Matthew 18:15, commentary and pictures

When a brother wrongs you or you think he has sinned against you, you are to go to him alone in private and tell him his fault, and if he listens you have won him back and restored him. This private visit is the first binding step that must be done first and fully before witnesses or the church are involved, and until it is done no one is justified in telling others or spreading the matter. The approach must be in Christ's spirit with plain honesty and love, meekness, humility, kindness and respect, aiming to help and save rather than to shame, condemn or take revenge. Spreading the fault to others by gossip, talebearing, faultfinding and complaining is forbidden, for it aggravates the wrong, poisons minds and harms the church. If he will not hear, one or two others are to be taken and then the matter told to the church for binding decision, yet the whole work aims at restoration, so that when the brother is gained the breach is healed, a soul is saved, and heaven rejoices.

Private Meeting Commanded

If a brother does wrong against another, or is believed to have done wrong, the command is to go to him privately and tell him his fault between the two alone, plainly and gently, with the aim to restore and reclaim rather than to shame, condemn or take revenge. If he listens, the brother is won back, gained as a friend, and the relationship and breach are healed, and this private dealing applies whatever the character of the offense, including misunderstandings and personal injuries. Seeking reconciliation in this way is both duty and privilege, to be done in Christ's spirit of care for the lost, entrusting the case to God who judges righteously, and disputes between Christians are to be settled within the church rather than brought before unbelievers in court. When the difficulty is thus settled, praying together brings God's blessing and heaven rejoices in the restored unity, and if private correction is refused the careful process continues to witnesses and then to the church, with separation from fellowship only if he rejects the church's reclaiming effort.

This private visit is the first and binding step that must be done first and fully before taking one or two others, before telling the church, and before any decisive move against an offender, and until it is done no one is justified in telling others of a brother's mistakes or spreading the matter. It forbids being quick to catch up unkind suppositions, delighting to find spot or stain to report, speaking disparagingly of a brother such as a church-school teacher before other members and even in the presence of children, and talking freely and bitterly without clearly understanding the difficulty. The wrong is to be corrected privately and directly, humbly and sincerely, without exposing him or making reproof seem like revenge, and without letting resentment grow into malice or bitter words that poison minds and harm the church. A tender, prayerful, frank approach in Christian love can clear misunderstandings, heal the breach and win the brother, with the Spirit of God convicting the one at fault, and only when these steps are carried out in Christ's spirit according to every instruction does Heaven ratify the church's decision; this is Christ's plain and safe plan, and disregarding it to speak of others' faults instead spreads evil and brings condemnation.

The direction holds even when a brother is only thought or supposed to be in error, including hearsay, suspicion and criticism, and whether or not the one concerned has a personal grievance. The one concerned must go directly to the one supposed to be in error, state the matter openly, tell him that reports are circulating, explain the whole matter, ask him about the facts, and give him kind, patient room to answer and explain, rather than discussing it with others, speaking disparagingly, or spreading a hearsay report far and wide first. Reports may be false and a simple explanation may clear the difficulty entirely, showing there is nothing from which such conclusions could be reached and correcting misconstrued motives, thereby preventing harm to a brother's or sister's influence, avoiding false charges and evil reports, and protecting reputation. Doing this may gain the brother, hide a multitude of sins, and preserve the relationship without needless reproach, and children are to be taught not to repeat unreliable reports or speak ill of anyone, since harmful insinuations and words against those doing the Lord's work call for repentance and confession.

The instruction is to be followed carefully, strictly and to the letter, with not one item disregarded, like faithful soldiers obeying their Captain on pain of severest censure for disobedience, for Christ took special pains to give these directions to the church. Hearing and obeying this word is building the house upon the rock and abiding in safety amid storm and tempest of temptation, while disregarding what Christ has spoken is building on sand whose fall when the storm comes will be great, and the practical lesson of the whole of Matthew 18 is to be hung in memory, often read and pondered, obeyed and woven into Christian experience. That obeying means keeping the holy law by loving God with all heart and soul and mind and strength and loving neighbor as self, cultivating the garden of the soul, removing every weed and tare sown in neglect, bringing thoughts into captivity to Christ and purifying them, instead of being occupied finding weeds in a neighbor's garden or scattering words recklessly without considering where they lodge and what they produce. No decisive move is lawful until the charge has been thoroughly investigated — whether he willfully transgressed God's law, was dishonest in deal or trade, untruthful, deceptive, licentious, severe and overbearing and abusive in family and toward neighbors and brethren, penurious, selfish, covetous, doubting, faultfinding, talebearing, talking of brethren's faults, magnifying wrongs, or bitter — and until those dealing ask what course was pursued toward him and read Christ's rules before the accusers, communicating with the appointed conference president, conferring with him, considering the matter at an appointed time, and dealing only with great wisdom and in the fear of God, with much humility and earnest humble prayer. It is the Bible rule to be followed to the letter in dealing with erring students, erring church members, helpers and physicians in health institutions who fail to walk uprightly, requiring patient personal labor for a suitable time with exactly the diligence one would want for oneself, dealing as one would have the Lord deal, with a heart softened by God's love and seeking in Christ's spirit to reform and save; no member is to be treated as a rebel or cut off in zeal to expel without time and labor to save, but if after such labor great or small refuse to submit to discipline they are to be separated as unworthy of fellowship, since influential wrongdoing must not be concealed or passed over but carefully investigated by judicious persons so institutions are purged of every evil and God's blessing can rest upon them.

Loving Honest Approach

The visit must be made in the spirit of Christ, with frank plainness and Christian love, meekness and gentleness, humility and kindness, pity and compassion, tenderness, courtesy and respect. Its aim is to help, save and reclaim the one at fault and to settle the difficulty, not to shame or condemn him, not to punish him or take revenge, not to defend self or to find fault in self-importance. The wrong is to be pointed out privately and kindly, plainly telling him his fault and its danger, whatever the character of the offense, so that misunderstandings and personal injuries can be removed without exposing him or spreading the report to harm the church. Reproof offered in that tender, humble, earnest spirit is far more likely to succeed, for human wrath does not work God's righteousness and the erring can be restored in no other way.

Manner, look, gesture, word and tone must avoid pride, self-sufficiency, self-exaltation, contempt, disdain, overbearing harshness, anger, bitterness, reproach, railing accusation, hate, ill-will and sourness, while still speaking with utmost seriousness and solemnity. Resentment must not be allowed to grow into malice or bitter words that poison other minds. Success depends greatly on the spirit of the reproof, so the work is to be done with earnest prayer for a lowly mind, praying with and for the person and trusting the Saviour to soften hearts, convict of sin and open a way through the difficulty. Angels go before to prepare the heart to receive it, and any good accomplished is to be credited to God alone and not taken as reason for self-credit.

The fault must be stated openly and fully, laying all the facts before him and sifting the matter to the bottom so he knows of what he is accused. He must be asked whether he is sure he is right and invited to compare views, given opportunity to answer for himself, to explain matters, to clear himself if innocent or to correct what is wrong, with his word received as one seeking God's will. What seemed a fault may thus prove to be a virtue and bring light and blessing to both, and to accuse and condemn without such private labor, by misstating him, watching critically with jealousy and suspicion, hunting up evidence, or pouring severe condemnatory reproaches upon him like a judge without letting him speak, is unjust and without mercy, charity and wise discipline.

The one who has been wronged must take the initiative to go and seek reconciliation rather than brood over the hurt or let resentment grow. If a brother seems to have something against him, he is to ask what he has done and seek to make it right without blame or reproach, and when his own work or actions have discouraged another or caused misunderstanding he has a Bible duty to go directly and do all he can to remove it. The meeting calls for confessing personal bitterness or malice, admitting one's own faults humbly, forgiving the perceived injury, asking forgiveness, and uniting in prayer, and everything possible is to be done to bring reconciliation before offering a gift to God. Once that part is done the gift may be offered knowing it will be accepted, and after the difficulty is settled praying together brings God's blessing.

Refusing Gossip Exposure

The verse forbids telling the fault to others, gossiping, evil-speaking, talebearing, faultfinding, magnifying mistakes, complaining to ministers or others, and talking freely and bitterly about a brother without clearly understanding the difficulty. One who thinks a brother has done wrong, such as a church-school teacher, must not be quick to catch up unkind suppositions and speak disparagingly of him before other church members and even in the presence of children. Until the private meeting alone has been done, no one is justified in telling others of a brother's mistakes or spreading reports and suspicions, for this is Christ's plain and safe plan and disregarding it spreads evil and brings condemnation. The wrong is to be corrected without exposing him or making the reproof seem like revenge, approached humbly and sincerely, and resentment must not be allowed to grow into malice or bitter words that poison others' minds. Such spreading aggravates the wrong, poisons minds, destroys confidence, brings suspicion, harmful talk and division, and harms the church, while a tender, prayerful private approach with frankness and Christian love can clear up misunderstandings, heal the breach, win the brother, and let the Spirit convict the one at fault.

Ministers, officers, lay members and men in positions of trust must not open their ears to the errors and faults of brethren before the private step is strictly and fully obeyed, for to allow such talebearing displeases God. When anyone brings a complaint about a brother or sister, they must be asked whether he has gone alone and told him his fault privately, whether each step was kept in order, and whether the offender refused to hear. If he has failed in any particular, not a word is to be listened to, the ear must be closed, no reproach against a neighbor taken up, and the talebearer rebuked and required to obey the Scripture. Willing listeners give evil, backbiting tongues a fruitful field for biting and devouring one another, whereas without willing listeners evil tongues would cease for lack of a field. Closing the ears to gossip and censure, refusing evil-speaking and a censorious spirit which are among the greatest evils in the church and the workings of Satan, brings a flood of light, closes the door to a flood of evil, saves many souls, prevents many church trials, and preserves harmony, unity, love and mutual confidence.

The matter must not be made public to the world, to unbelievers, to enemies of the faith, or to civil courts before the appointed steps of going alone, then taking one or two others, then telling the church, have been taken. Disputes between Christians are to be dealt with within the church and settled among themselves or by the church, entrusting the case to God who judges righteously, and even when wronged a Christian should be willing to suffer loss rather than expose a fellow believer's sins before the world. Publicizing differences to the world gives Satan occasion to use division against the gospel, exposes members' failings, and lets church trials arise that loving private dealing in pity and compassion would have prevented. Going to law and resorting to contention, strife and lawsuits instead of going privately and alone to talk the matter over in Christ's spirit and pray together puts self-interest before love for Christ, often over an imagined invasion of rights stirred by Satan to cause distrust, alienation and malice. Such strife disgraces the cause of truth, exposes the church to ridicule by enemies, lets the powers of darkness triumph, pierces the wounds of Christ afresh and puts Him to open shame, and by ignoring the authority God gave to the church shows contempt for God, while pride, self-esteem and love of self must not hinder the humble duty.

Private reproofs of private sins must remain confidential between the two alone, covering the matter from public notice. If he accepts the admonition and the trouble is settled, the brother is regained as a friend without exposing his faults or prompting others to judge his actions suspiciously, and a repentant sinner's restoration brings joy in heaven and has lasting value. The person is to be approached kindly, patiently and lovingly with room for explanation, which may clarify the matter and keep from a false charge or an evil report, preserving the relationship and avoiding needless reproach. This is God's plan for dealing with wrongdoing and no one can improve on it, for it protects the reputation of the one at fault and the repentant and gives the wrongdoer the chance to hear and make things right. The guilty person alone is to be confronted, and keeping that confidence protects him when repentant.

Witnesses Church Discipline

If private appeal fails, one or two others are to be taken along so that every word may be established and tender labor for the soul may continue in humility and meekness with hearts throbbing in love. If he still will not listen, the matter is to be told to the church, and if he neglects to hear the church he is to be as a heathen man and a publican, separated and cut off from church fellowship. This removal from membership is lawful only after the private step and then the witnesses and then the church have been faithfully followed in order, and church officers and committees must not act before then. When every instruction has been carried out in Christ's spirit, Heaven ratifies the church's decision in binding and loosing.

Discipline aims to reclaim and save rather than to shame, condemn, or punish on human judgment, and no decisive move is lawful until the charge has been thoroughly investigated. Investigation asks whether the law of God was willfully transgressed, whether in dishonesty in deal or trade, untruthfulness, deception, licentiousness, severity and overbearing abusiveness in family and toward neighbors and brethren, penuriousness, selfishness, covetousness, doubting, faultfinding, talebearing, talking of brethren's faults, magnifying wrongs, or bitterness. The erring must be labored for with the same diligence one would want for oneself, with a heart softened by love for souls, seeking reform in Christ's spirit, taking time and personal labor rather than cutting off in zeal to expel. That labor is to continue patiently for a suitable time in great wisdom and the fear of God, with much humility, sorrow, earnest humble prayer, careful consideration of facts, and strict honesty without partiality, haste, harshness, prejudice, or self-assumed authority, conferring with appointed leadership such as the conference president at an appointed time.

The church of God in its organized capacity is the highest tribunal on earth for preserving due order, union, and purity, with appointed elders local and traveling to oversee, reprove, exhort, rebuke, and comfort. No member is to take a case into his own hands, spread an uncertain charge, follow his own judgment, or let those without love for the truth have greater influence than chosen servants, but is to lay the case in the hands of the church and let the church bear responsibility. Remission of sins is the prerogative of God alone, and the church's binding and loosing is censure by reproving, rebuking, and exhorting with all longsuffering and doctrine, declaring what is written concerning lying, Sabbath breaking, bearing false witness, stealing, and idolatry, which censure is removed when the one in error confesses and repents. Those appointed to guard spiritual interests must be wise representative men taught of God with the inward working of the Holy Spirit, manifesting the Christ-life and spiritual discernment, setting example in love, respect, courtesy, and removal of bitterness, lest in human judgment they censure those who should be commended. Persistent unrepentant wrongdoing that would corrupt the whole must be purged, and those stubbornly remaining at variance are to be suspended until they can harmonize.

The rule of private address first concerns a personal trespass against the one seeking reconciliation, a wrong committed against that person, which is to be addressed directly rather than made public. It does not govern public misconduct that threatens the welfare of the church or harms and misleads the church, which calls for public reproof and, if the case requires, for bringing the matter before experienced members and the whole church so the church is not left deceived. Nor does it apply where there has been no trespass against the one giving reproof, or to sins between a person and God alone, which are confessed to God.

The same steps apply to helpers, students, and workers in God's institutions who plainly understand the rules yet keep disregarding them: go alone and talk of the fault, then take two or three others, then set aside and separate from the institution if he still will not hear. When a helper is thought at fault, the one in charge must go directly and alone instead of ordering dismissal, acting on impulse, or acting on reports without investigation, dealing in counsel with a fellow leader who shares the decision, with reasons stated clearly and with prayer together, to retain and restore because the Lord reproves whom He loves. Patient personal labor for a suitable time applies likewise to physicians in health institutions who fail to walk uprightly and honor the principles of followers of Christ, with careful investigation by judicious persons, and if great or small refuse to submit to discipline and change course after admonition, they are to be separated from church fellowship as unworthy of it. Such separation is right because the character and atmosphere surrounding one who will not come to right terms affects the whole institution, and wrongdoing in a position of influence must not be concealed or passed over without action lest health institutions retain evil and others be misled.

Scope and Special Applications

The rule holds whatever the character of the offense, covering misunderstandings, personal injuries, mistakes and suspected errors among brethren, fellow workers, teachers, school heads, helpers and children, and it binds even when the one who reports has no personal grievance of his own. One who thinks a brother has done wrong, such as a church-school teacher, must go and tell him his fault between the two alone, rather than being quick to catch up unkind suppositions and speaking disparagingly of him before other church members and even in the presence of children, or talking freely and bitterly about him without clearly understanding the difficulty. Concerns about another worker's errors are to be discussed with that person kindly and privately rather than spread as reports that can become exaggerated and cause harm, and until the private meeting has been done no one is justified in telling others of a brother's mistakes. The erring person is to be told directly, gently, calmly without anger, in humility, sincerity and Christlike love and sympathy, given a chance to explain since reports may be false and a simple explanation may clear the difficulty, and if he listens the relationship is restored and a friend is gained for the peace of the church.

Charges must be investigated with the accused present, stating the offense and the reasons openly before those responsible so the accused knows whereof he is accused and can answer, setting before him the faults or errors that would lead to action against him and sifting the matter to the bottom to find whether the report is true. The required course is to communicate and confer with appointed leaders such as the conference president, consider the matter at an appointed time, and deal with erring ones only with great wisdom and in the fear of God, with much humility and earnest humble prayer. A leader who hears a report of an error must not condemn or criticize until he has seen or communicated with that person, and church leaders must consider whether the Bible rules have been followed before taking serious action, for they are not free to remove a member by their own judgment or by hasty dismissal without a hearing. There must be no acting on reports from enemies of Christ and the truth, on hearsay, on words of censure from unbelievers taken as verity, by secret underhand plans devised while supposing to be a friend, by watching critically with jealousy and suspicion, interpreting every unclear act as dishonest, hunting up evidence, misstating, publishing errors without positive ground, pouring severe condemnatory reproaches in a hard harsh overbearing manner like a judge without letting him speak, holding aloof while passing judgment, or seeking to separate or discharge a child of God without openly stating reasons. To accuse and condemn without careful thorough investigation and without kind Christian personal labor as fathers in Israel with love, sympathy, pitying tenderness and prayer is unjust, shows lack of mercy, Christian charity and wise discipline, reveals zeal without knowledge untempered by love, grieves angels, bestows sympathy on those acting under Satan's power, makes one a partaker with accusers of the brethren with the charge recorded in heaven, and even if pursued with those truly in error would tear churches limb from limb.

When children offend they should be reproved alone rather than before others, with reason and forbearance, in kindness yet with decision. Private reproof has far greater influence on their minds and has a reforming effect, causing them to ponder in their hearts, to feel that influence even when absent, and to gain a principle to do right, for children yearn for affection and love and encouragement, and kind words and acts when actually needed benefit them more than indulgence at another time. Reproof in company causes a spirit to rise within them to brave it out and not show they are affected, and that spirit grows until submissive, broken feelings become rare. When one's own work or actions discourage a fellow worker or cause a misunderstanding, there is a Bible duty to go to that person and do all possible to remove it rather than spread it among others. Likewise one who has a grievance or objection must bring it to the person concerned before telling others, speaking directly and privately rather than spreading the matter or involving someone equally weak in spiritual understanding in ways that weaken faith.

Believers must not remain silent, overlook wrong, or turn it into fault-finding, since faithful direct warning in Christlike meekness and truth seeks to save the person from deception, ruin and spiritual death. Overlooking wrongdoing makes the silent share responsibility for it, and to leave one unwarned while carrying surmisings among others is a cruel work that God condemns, because none is righteous and all share the same sinful nature and are liable to mistakes with no one perfect, Jesus died for the erring that they might be forgiven, and the work toward them is not to condemn but to save. Going directly to the one in error alone to kindly point out mistakes and show where he errs is true Christian love that cannot suffer wrong upon a brother, requiring charity, helping, strengthening, forbearance, daily consecration, and refusing to act on hearsay without making every effort to find whether reports are correct. Neglect to do this is unfaithfulness with no special evidence of sincere Christlike love without it, for going directly is a cross to the natural heart that many will not lift, and shunning it leads to disregarding the words of Christ, partiality, hypocrisy, talking over the errors of those who love God and truth and souls, want of frankness and sincerity leading to prevarication and deception, judging and accusing and condemning, picking flaws in words or deportment, setting others to think and spread evil, and stabbing in the dark; if the cross were lifted every time there would be a great change in institutions and in the church.

Unity Restoration Blessings

When the erring one listens and confesses, the brother is gained, won back and reclaimed as a friend, the breach is healed, many sins are covered, a soul is saved from death, and heaven rejoices in the restored unity. The private meeting is to be gentle and in the Spirit of Christ, honest and humble and frank in Christian love and tenderness, explaining the fault and its dangers fully so the one accused knows the charge and can answer, clear himself if innocent, or correct what is wrong. It applies whatever the character of the offense, to misunderstandings and personal injuries, and seeking reconciliation in this way is both duty and privilege; after the difficulty is settled, praying together brings God's blessing. Done in this spirit instead of following unsanctified impulse, passion, criticism, evil reports, resentment, malice, public exposure or revenge, it heals wounds before they become incurable, explains misunderstandings, prevents suffering, saves souls instead of discouraging and destroying them, stops accusation and criticism, reflects Christ's meekness and humility, closes the door where Satan enters to wound the soul, and guards against offending one of God's little ones.

Prompt loving dealing in private preserves peace, harmony and confidence, brings believers closer to God, and lets light shine in good works, while shutting out Satan the accuser. Faithfully speaking directly to the offender rather than spreading the matter to others or criticizing one another prevents church disputes and trials, dissension, misunderstanding, alienation, strife, suspicion, harmful talk, division, bitterness, anger and estrangement. The aim is never condemnation but reconciliation and making the wrong right, and this specific guide for church order was given because human perversity can produce conflict.

Neglecting the rule leaves alienation and division where none should exist among God's children, hardens hearts, fixes prejudice, and creates contention. Gossiping about a fault instead of seeking the brother privately, spreading or repeating evil reports and suspicions, disregards Christ's plain safe plan and brings condemnation, censure and church discipline, for those who so depart from a plain Thus saith the Lord are themselves in need of discipline. No member is to be treated as a rebel until every possible means has been used to bring about understanding, yet refusing to lift this cross to the natural heart leads to unfaithfulness, partiality, hypocrisy, want of frankness and sincerity, prevarication and deception; hearing and obeying is building the house upon the rock in safety amid storm and tempest, while disregarding what Christ has spoken is building on sand whose fall will be great.

The direction belongs to Christ's broader teaching in Matthew 18, with its positive principles for conduct in every case and circumstance, calling for thorough conversion, humility before God, turning the mind from self, and true Christian practice. There greatness is inward spiritual excellence rather than position, splendor or authority or striving for supremacy, shown in sympathy and love to others, care for little ones and lost sheep, personal effort for those outside Christ, singleness of purpose and purity of motive. The same chapter teaches repeated forgiveness, relief, courage and hope through seeking God in prayer, confessing sin, repenting and walking humbly to find pardon, with united prayer and cooperation with Christ and His angels to win souls, enlighten the ignorant, relieve the oppressed and bring men to repentance. The whole practical lesson is to be hung in memory, often read and pondered, obeyed daily and woven into experience by loving God with all heart, soul, mind and strength and neighbor as self, cultivating the garden of the soul, removing every weed Satan has sown, bringing thoughts into captivity to Christ, and weighing words carefully instead of hunting weeds in a neighbor's garden, thus preparing the church below for endless life above.