the wife respecting and revering her husband and the husband loving and cherishing his wife. Human love between husband and wife is included in Christ's divine love, refined and kept pure by divine love, and when united with the divine nature and trained heavenward it is elevated and ennobled, becoming a foretaste of heaven that makes marriages and firesides happy. Such Christian marriage helps form Christian character. The husband as priest of the household binds wife and children to his heart, sustaining his wife with large affections before children are born and afterward cooperating with her in wisely, tenderly, and lovingly educating them, with no unkindness chilling the home. This family relationship is sanctifying in its influence, for Christian homes established and conducted according to God's plan form Christian character as a symbol of the great family above, where parents and children unite in loving service to Him who alone can keep human love pure and noble.
Pure, clean, holy affections between husband and wife under this order give testimony to the world of happy Christian homes. Conduct in the home then becomes preparation for entrance to the family above. That preparation comes through mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself, with the spirit Christ manifests toward the church becoming the spirit husband and wife manifest toward each other. It does not allow a masterly, dictatorial spirit or lording it over each other, for the husband's part to love and cherish as Christ loves the church comes in naturally with it. Husband and wife sanctified to God in body, soul, and spirit keep the strong definite lines of duty by recognizing each other's rights with a grateful, submissive spirit, the husband never thinking his wife has no rights and respecting her individuality so that it is not submerged in anyone else, loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord with courtesy, drawing in even cords, in mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other. When professed believers submit to the rule of Christ, the husband fulfills God's purpose for headship by being priest in religious service and house-band to bind the family relation together, while the wife leans upon her husband in deep love, loves, respects, and counsels with him, and stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave. Marriage as a union for life is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church.
These family instructions are of the greatest importance yet are practiced by few, and if carried out to the letter they would change families. They give lessons for the guidance of every married man and every married woman, to be studied carefully with searching of heart as with a lighted candle. The command belongs with the husband's duty to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it to sanctify and cleanse and present it holy and without blemish, and to love her as his own body, nourishing and cherishing her as the Lord cherishes the church, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. No husband is to degrade his wife by making her a servant to his uncontrolled passions, and the wife is to reverence her husband. Doing this with an eye single to the glory of God and a will swallowed up in the will of God belongs to being fully given up, consecrated, and prepared for Christ's coming. God has given man the preference and made him the head, and the wife is to obey her husband, leaving father, mother, sisters, brothers and friends and cleaving to her husband, loving him better than anyone on earth and making his wishes her wishes, which draws her closer to him and brings harmony and happiness, while the husband in return is not to be bitter against his wife but to love her as his own body. A wife labors with her husband for God by keeping him free, laying no hindrance in his way, and cheering, encouraging, and holding him up by her prayers, for which she will not lose her reward.
As the church lives in willing obedience under Christ, so a wife is to live in willing obedience to her own husband in all things. This is because the husband is set as head, protector and counselor of the wife, even as Christ is head and Saviour of the church. That obedience is joined to the husband's charge to love, nourish and cherish his wife as his own body, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself to make it holy and without blemish. It never gives a husband leave to rule by force, erase his wife's individuality, control her body, or demand obedience to his whims, for she remains God's own and he himself must be under Christ's rule. When both put Christ first and serve one another in kindness, humility, forbearance and self-sacrifice, their lifelong union becomes a living picture of Christ and His church and a foretaste of heaven.
Pattern and Headship
As the church is subject to Christ, so wives are to be subject to their own husbands in everything. This submission is yielded to their own husbands in all things in the same way the church yields to Christ, done in the fear of God as unto the Lord. It belongs to a pattern of mutual care in which the wife's submission is paired with the husband's love for her, modeled on Christ's love for the church. The husband's duty is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it to sanctify and cleanse and present it holy and without blemish, and to love her as his own body, nourishing and cherishing her as the Lord cherishes the church, while the wife is to reverence, respect and love her husband. No husband is to degrade his wife by making her a servant to his uncontrolled passions.
Lived out, this order requires husband and wife to manifest toward each other the spirit Christ manifests toward the church, putting on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering and love, cultivating kindness and being determined never to grieve or injure the other, with neither husband nor wife making a plea for rulership. It is lived with wise, circumspect walking, understanding the will of the Lord, being filled with the Spirit, thanksgiving, and mutual submission, and in this way husband and wife glorify God in their united life. Heeding it makes home life pure and elevated, garrisoned and guarded by a holy love. These are lessons for the guidance of every married man and every married woman, to be studied carefully with searching of heart as with a lighted candle, for these family instructions are of the greatest importance yet are practiced by few, and if carried out to the letter they would change families.
The reason given is that the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church. God has given the man the preference and made him the head, and the wife is to obey her husband. The husband is the wife's head and protector, binding the family together, just as Christ is head and Savior of the church. Yielding to the husband she chose as counselor, adviser, and protector, with his judgment given preference, does not lessen the wife's dignity, and her conduct should not weaken his influence or lead him to abandon the responsible position God gives him, for doing so displeases God. Doing this with an eye single to the glory of God and a will swallowed up in the will of God belongs to being fully given up, consecrated, and prepared for Christ's coming, and serving God with the whole heart does not wean the wife from her husband but draws her closer to him in harmony and happiness.
The instruction is for those who enter into the marriage relation, laying down the guiding principle for marriage as a union for life symbolizing the union between Christ and His church and representing the sacred union between Christ and His redeemed people. This submission belongs to the new duties of marriage and is joined to mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and to walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself. It does not excuse a masterly, dictatorial spirit or lording it over each other, because the husband's part to love and cherish as Christ loves the church comes in naturally with it. Husband and wife sanctified to God body, soul, and spirit keep the strong definite lines of duty by recognizing each other's rights with a grateful, submissive spirit, the husband never thinking his wife has no rights and respecting her individuality so it is not submerged in anyone else. Marriage so ordered is lived by loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord with courtesy, drawing in even cords, in mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other, making conduct in the home a preparation for entrance to the family above.
The passage about wives and husbands illustrated by Christ's relation to the church addresses their mutual duties toward each other, using Christ's relation to the church to illustrate and reinforce those duties. It is not defining the identity of the Lamb's bride or the timing of the marriage of the Lamb.
Mutual Love and Respect
Ephesians 5:24 is never alone, but is paired with the husband's duty to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, to sanctify and cleanse it and present it holy and without blemish. He is to love, nourish and cherish her as his own body, as the Lord cherishes the church, caring for her as for himself. This belongs to a pattern of mutual care in which husband and wife show one another the spirit of Christ, the wife's submission answering to the husband's Christlike love. Heeding this makes home life pure and elevated, guarded by a holy love.
In return the wife is to respect, revere and love her husband. God has ordained perfect love and perfect harmony in marriage, with the wife respecting and reverencing her husband and the husband loving and cherishing his wife. In family life she is his companion sharing interest in their home, loving, obeying and reverencing him, while he loves and cherishes her as Christ loves the church. Human love between them is included in Christ's divine love, refined and purified, elevated and ennobled when united with the divine nature and trained heavenward, becoming a foretaste of heaven that makes marriages and firesides happy. Both are to stay faithful for as long as life lasts in self-sacrifice that brings the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character.
Husband and wife are to manifest toward each other the spirit Christ manifests toward the church. Both are to put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering and love, cultivating kindness and being determined never to grieve or injure the other, with mercy, courtesy, thanksgiving, and walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself. This is lived out with wise, circumspect walking, understanding the will of the Lord, being filled with the Spirit, and submitting in the fear of God as unto the Lord, by which husband and wife glorify God in their united life. It is mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other, loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord and drawing in even cords. Neither husband nor wife has a plea for rulership, domineering, lording it over each other, or compelling the other by strength of will.
This order belongs within a marriage in which both keep their personal relation to God and put Christ first. Even within headship husband and wife are equal before God, both amenable to Him and under one Master. They share the same hope in Jesus Christ, and in the highest sense stand as brother and sister undivided in spirit, keeping their souls in the love of God through trials in a sacred marital union.
Limits on Husband's Authority
Ephesians 5:24 gives a husband no permission to control or abuse his wife. The marriage vow does not sanction bodily abuse, nor does a wife's submission excuse indulgence of sexual passion at the cost of her health or life. She remains God's property, a child of God purchased at infinite cost, responsible to honor God in body and spirit. A husband therefore has no license to demand submission while indulging selfish or harmful desires, but must show constant, faithful, compassionate love that does no harm to her body or health.
The verse does not authorize a husband to tyrannize his wife, to demand obedience to his whims, to rule with a masterly dictatorial spirit, or to erase her individuality and personal rights. To use it that way misuses Scripture, because the teaching on a wife's duty is joined to the husband's duty to be kind and affectionate, to love his wife as himself, and to love and cherish her as Christ cherishes the church. Submission belongs to the new duties of marriage and comes joined to mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and to walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself. It never excuses lording it over one another, for the husband's part to love and cherish comes in naturally with it, with husband and wife sanctified to God in body, soul, and spirit keeping the definite lines of duty by recognizing each other's rights with a grateful, submissive spirit. The husband must never think his wife has no rights, but must respect her individuality so that it is not submerged in anyone else, with both loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord with courtesy, drawing in even cords in mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other.
A husband must himself submit to Christ so that his conduct represents Christ's relation to the church. A coarse, harsh, overbearing, egotistical, or selfish man who disregards Christ's rule or indulges harmful desires cannot rightly appeal to headship to require his wife's submission in everything.
Christ requires submission from the church only for its good, ruling with wisdom and love and tenderness to bring rest and benefit. A husband controlled by the Spirit of Christ will require only what brings good in the same way. The verse does not teach husbands to study how complete the wife's subjection must be, but to study Christ to have the mind of Christ, to become purified and refined, and to use authority with Christlike tenderness as fit lord of the household.
Daily Life in Marriage
Submission in daily life means the wife yields her wishes, will, and way to her husband and gives preference to his judgment as head. She brings her judgment, views, and reasoning into agreement with his when possible, and where they differ on what is not a matter of conscience she yields to his preference. This includes speaking to him with reverence rather than in a dictating or impatient manner. Such yielding does not lessen her dignity, and yielding even when it conflicts with her feelings can spare both unhappiness and give victory over temptation.
The wife leaves father, mother, sisters, brothers, and friends and cleaves to her husband, loving him better than anyone on earth and making his wishes her wishes. Obeying means being yielding and tender toward him, sympathizing with and comforting him, and holding up his hands by kind words and prayers when he is weary and tried by his work. She does not burden him, tease and fret him into impatience, wound him by careless talk, or divide her affections with friends. She shares life's responsibilities rather than expecting her husband to support her while she indulges her own wishes or tries to control him. She labors with him for God by keeping him free, laying no hindrance in his way, and cheering, encouraging, and holding him up by her prayers.
The husband in turn is not to be bitter against his wife but to love her as his own body, being patient, kind, and forbearing. He respects her individuality so it is not submerged, recognizing her rights, honoring her own will and desire to have her way, and using his strength and wider experience to bless her rather than to force her. He looks upon the mother of his children as deserving all kindness, tenderness, and sympathy. He speaks no word of censure of her in the children's hearing, while she speaks no disrespectful word of him in their presence.
When professed believers submit to the rule of Christ, the husband fulfills headship as priest in religious service and as house-band to bind the family relation together. That headship means watching and praying, keeping his soul in communion with God under the molding influence of the Holy Spirit, withstanding temptation, sharing responsibility for dependent children, and cooperating in wisely, tenderly, and lovingly training them judiciously. The wife leans upon her husband in deep love, loving, respecting, and counseling with him. She stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave.
A wife's refusal to fulfill her marriage duties to love and obey her husband and to yield to God's authority is a breach of the marriage vow. If she utterly refuses to keep it and will only torture his soul, wearing out his life, discouraging him, unfitting him for service, and ruining him spiritually, he is under no obligation to keep one by his side who does himself incalculable harm while doing her no good. It is best for him not to be connected with her in any way until she learns her place and duties.
Christ and Church Pictured
Marriage as a union for life symbolizes and represents the sacred union between Christ and His church and between Christ and His redeemed people. As the church is subject to Christ so wives are to be subject to their own husbands in everything, laying down the guiding principle for that union. The spirit Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit husband and wife are to manifest toward each other, with the husband to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church and the wife to respect and love her husband. This belongs to the new duties of marriage joined to mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself, with neither making a plea for rulership or lording it over the other. In that union the husband is the wife's head and protector who binds the family together, just as Christ is head and Savior of the church.
The unity of Christ and the church is the pattern for unity in the family, with the husband to act as house-band to bind the family together in that unity. When he breaks that pattern and the wife takes on his same harsh mold of character, woe comes to the children. Then the whole family becomes a blot, with every tie of affection broken and the members scattered and filled with bitterness and hatred toward one another.
The relation between Christ and His church is very close and sacred, with Christ as bridegroom and head and the church as bride and body. The church is Christ's body and bride. That comparison between the church's relation to Christ and a wife's relation to her husband sets forth headship and subjection together.
Connection with Christ therefore involves connection with His church, making church relationship an obligation. The church is organized for service, so that connection with the church is one of the first steps in a life of service to Christ. Loyalty to Christ demands faithful performance of church duties as training that leads directly to effort for the world without, where the church is imbued with the Master's life.
Outward membership in the church does not itself unite a person to Christ, but that union comes through personal faith in Him. Christ and the church are inseparable.
Blessing of Obedience
Heeding this order makes home life pure and elevated, garrisoned and guarded by a holy love. That guarding belongs with the husband's part to love and cherish his wife as his own body, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, caring for her as for himself. Lived out with mutual submission, this united order is the way husband and wife glorify God in their married life, staying faithful for as long as life lasts. The wife follows her husband with respect and love while the husband loves and cherishes his wife and acts as house-band of the family and priest of the home, in self-sacrifice that brings the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character. That submission is done in the fear of God as unto the Lord, with wise and circumspect walking, understanding the will of the Lord, being filled with the Spirit, thanksgiving, and mutual submission.
God has ordained perfect love and perfect harmony in marriage, with the wife respecting and revering her husband and the husband loving and cherishing his wife. Human love between husband and wife is included in Christ's divine love, refined and kept pure by divine love, and when united with the divine nature and trained heavenward it is elevated and ennobled, becoming a foretaste of heaven that makes marriages and firesides happy. Such Christian marriage helps form Christian character. The husband as priest of the household binds wife and children to his heart, sustaining his wife with large affections before children are born and afterward cooperating with her in wisely, tenderly, and lovingly educating them, with no unkindness chilling the home. This family relationship is sanctifying in its influence, for Christian homes established and conducted according to God's plan form Christian character as a symbol of the great family above, where parents and children unite in loving service to Him who alone can keep human love pure and noble.
Pure, clean, holy affections between husband and wife under this order give testimony to the world of happy Christian homes. Conduct in the home then becomes preparation for entrance to the family above. That preparation comes through mercy, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, and walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself, with the spirit Christ manifests toward the church becoming the spirit husband and wife manifest toward each other. It does not allow a masterly, dictatorial spirit or lording it over each other, for the husband's part to love and cherish as Christ loves the church comes in naturally with it. Husband and wife sanctified to God in body, soul, and spirit keep the strong definite lines of duty by recognizing each other's rights with a grateful, submissive spirit, the husband never thinking his wife has no rights and respecting her individuality so that it is not submerged in anyone else, loving God supremely and loving each other in the Lord with courtesy, drawing in even cords, in mutual self-denial and self-sacrifice as a blessing to each other. When professed believers submit to the rule of Christ, the husband fulfills God's purpose for headship by being priest in religious service and house-band to bind the family relation together, while the wife leans upon her husband in deep love, loves, respects, and counsels with him, and stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave. Marriage as a union for life is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church.
These family instructions are of the greatest importance yet are practiced by few, and if carried out to the letter they would change families. They give lessons for the guidance of every married man and every married woman, to be studied carefully with searching of heart as with a lighted candle. The command belongs with the husband's duty to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it to sanctify and cleanse and present it holy and without blemish, and to love her as his own body, nourishing and cherishing her as the Lord cherishes the church, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. No husband is to degrade his wife by making her a servant to his uncontrolled passions, and the wife is to reverence her husband. Doing this with an eye single to the glory of God and a will swallowed up in the will of God belongs to being fully given up, consecrated, and prepared for Christ's coming. God has given man the preference and made him the head, and the wife is to obey her husband, leaving father, mother, sisters, brothers and friends and cleaving to her husband, loving him better than anyone on earth and making his wishes her wishes, which draws her closer to him and brings harmony and happiness, while the husband in return is not to be bitter against his wife but to love her as his own body. A wife labors with her husband for God by keeping him free, laying no hindrance in his way, and cheering, encouraging, and holding him up by her prayers, for which she will not lose her reward.