So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Husbands are commanded to love their wives with the same care they give their own bodies, so that in loving his wife a man loves himself. To love her in this way is to treat her as part of himself in a close one-flesh union, with steady and unselfish care. The pattern is Christ's self-giving love for the church, who gave Himself for her to sanctify her, nourishing and cherishing her and seeking her physical and spiritual good. That love is tender, faithful, compassionate and self-sacrificing in courtesy, kindness, patience and sympathy, never masterly or domineering, but respecting her rights, individuality and will. It is broken when a husband burdens her health and happiness with too many children without recovery, uses her to gratify lustful passion, or treats her with bitterness, belittling and harsh control.
Meaning and Context
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, for he that loves his wife loves himself. This is love reflecting Christ's love for the church, expressed in giving Himself for her and seeking her holiness, and in nourishing and cherishing her as Christ cares for the church. That love requires caring for her health and happiness, and a husband violates his marriage vow and his duties before God when he disregards her well-being by increasing her burdens and cares through numerous offspring and frequent childbearing without time to recover. It forbids degrading her by making her a servant to uncontrolled passions and lust for his own gratification rather than seeking her good. The lesson is of the greatest importance yet practiced by few, and if carried out fully it would bring great change in families.
As his own body means as part of himself in a close one-flesh union, requiring the steady, deep, unselfish care he gives his own body. He is to be kind and affectionate, to cherish her as Christ cherishes the church, to honor her and make constant effort to bring her happiness. This love is shown in attentive companionship and appreciation, not merely in words or in valuing her only for usefulness. It does not authorize him to act as tyrant or to disregard her personal rights and individuality. The same union is pictured in the church as Christ's body and bride, yet outward membership alone does not unite a person to Christ, but personal faith in the Savior brings spiritual union with Him.
The verse belongs to the marriage instruction in which wives are subject to their own husbands as to the Lord as the church is subject to Christ. In it husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, to sanctify and cleanse it and present it glorious and holy without spot or wrinkle or blemish. They are to nourish and cherish the wife as their own flesh even as the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church, with man leaving father and mother to be joined to his wife as one flesh, each husband loving his wife as himself and each wife reverencing her husband. This love is lived with mutual submission in the fear of God, in a wise and circumspect walk that redeems the time, understands the will of the Lord, is filled with the Spirit, and gives thanks always. When those who enter marriage heed this instruction, home life is pure and elevated, guarded by holy love, and glorifies God in united life. It belongs to God's order in marriage in which the man is given the preference as head and the wife is to obey her husband, but headship requires tender love and forbids bitterness against her. Wholehearted consecration to God does not wean a wife from her husband but draws her closer to him, causing her to leave father, mother, sisters, brothers and friends and cleave to her husband, to love him better than anyone on earth and make his wishes her wishes, so that husband and wife can live in harmony and happiness.
The chapter is Scripture that ministers and men must study and practice. Its teaching covers home duties and responsibility for educating and disciplining children and bringing order to the home. Neglect of those duties keeps families and churches from giving a right example.
Christ's Love as Pattern
The husband's love is patterned after Christ's self-giving love for the church, who gave Himself for her to sanctify and cleanse her and present her glorious and holy without spot or wrinkle or blemish. Loving his wife as his own body, so that he who loves his wife loves himself, belongs with wives submitting to their own husbands as to the Lord as the church is subject to Christ, with each husband loving his wife as himself and each wife reverencing her husband. When this instruction is heeded, united married life glorifies God and home life is pure and elevated, guarded by holy love. That love seeks her good and her holiness rather than using her to gratify lust, for husband and wife are joined as one and loving her is loving himself.
To love as his own body means to nourish and cherish his wife even as the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church, seeking her physical and spiritual good with self-denial and self-sacrifice. It therefore forbids disregarding her health and happiness by adding the burdens and cares of numerous children and by frequent childbearing and repeated pregnancies without time to recover, which violates the marriage vow and duty before God. It forbids degrading her by making her a servant to uncontrolled passion and selfish sexual desire, exhausting her strength and endangering her health and preventing her service, and every husband must remember these words. This lesson is of the greatest importance yet practiced by few, and if carried out fully it would bring great change in families. It is fulfilled with courtesy and kindness and mutual blessing, never with a masterly, dictatorial, domineering spirit or lording it over her, while respecting her rights and individuality without submerging it and cultivating a grateful, submissive spirit that recognizes each other's rights.
Marriage as a union for life is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church, and the spirit Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. Christ has shown that love by giving His blood and life to redeem His people and bind them to Himself in an eternal covenant. In that symbol the husband is to love and cherish his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, and the wife is to respect and love her husband and be subject to him as the church is subject to Christ, with neither pleading for rulership. Both take on new duties to put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness and long-suffering, to walk in love, and to cultivate kindness with the determination never to grieve or injure the other, so that loving God supremely leads to loving each other in the Lord and makes home life a preparation for the family above. The husband is thus to be a house-band to bind the family together into the unity symbolized by the unity of Christ and the church, holding husband, wife, and children in affection and oneness; when he rules by harsh control he breaks every tie of affection, the family scatters filled with bitterness and hatred one toward another, the whole home becomes a blot, and woe comes upon the children, especially if the wife shares his same mold of character.
Tender Care Required
The love commanded is tender, faithful and compassionate, self-denying and self-sacrificing in the pattern of Christ nourishing and cherishing the church. It is shown in courtesy and kindness, in patience and forbearance, in comforting and encouraging and sympathizing with wife and children in sorrow, keeping their minds peaceful, elevated and uplifted. It never takes a masterly, dictatorial or domineering spirit, never acts as taskmaster or tyrant lording it over her. It requires the husband to have the mind of Christ, purified and refined and fit to be lord of his household, overcoming all wicked passions.
That love does not authorize tyranny or disregard of personal rights, but respects the wife's rights and individuality and does not submerge it. She has a will of her own which is not to be domineered over or compelled by strength of will, and the husband is to require only what is good for her and brings her rest and benefit. Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership or try to force the other, for compulsion cannot retain love. Both are to cultivate a grateful, submissive spirit, recognize each other's rights, put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness and long-suffering, walk in love, and be determined never to grieve or injure each other.
Fulfilling the command makes the husband house-band to bind the family relation together and priest of the home in religious service. He keeps his soul in communion with God, keeps both their souls in the love of God through trials, withstands temptation, watches and prays lest he become careless and fail in full duty to wife and children, and is molded by the Holy Spirit to mold his children for God. He treats the mother of his children as deserving of all kindness, tenderness and sympathy, sharing fully the responsibility and care and training of the children. He speaks no word of censure or disrespect against her in the hearing of the children, seeks to keep her healthy and courageous, speaks words of comfort, does the things that make for peace, and helps create peace in the home. His love for her is pure, clean, holy affection, while she in deep love leans upon him, loves, respects and counsels with him, and stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave.
The love cherishes and honors the wife and makes constant effort to bring her happiness. It is shown in attentive companionship and appreciation, not merely in words nor in valuing her only for usefulness, and the husband is to be to her a light, comfort and blessing. Belittling her, disrespecting her, or making her feel inferior fails this duty. It is lived with a pure, sweet, peaceful and happy spirit in the home under the control of the Holy Spirit, for harsh words and a wrong spirit displease the Lord and press down and injure the wife, while right treatment would make her an entirely different woman. This requires genuine conversion, holding communion with God, yielding as clay to be fashioned after the similitude of Christ, with both husband and wife taking heed to themselves.
Violations Forbidden
To love a wife as one's own body is broken when a husband disregards her health and happiness by adding to her burdens and cares through numerous offspring and frequent or repeated childbearing without time to recover, and this violates his marriage vow and his duties before God. That love requires caring for her health and happiness, nourishing and cherishing her as Christ cares for the church, seeking her physical and spiritual good rather than harming or exhausting her or endangering her health and hindering her service, and it rules out sacrificing her health and strength to selfish sexual desire. The injunction is widely disregarded, and repeated childbearing overworks women and exhausts their strength, while having more children than can be properly trained leaves them uncultivated and poorly prepared to contribute to society.
The verse is also violated when a husband uses his wife to gratify lust and uncontrolled passions rather than seeking her good. Sexual desire that disregards her well-being is animal passion, not the pure and holy love God recognizes in marriage, for true love is self-giving, sanctified and ennobling, nourishing and cherishing like Christ's love that sanctifies and cares for the church. Lustful treatment degrades her dignity, makes her a servant to passion and to depraved passions under lustful domination, destroys respect, and can replace love in marriage with distrust, jealousy and hate. This lesson is of the greatest importance yet practiced by few, and if carried out fully it would bring great change in families.
Bitterness, belittling, disrespect, making her feel inferior, harsh words and a wrong spirit, domineering control, and a narrow, contemptible, Nabal-like spirit that provokes wife and children to wrath all violate the command to love and cherish as one's own body. Headship gives the man preference as head with the wife to obey, but it requires tender love and forbids bitterness, domineering over her, using strength of will to compel her against her own will, or pleading for rulership, since compulsion cannot retain love. Instead the husband must have the mind of Christ and become purified, refined and fit to be lord of his household, overcoming all wicked passions, doing the things that make for peace, showing courtesy and holy tender affection, comforting and encouraging and sympathizing with wife and children in sorrow, keeping their minds peaceful, elevated and uplifted unto perfection of character, and being a light, comfort and blessing to her. Married life lived this way represents the life of heaven, and the command is not impossible, for all must be doers of the Word and not hearers only, living by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.
Such violations leave women overworked and exhausted and prevent children from receiving proper training, leaving them uncultivated. Lustful, dishonoring treatment destroys respect and replaces love with distrust, jealousy and hate. When the husband fails in self-giving love and rules by harsh control he breaks every tie of affection, so the family scatters filled with bitterness and hatred toward one another, the whole home becomes a blot, and woe comes upon the children, especially if the wife shares his same mold of character, even to making the wife wish she had never married.
Mutual Duties in Marriage
The husband's command to love his wife as his own body belongs with the wife loving, respecting, reverencing and being subject to her husband as the church is subject to Christ. She leans upon him in deep love, loves and counsels with him, and stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave. Both cultivate a grateful, submissive spirit and recognize each other's rights, with mutual submission in the fear of God lived in a wise and circumspect walk that redeems the time, understands the will of the Lord, is filled with the Spirit, and gives thanks always. Neither is to make a plea for rulership or try to force the other, for compulsion cannot retain love, and each respects the other's will and individuality rather than submerging or domineering over it.
The love is pledged in lifelong faithfulness so long as life shall last, in which husband and wife leave father, mother, family and friends and cleave to each other. Wholehearted consecration to God does not wean a wife from her husband but draws her closer to him, causing her to love him better than anyone on earth and to make his wishes her wishes, so that husband and wife can live in harmony and happiness. God has given the man the preference as head and the wife is to obey her husband, but headship requires tender love and not bitterness. When believing husbands and wives are ruled by Christ the husband answers God's purpose by being priest in religious service and house-band to bind the family relation together, and such self-sacrificing love leads to the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character.
Both husband and wife are to put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness and long-suffering, to walk in love, and to cherish kindness with the determination never to grieve or injure each other. They are to take heed to themselves and live by genuine conversion in communion with God, yielding as clay to be fashioned after the similitude of Christ, with a pure, sweet, peaceful and happy spirit in the home under the control of the Holy Spirit. Loving God supremely leads to loving each other in the Lord and makes home life a preparation for the family above. Harsh words and a wrong spirit displease the Lord and press down and injure the wife, while right treatment would make her an entirely different woman.
Loyalty to Christ comes first, so no earthly marriage can be an excuse for separating from Him. Neither spouse is to give the soul into the other's keeping, but each keeps individual responsibility to God by creation and redemption, if need be forsaking earthly husband or wife in order to obey God and remain faithful to Jesus Christ. Human love in marriage is not destroyed by divine love but is included in it, refined, purified, elevated and ennobled. It bears its precious fruit only when united with the divine nature, trained to grow heavenward, and kept pure and noble by loving service to God.
Blessings and Church Union
When the instruction is heeded, married life is pure and elevated, guarded by holy love in a united life that glorifies God. Marital love and harmony are ordained by God, and divine love purifies and ennobles human love within a home where the husband nourishes and cherishes his wife after Christ's care for the church and the family grows in Christian character. Mutual faithfulness and self-sacrificing love that cherishes the wife as one's own body belong to such a God-glorifying home.
Marriage lived this way represents the life of heaven, is a foretaste of heaven, and is a preparation for the family above. Where it is obeyed there would be no unhappy families, for human love is not destroyed by divine love but included in it, refined and purified, elevated and ennobled, bearing its precious fruit only when united with the divine nature, trained to grow heavenward, and kept pure and noble by loving service to God. Families here are then a symbol of the great family above, and Christian homes ordered on God's plan help form Christian character through a sanctifying family influence.
Such self-sacrificing love leads to the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character, for it is sanctified and ennobling rather than degrading. It cherishes and honors the wife and makes constant effort to bring her happiness, shown in attentive companionship and appreciation and not merely in words or in valuing her for usefulness. It seeks her health, courage and peace and sustains her with large affections, with the husband as house-band binding wife and children to his heart and as priest of the home cooperating in their wise, tender, loving education in lifelong faithfulness so long as life shall last.
The verse expresses the very close and sacred relation between Christ the bridegroom and head and the church His bride and body, joined as a husband is joined to his own body. Connection with Christ therefore involves connection with His church, and loyalty to Christ demands faithful performance of church duties as a first step in service and training for effort for the world. No one can separate from the church and remain joined to Christ, nor reject those God appointed to lead and bear responsibility without rejecting the help, encouragement and strength God ordained through them.
Christ has married His church to Himself as His bride, having bought her as His own property at infinite cost by giving His blood and life to redeem His people and bind them to Himself in an eternal covenant. That union makes believers sharers in His kingdom as joint heirs, with the assurance they will be loved as God loves His Son. Men are therefore to lean wholly upon Jesus Christ as the source of wisdom, grace and efficiency.
Marriage pictures this spiritual wedlock with Jesus Christ, in which believers are joined to Him with the Word as assurance. That wedlock means pressing through obstacles with hope and strength, joining hands with Him, following where He leads, and doing whatsoever He says with willing obedience. Outward membership alone does not unite a person to Christ, but personal faith brings spiritual union, while unfaithfulness to Him is marital unfaithfulness to God as husband.
The wife is the property of Jesus Christ, bought with a price, and does not belong soul and body to her husband for him to order arbitrarily, domineer, wound and bruise. The husband is bound by his marriage vow to love and cherish her as his own flesh after the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for the salvation of believers.
Husbands are commanded to love their wives with the same care they give their own bodies, so that in loving his wife a man loves himself. To love her in this way is to treat her as part of himself in a close one-flesh union, with steady and unselfish care. The pattern is Christ's self-giving love for the church, who gave Himself for her to sanctify her, nourishing and cherishing her and seeking her physical and spiritual good. That love is tender, faithful, compassionate and self-sacrificing in courtesy, kindness, patience and sympathy, never masterly or domineering, but respecting her rights, individuality and will. It is broken when a husband burdens her health and happiness with too many children without recovery, uses her to gratify lustful passion, or treats her with bitterness, belittling and harsh control.
Meaning and Context
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, for he that loves his wife loves himself. This is love reflecting Christ's love for the church, expressed in giving Himself for her and seeking her holiness, and in nourishing and cherishing her as Christ cares for the church. That love requires caring for her health and happiness, and a husband violates his marriage vow and his duties before God when he disregards her well-being by increasing her burdens and cares through numerous offspring and frequent childbearing without time to recover. It forbids degrading her by making her a servant to uncontrolled passions and lust for his own gratification rather than seeking her good. The lesson is of the greatest importance yet practiced by few, and if carried out fully it would bring great change in families.
As his own body means as part of himself in a close one-flesh union, requiring the steady, deep, unselfish care he gives his own body. He is to be kind and affectionate, to cherish her as Christ cherishes the church, to honor her and make constant effort to bring her happiness. This love is shown in attentive companionship and appreciation, not merely in words or in valuing her only for usefulness. It does not authorize him to act as tyrant or to disregard her personal rights and individuality. The same union is pictured in the church as Christ's body and bride, yet outward membership alone does not unite a person to Christ, but personal faith in the Savior brings spiritual union with Him.
The verse belongs to the marriage instruction in which wives are subject to their own husbands as to the Lord as the church is subject to Christ. In it husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, to sanctify and cleanse it and present it glorious and holy without spot or wrinkle or blemish. They are to nourish and cherish the wife as their own flesh even as the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church, with man leaving father and mother to be joined to his wife as one flesh, each husband loving his wife as himself and each wife reverencing her husband. This love is lived with mutual submission in the fear of God, in a wise and circumspect walk that redeems the time, understands the will of the Lord, is filled with the Spirit, and gives thanks always. When those who enter marriage heed this instruction, home life is pure and elevated, guarded by holy love, and glorifies God in united life. It belongs to God's order in marriage in which the man is given the preference as head and the wife is to obey her husband, but headship requires tender love and forbids bitterness against her. Wholehearted consecration to God does not wean a wife from her husband but draws her closer to him, causing her to leave father, mother, sisters, brothers and friends and cleave to her husband, to love him better than anyone on earth and make his wishes her wishes, so that husband and wife can live in harmony and happiness.
The chapter is Scripture that ministers and men must study and practice. Its teaching covers home duties and responsibility for educating and disciplining children and bringing order to the home. Neglect of those duties keeps families and churches from giving a right example.
Christ's Love as Pattern
The husband's love is patterned after Christ's self-giving love for the church, who gave Himself for her to sanctify and cleanse her and present her glorious and holy without spot or wrinkle or blemish. Loving his wife as his own body, so that he who loves his wife loves himself, belongs with wives submitting to their own husbands as to the Lord as the church is subject to Christ, with each husband loving his wife as himself and each wife reverencing her husband. When this instruction is heeded, united married life glorifies God and home life is pure and elevated, guarded by holy love. That love seeks her good and her holiness rather than using her to gratify lust, for husband and wife are joined as one and loving her is loving himself.
To love as his own body means to nourish and cherish his wife even as the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church, seeking her physical and spiritual good with self-denial and self-sacrifice. It therefore forbids disregarding her health and happiness by adding the burdens and cares of numerous children and by frequent childbearing and repeated pregnancies without time to recover, which violates the marriage vow and duty before God. It forbids degrading her by making her a servant to uncontrolled passion and selfish sexual desire, exhausting her strength and endangering her health and preventing her service, and every husband must remember these words. This lesson is of the greatest importance yet practiced by few, and if carried out fully it would bring great change in families. It is fulfilled with courtesy and kindness and mutual blessing, never with a masterly, dictatorial, domineering spirit or lording it over her, while respecting her rights and individuality without submerging it and cultivating a grateful, submissive spirit that recognizes each other's rights.
Marriage as a union for life is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church, and the spirit Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. Christ has shown that love by giving His blood and life to redeem His people and bind them to Himself in an eternal covenant. In that symbol the husband is to love and cherish his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, and the wife is to respect and love her husband and be subject to him as the church is subject to Christ, with neither pleading for rulership. Both take on new duties to put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness and long-suffering, to walk in love, and to cultivate kindness with the determination never to grieve or injure the other, so that loving God supremely leads to loving each other in the Lord and makes home life a preparation for the family above. The husband is thus to be a house-band to bind the family together into the unity symbolized by the unity of Christ and the church, holding husband, wife, and children in affection and oneness; when he rules by harsh control he breaks every tie of affection, the family scatters filled with bitterness and hatred one toward another, the whole home becomes a blot, and woe comes upon the children, especially if the wife shares his same mold of character.
Tender Care Required
The love commanded is tender, faithful and compassionate, self-denying and self-sacrificing in the pattern of Christ nourishing and cherishing the church. It is shown in courtesy and kindness, in patience and forbearance, in comforting and encouraging and sympathizing with wife and children in sorrow, keeping their minds peaceful, elevated and uplifted. It never takes a masterly, dictatorial or domineering spirit, never acts as taskmaster or tyrant lording it over her. It requires the husband to have the mind of Christ, purified and refined and fit to be lord of his household, overcoming all wicked passions.
That love does not authorize tyranny or disregard of personal rights, but respects the wife's rights and individuality and does not submerge it. She has a will of her own which is not to be domineered over or compelled by strength of will, and the husband is to require only what is good for her and brings her rest and benefit. Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership or try to force the other, for compulsion cannot retain love. Both are to cultivate a grateful, submissive spirit, recognize each other's rights, put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness and long-suffering, walk in love, and be determined never to grieve or injure each other.
Fulfilling the command makes the husband house-band to bind the family relation together and priest of the home in religious service. He keeps his soul in communion with God, keeps both their souls in the love of God through trials, withstands temptation, watches and prays lest he become careless and fail in full duty to wife and children, and is molded by the Holy Spirit to mold his children for God. He treats the mother of his children as deserving of all kindness, tenderness and sympathy, sharing fully the responsibility and care and training of the children. He speaks no word of censure or disrespect against her in the hearing of the children, seeks to keep her healthy and courageous, speaks words of comfort, does the things that make for peace, and helps create peace in the home. His love for her is pure, clean, holy affection, while she in deep love leans upon him, loves, respects and counsels with him, and stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave.
The love cherishes and honors the wife and makes constant effort to bring her happiness. It is shown in attentive companionship and appreciation, not merely in words nor in valuing her only for usefulness, and the husband is to be to her a light, comfort and blessing. Belittling her, disrespecting her, or making her feel inferior fails this duty. It is lived with a pure, sweet, peaceful and happy spirit in the home under the control of the Holy Spirit, for harsh words and a wrong spirit displease the Lord and press down and injure the wife, while right treatment would make her an entirely different woman. This requires genuine conversion, holding communion with God, yielding as clay to be fashioned after the similitude of Christ, with both husband and wife taking heed to themselves.
Violations Forbidden
To love a wife as one's own body is broken when a husband disregards her health and happiness by adding to her burdens and cares through numerous offspring and frequent or repeated childbearing without time to recover, and this violates his marriage vow and his duties before God. That love requires caring for her health and happiness, nourishing and cherishing her as Christ cares for the church, seeking her physical and spiritual good rather than harming or exhausting her or endangering her health and hindering her service, and it rules out sacrificing her health and strength to selfish sexual desire. The injunction is widely disregarded, and repeated childbearing overworks women and exhausts their strength, while having more children than can be properly trained leaves them uncultivated and poorly prepared to contribute to society.
The verse is also violated when a husband uses his wife to gratify lust and uncontrolled passions rather than seeking her good. Sexual desire that disregards her well-being is animal passion, not the pure and holy love God recognizes in marriage, for true love is self-giving, sanctified and ennobling, nourishing and cherishing like Christ's love that sanctifies and cares for the church. Lustful treatment degrades her dignity, makes her a servant to passion and to depraved passions under lustful domination, destroys respect, and can replace love in marriage with distrust, jealousy and hate. This lesson is of the greatest importance yet practiced by few, and if carried out fully it would bring great change in families.
Bitterness, belittling, disrespect, making her feel inferior, harsh words and a wrong spirit, domineering control, and a narrow, contemptible, Nabal-like spirit that provokes wife and children to wrath all violate the command to love and cherish as one's own body. Headship gives the man preference as head with the wife to obey, but it requires tender love and forbids bitterness, domineering over her, using strength of will to compel her against her own will, or pleading for rulership, since compulsion cannot retain love. Instead the husband must have the mind of Christ and become purified, refined and fit to be lord of his household, overcoming all wicked passions, doing the things that make for peace, showing courtesy and holy tender affection, comforting and encouraging and sympathizing with wife and children in sorrow, keeping their minds peaceful, elevated and uplifted unto perfection of character, and being a light, comfort and blessing to her. Married life lived this way represents the life of heaven, and the command is not impossible, for all must be doers of the Word and not hearers only, living by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.
Such violations leave women overworked and exhausted and prevent children from receiving proper training, leaving them uncultivated. Lustful, dishonoring treatment destroys respect and replaces love with distrust, jealousy and hate. When the husband fails in self-giving love and rules by harsh control he breaks every tie of affection, so the family scatters filled with bitterness and hatred toward one another, the whole home becomes a blot, and woe comes upon the children, especially if the wife shares his same mold of character, even to making the wife wish she had never married.
Mutual Duties in Marriage
The husband's command to love his wife as his own body belongs with the wife loving, respecting, reverencing and being subject to her husband as the church is subject to Christ. She leans upon him in deep love, loves and counsels with him, and stands as queen of the home in a hallowed union, not as a slave. Both cultivate a grateful, submissive spirit and recognize each other's rights, with mutual submission in the fear of God lived in a wise and circumspect walk that redeems the time, understands the will of the Lord, is filled with the Spirit, and gives thanks always. Neither is to make a plea for rulership or try to force the other, for compulsion cannot retain love, and each respects the other's will and individuality rather than submerging or domineering over it.
The love is pledged in lifelong faithfulness so long as life shall last, in which husband and wife leave father, mother, family and friends and cleave to each other. Wholehearted consecration to God does not wean a wife from her husband but draws her closer to him, causing her to love him better than anyone on earth and to make his wishes her wishes, so that husband and wife can live in harmony and happiness. God has given the man the preference as head and the wife is to obey her husband, but headship requires tender love and not bitterness. When believing husbands and wives are ruled by Christ the husband answers God's purpose by being priest in religious service and house-band to bind the family relation together, and such self-sacrificing love leads to the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character.
Both husband and wife are to put on kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness and long-suffering, to walk in love, and to cherish kindness with the determination never to grieve or injure each other. They are to take heed to themselves and live by genuine conversion in communion with God, yielding as clay to be fashioned after the similitude of Christ, with a pure, sweet, peaceful and happy spirit in the home under the control of the Holy Spirit. Loving God supremely leads to loving each other in the Lord and makes home life a preparation for the family above. Harsh words and a wrong spirit displease the Lord and press down and injure the wife, while right treatment would make her an entirely different woman.
Loyalty to Christ comes first, so no earthly marriage can be an excuse for separating from Him. Neither spouse is to give the soul into the other's keeping, but each keeps individual responsibility to God by creation and redemption, if need be forsaking earthly husband or wife in order to obey God and remain faithful to Jesus Christ. Human love in marriage is not destroyed by divine love but is included in it, refined, purified, elevated and ennobled. It bears its precious fruit only when united with the divine nature, trained to grow heavenward, and kept pure and noble by loving service to God.
Blessings and Church Union
When the instruction is heeded, married life is pure and elevated, guarded by holy love in a united life that glorifies God. Marital love and harmony are ordained by God, and divine love purifies and ennobles human love within a home where the husband nourishes and cherishes his wife after Christ's care for the church and the family grows in Christian character. Mutual faithfulness and self-sacrificing love that cherishes the wife as one's own body belong to such a God-glorifying home.
Marriage lived this way represents the life of heaven, is a foretaste of heaven, and is a preparation for the family above. Where it is obeyed there would be no unhappy families, for human love is not destroyed by divine love but included in it, refined and purified, elevated and ennobled, bearing its precious fruit only when united with the divine nature, trained to grow heavenward, and kept pure and noble by loving service to God. Families here are then a symbol of the great family above, and Christian homes ordered on God's plan help form Christian character through a sanctifying family influence.
Such self-sacrificing love leads to the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character, for it is sanctified and ennobling rather than degrading. It cherishes and honors the wife and makes constant effort to bring her happiness, shown in attentive companionship and appreciation and not merely in words or in valuing her for usefulness. It seeks her health, courage and peace and sustains her with large affections, with the husband as house-band binding wife and children to his heart and as priest of the home cooperating in their wise, tender, loving education in lifelong faithfulness so long as life shall last.
The verse expresses the very close and sacred relation between Christ the bridegroom and head and the church His bride and body, joined as a husband is joined to his own body. Connection with Christ therefore involves connection with His church, and loyalty to Christ demands faithful performance of church duties as a first step in service and training for effort for the world. No one can separate from the church and remain joined to Christ, nor reject those God appointed to lead and bear responsibility without rejecting the help, encouragement and strength God ordained through them.
Christ has married His church to Himself as His bride, having bought her as His own property at infinite cost by giving His blood and life to redeem His people and bind them to Himself in an eternal covenant. That union makes believers sharers in His kingdom as joint heirs, with the assurance they will be loved as God loves His Son. Men are therefore to lean wholly upon Jesus Christ as the source of wisdom, grace and efficiency.
Marriage pictures this spiritual wedlock with Jesus Christ, in which believers are joined to Him with the Word as assurance. That wedlock means pressing through obstacles with hope and strength, joining hands with Him, following where He leads, and doing whatsoever He says with willing obedience. Outward membership alone does not unite a person to Christ, but personal faith brings spiritual union, while unfaithfulness to Him is marital unfaithfulness to God as husband.
The wife is the property of Jesus Christ, bought with a price, and does not belong soul and body to her husband for him to order arbitrarily, domineer, wound and bruise. The husband is bound by his marriage vow to love and cherish her as his own flesh after the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for the salvation of believers.