Ephesians 5:31, commentary and pictures

For this cause a man leaves his father and mother to be joined and united to his wife, so that the two become one flesh. Marriage is a divine institution and solemn covenant ordained for perfect love and perfect harmony, in which husband and wife promise to be as one by joining their interests and affections. That oneness carries mutual duties, with the wife subject to her own husband and reverencing him, and the husband as head loving, nourishing, and cherishing his wife as his own body, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself to sanctify and cleanse it to present it holy and without blemish. The union is a great mystery concerning Christ and the church, presenting marriage as the symbol of the sacred and enduring bond in which Christ as bridegroom, head, and Saviour has joined His bride to Himself in eternal covenant and nourishes her as His own flesh. In the home the husband is head and house-band to bind the family in unity, and the wife is a queen and full part of the union, so the oneness never justifies harm or harsh rule but calls for protecting her well-being while human love is refined, elevated, and kept loving by union with the divine nature.

Marriage Union and Duties

For this cause a man leaves his father and mother to be joined and united to his wife, so that the two become one flesh. Marriage is a divine institution ordained by God for perfect love and perfect harmony. It is a solemn covenant worthy of respect, in which husband and wife promise to be as one, joining their interests and affections rather than separating them.

The one-flesh union carries mutual duties shaped by the pattern of Christ and the church. The wife is to be subject to her own husband in everything as unto the Lord, as the church is subject to Christ, and to respect and reverence him. The husband as head is to love his wife as his own body and as himself, nourishing and cherishing her even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it to sanctify and cleanse it by the washing of water by the word, to present it glorious, holy and without spot, wrinkle, or blemish. When fulfilling God's purpose the husband is head, priest of the household, and house-band to bind wife and children to his heart into unity. The wife is a queen and a full part of the union who loves, respects, and counsels with her husband, not a slave or servant to uncontrolled passions.

The union never justifies conduct that harms or exhausts the wife, but calls the husband to protect her physical and spiritual well-being, with no degrading of her. No harsh overbearing rule is permitted, for it breaks every tie of affection and scatters the family in bitterness and hatred toward one another, with woe to the children and the whole family becoming a blot upon the earth. Human love is not destroyed by divine love but is included in it, refined and purified, elevated and ennobled. It can bear its precious fruit only when united with the divine nature and trained to grow heavenward, and obedience to God's law keeps the bond loving and united. The warmth of true friendship and the love that binds husband and wife is a foretaste of heaven, and Jesus wants happy marriages and happy firesides.

Heeding this instruction makes home life pure and elevated and guarded by holy love. It shapes Christian character, bears witness to the world of a happy Christian home, and serves as a symbol of the family above. These lessons are of the greatest importance yet practiced by but few, and carrying them out to the letter changes families. The duties of husbands and wives to one another are to be studied diligently in the Bible and lived without discouragement, together with bringing up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Husband and wife are to keep their souls in the love of God when trials arise, having the same hope in Christ and serving one Lord undivided in spirit as brother and sister, speaking no word of censure or disrespect of each other before the children. They are to cooperate wisely, tenderly, and lovingly to bring up children, the father regarding the mother with kindness, tenderness, and sympathy and sharing her care of dependent young children, withstanding temptation, watching and praying, keeping communion with God, and living under the molding influence of the Holy Spirit.

Christ and the Church

The becoming one flesh when a man leaves father and mother and is joined to his wife is a great mystery concerning Christ and the church. Marriage presents in symbol the sacred, close and enduring oneness of Christ and the church. Husband and wife are to be one in a unity that images that unity, with the husband to bind the family together into it. When this instruction is heeded, home life is pure and elevated and guarded by holy love.

Christ is the bridegroom, head and Saviour of the body, and the church is the bride, the Lamb's wife and His body. He redeemed His people through His death and joined them to Himself in an eternal covenant, as a husband is joined to his wife. He has married the church unto Himself and bought her as His property. Believers are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones, whom He nourishes and cherishes as His own flesh.

This unity is the glory Christ received from the Father and gives to His disciples, a heavenly oneness divested of worldly policy and sentiment that represents perfection of character. It gives evidence to the world that God sent His Son and loves believers as He loved Christ. When speech and spirit are governed by this word, believers reach a higher standard and their unity has a convincing influence upon the world. Connection with Christ therefore involves connection with His church, making church relationship an obligation not to be lightly regarded. The church is organized for service, and connection with the church is one of the first steps in a life of service to Christ, with loyalty to Christ demanding faithful performance of church duties as training that in a church imbued with the Master's life leads directly to effort for the world.

No one can become independent of God and live apart from the church and still be safe, for Christ and His church are inseparable as husband and wife are one flesh. As fallen angels fell from their high estate through insubordination and desire for independence, so to neglect or despise those God appointed to lead and bear responsibility is to reject the ordained help, encouragement and strength of His people. To pass them by and think light must come through no other channel but direct from God places a person where deception and overthrow are liable to follow, especially when judgment and discrimination have been perverted and one cannot of himself discern the spirits. Unfaithfulness by Christ's people toward Him is like a wife's unfaithfulness to her husband, so believers are to remember that they belong to Christ. The church is to become a sharer in His kingdom as joint heir with Christ, with assurance of being loved as God loves His Son, calling for leaning wholly upon Christ and looking to God as source of wisdom, grace and efficiency instead of asking counsel of man.

Spiritual union with Christ comes through personal faith in Him, not merely outward membership in a church. That spiritual wedlock means being strong, speaking hope and pressing through obstacles. It means resting on the Word as assurance, approaching the Saviour with full assurance of faith with hands joined to His, following where He leads, doing whatsoever He says, and being taught by Him as willingly as by anyone else. Each believer belongs to Jesus Christ by creation and redemption and has an individual responsibility to Him that cannot be submerged in an earthly husband or wife. No one can give the soul into a husband's keeping, because it belongs to Christ, and no earthly marriage relation can excuse separation from her husband Jesus Christ. If need be a wife must forsake her husband, or a husband his wife, to come to the gospel feast, walk in the light, and in faith practice religious principles in loyalty to God, because to turn away to please husband or relatives involves eternal loss.