Matthew 10:35, commentary and pictures

Living in obedience to God and the truth divides even the closest family relationships, so that following Christ brings a cross and trial rather than earthly peace. It sets a man against his father, the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, turning children against parents until a man's enemies are in his own household. The division comes when truth is presented and some yield to the Holy Spirit and obey while others refuse to hear and believe, and it is caused not by Christ or the gospel itself but by truth working upon the heart and by opposition to it. Loyalty to Christ must therefore come before love for father or mother or son or daughter, requiring separation from unbelieving family and friends rather than concession to avoid it, and opposition from relatives is no excuse for turning from the truth. This does not authorize hatred or neglect of parents, for the truth makes the believer more kind, faithful and affectionate, even though conversion changes feelings and loyalties and may bring rejection, cursing or disowning by opposing relatives.

Truth Divides Households

Living in obedience to God and the truth divides even the closest family relationships. Accepting Christ brings trials and discouragements inside the family, with the part that refuses to believe set in enmity against those who do believe. Obedience to the will of God therefore involves a cross rather than earthly peace, for Christ's sword is the conflict that follows when people respond differently to the truth. The division sets a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. In this way children are turned against parents and in-laws against in-laws, so that a man's enemies are those of his own household.

The variance comes when truth is presented and members of the same household respond differently to it. Some yield to the influence of the Holy Spirit, repent, open their hearts to Jesus, and obey the requirements of God. Others refuse to hear and believe heaven's message, count the cost of the cross involved in accepting it, turn away from it, and remain in darkness and unbelief. This conflict is not created by Christ himself, by the gospel itself, or by obedient believers. It is created by truth working upon the human heart and by opposition to it, and such divisions have ever been and ever will be.

Believers and unbelievers in the same household serve opposing masters. Satan stirs unbelievers to resist God, so that they misread the good motives of believers as unkindness even as the truth makes those believers more kind, faithful, and affectionate rather than less dutiful. Those who refuse the truth then blame the truth-loving and obedient for creating disunion and dissension, though they did not create it. That opposition is ultimately directed not merely against believers but against Christ. The same variance of father, mother, children, brothers, and sisters against one another also comes when a father shifts responsibility for property onto young and inexperienced children who are not qualified to bear it and whose hearts are unconsecrated. It comes as well when true friends are looked upon as designing enemies while those who separate friends are accepted, and when false ideas continually suggested to the mind by agents of Satan are received.

Loyalty Above Family

Loyalty to Christ must come before love for family, so the believer must love Christ more than father or mother or son or daughter. His words must be given greater authority than a parent's or a child's demands, even when doing so brings painful conflict, scorn, or rejection. Estrangement from close family is among the hardest forms of persecution to bear, yet discipleship may require bearing that cross.

Accepting truth and receiving light from heaven involves a cross and separation from family, neighbors, and those who will not receive it. It requires refusing to make concession to the world or to bind with unbelievers in order to avoid that separation. It means choosing Christ and light from heaven over remaining in darkness and unbelief to avoid separation from family and neighbors.

Opposition from family is no excuse for refusing the gospel or turning from the truth. When honest children of God recognize the truth and obey it, family ties cannot hold them back, because truth is more precious than anything else. Those who recognize its worth overcome fear of relatives and prize truth above life, even when husbands and parents try to keep wives and children from hearing it. The verse does not authorize hatred or neglect of parents. Nor does division mean the believer has become less dutiful, for the truth changes character so that the believer becomes more kind, faithful, and affectionate.

Following Christ can divide a person from close family and friends because conversion changes feelings, motives, and loyalties. Those who accept the truth may be rejected, cursed, or disowned by opposing relatives. Leaving worldly ties and withdrawing from the spiritual influence of unbelieving friends brings pain to both sides. Yet the converted still long for their friends and family to choose Christ, because otherwise the separation will be final and eternal. The worth of their souls calls for seriousness rather than treating them lightly. Loyalty to Christ requires giving up anything that turns the heart from God, since a person cannot belong wholly to both God and the world.

The verse applies when one person accepts the truth and another opposes it, as when a wife and daughter were driven from home for keeping the seventh-day Sabbath. The mother's faithfulness did not mean rejecting her family, for she remained willing to be a faithful wife but would not disobey God or promise to avoid religious meetings. The conflict ended when the husband recognized his cruelty, asked forgiveness, and welcomed them home without restrictions, with the opposition bringing them greater respect and love.