Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
Romans 12:10 commands warm, tender, family-like affection toward one another and giving others precedence in honor as a practical grace for daily life. To prefer one another in honor means to honor others above self rather than seeking honor, to esteem others better than self, to care for their interests, and to show meekness and lowliness of heart in a life freed from selfishness. The love it requires is sincere and unselfish without hypocrisy, hating evil and holding to good, refusing to excuse wrongdoing or compromise with sin while willingly sacrificing to save the sinner. It makes those brought together in church life one family and one body, united as Christ is one with the Father, and its neglect brings harshness, discord and strife that dishonor God and keep Him from imparting power. It is kept in the home by forgetting self to make others happy in even little things, and as Abraham showed by waiving seniority and right and giving Lot the choice, while it is broken by selfishly grasping all advantage as Lot did in choosing all the well-watered plain for himself.
Meaning of the Words
Romans 12:10 commands warm, tender, sincere family-like affection and brotherly love, with believers giving one another precedence in honor rather than seeking honor for themselves. It is a practical Christian grace to be carried out in daily life, and heeding it would bring a great transformation in the church. In its setting this mutual regard belongs alongside diligence in work, fervor in spirit and service to the Lord, and among the cautions and exhortations about gifts and conduct that make the church a light to the world. It is part of the call to live together as members of one body, each doing the work appointed according to gifts received from God, with different gifts and roles joined as one in Christ, and practicing it is vital to prevent discord and strife and to honor God.
Preferring one another in honor means honoring others above self as self-denial, esteeming others better than self and caring for their interests instead of only one's own. It requires meekness and lowliness of heart and a changed life free from selfish thoughts, feelings and motives, which is evidence of true Christian character. It means refusing selfish thinking and striving for personal advancement, for the best place and the highest place and leadership, and instead staying faithful to the responsibility already given, which is all that can be managed for the good of the church. It means being meek, teachable, obedient and kind, willing to learn from others instead of only wanting to teach and lead, while neglect wrecks souls on self-thinking and obedience gives strength through Christ abiding within to help the helpless and oppressed, to bear fruit to God's glory, to be conformed to Christ's character and to become a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to God. It is expressed in modest, kind speech and consideration for others' feelings, and stands against jealousy, suspicion and evil speaking that divide fellow believers. It means a Christian life shown in Christian thoughts, words and deportment with divine completeness of character in Christ and a sense of binding, far-reaching obligation to God and fellow men because life is not one's own, seeking to help, strengthen and bless associates with mercy, tenderness, compassion and pity, learning in Christ's school not how to esteem self or receive honor from men but how to cherish the meekness of Christ in a battle against self and selfishness striving for mastery where triumph is possible only through Christ.
This brotherly love is Christian courtesy and true humility of mind from a heart touched by the love of Jesus. Because God's children are citizens of heaven, Christ's blood-bought family, and every soul is precious in His sight as fine gold, believers must prefer one another in honor. He who has the Spirit of Christ will have modesty of demeanor, and words will reveal that the Holy Spirit is cherished. Christians will not be bold, rash, dictatorial, boastful, denunciatory and revengeful, but will manifest an unassuming, gentle spirit, discerning and appreciating the virtues of others. They will give due respect to all saints, counting them members of the royal family, children of the heavenly King, speaking kindly in conversation to young or old, high or low, learned or unlearned, with words not like piercing swords, and refusing to humble brethren by accusing and condemning them for faults or errors. Having this courtesy controls the temper and sweetens the disposition, calls believers to take light from the Word of God and unite in companies to work for others, and requires courtesy and true Christian politeness rather than acting from strife or self-glory. This kindness expressed through Christian courtesy in words and manner softens roughness and forms a foundation for happiness at home, where a wife and mother's consistent gentleness and courtesy can bind husband and children together in bonds of love that grow stronger each day.
Context in Romans Twelve
The mutual regard belongs alongside diligence in work, fervor in spirit and service to the Lord. It stands together with rejoicing in hope, patience in trouble and constant prayer. It stands together with sharing with needy believers, with giving and generosity and with hospitality to strangers. Keeping it requires self-sacrifice and duty at the post at all times, enduring hardness as a good soldier of the cross, with a character blameless, not self-willed, a lover of hospitality and of good men. It is practiced by doing good, being rich in good works, ready to distribute and willing to share, as a wise and safe investment that secures treasure in heaven and gives title to eternal life, by firmly resisting spending on frivolous gratifications and useless ornaments and turning every penny, shilling and pound into channels that glorify God by relieving the poorly clad, hungry, naked and comfortless. It belongs with the other precious gifts and duties to be desired and practiced, giving with simplicity, ruling with diligence, showing mercy with cheerfulness, abhorring evil and cleaving to good.
It belongs to the teaching that believers have differing gifts according to grace and different offices, yet are many members joined as one body in Christ and members of one another. Each has a special work and an appointed place to fill with the gift appointed, with different members fitted by capability for different classes of work. No one is to suppose a special gift is above all other gifts, but each is to join that gift with the gifts of others to make them helpful and to appreciate the gifts of others as essential for advancing the cause. All blend together into a complete whole, and those gifts studied prayerfully make the church the light of the world, so that the sons of God rightly represent Him and His cause in the midst of rebels and enemies who neglect His will and despise His honor. Those brought together in church capacity are thus to be one as Christ is one with the Father, united understandingly and intelligently, and practicing this love is vital to prevent discord and strife and to honor God.
It belongs to presenting the body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, and being transformed by the renewing of the mind rather than conformed to the world, so as to prove the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. It belongs to thinking soberly and not more highly of self than ought, to wearing Christ's yoke and drawing under His leading, with each person a sound member that builds the perfection of the spiritual body as the perfection of the physical body depends on the perfection of the individual organs. It belongs to loving without dissimulation, abhorring evil and cleaving to good, with souls purified by obeying truth through the Spirit and loving brethren fervently with a pure heart. It refuses to strengthen any evil work by influence of pen or voice on the side of evil, forbids any retaliatory thought, spirit, word or action toward those who tempt, discourage, criticize or suspect, and shows unity of action in obedience, with steadfast purpose, purity of heart, and the meekness and lowliness of Christ. It requires harmony between profession and practice, not mere sentiment or outward connection with the church and zeal in church work, but truth cherished in the heart, Christ abiding within through wholehearted surrender, and a kind, useful, helpful spirit, standing fast through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth while leaning only on God. Where this love exists the life reveals the fruit of the Spirit, a zeal according to knowledge in harmony with Bible truth and duty, and holiness unto the Lord, with lowliness of mind esteeming others better than self, caring for the interests of others, mutual submission clothed with humility, likemindedness with the same love, of one accord and one mind with the mind of Christ, disciplined into harmony of action to see eye to eye.
Sincere Love Opposing Evil
The love commanded is sincere and unselfish, without hypocrisy, prompted by the Spirit of Christ and not by deceitful pretense. It requires souls purified by obeying truth through the Spirit, truth cherished in the heart, and Christ abiding within through wholehearted surrender, so that profession and practice agree and life bears the fruit of the Spirit in holiness unto the Lord. Keeping it calls for self-sacrifice, steadfast purpose, purity of heart, and the meekness and lowliness of Christ, doing duty at one's post at all times and enduring hardness as a good soldier of the cross. It forbids any retaliatory thought, spirit, word or action toward those who tempt, discourage, criticize or suspect, and forbids consulting one's own wishes and ease and pleasing self, requiring instead leaning only on God and standing fast in salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth. Where this love exists there is a kind, useful, helpful spirit with zeal according to knowledge in harmony with Bible truth and duty, shown in giving with simplicity, ruling with diligence, showing mercy with cheerfulness, diligence in business, fervor in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patience in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer, distributing to the necessity of saints, hospitality, doing good, being rich in good works, ready to distribute and willing to share; where it is lacking unbelievers see the wide difference between profession and practice and lose confidence in the truth and in those who profess it.
This love is kind, compassionate and forgiving, yet it never excuses wrongdoing nor agrees with a sinner instead of faithfully showing the person the errors. It hates evil and holds to good, has no harmony with sin and makes no peace with it, refusing to compromise even if friendship or association with the ungodly must be sacrificed. At the same time the spirit of Christ in it is willing to make any sacrifice to save the sinner.
It is proved daily in character and experience, for daily exhibition of character proves whether faith is true or spurious. Being kindly affectioned with brotherly love and preferring one another in honour means showing sincerity by pure, clean words full of sympathy, tenderness and love. Love does not end with soft words, for those out of the right way need words of reproof and sharp rebuke to bring them back, because moral renovation must take place in every heart or souls will perish in their sins. This tenderness especially belongs to correction, treating brethren with affectionate kindness, patience, respect and an unselfish spirit with the tenderness and love of Jesus, safeguarding their interests, ending gossip and evil reports, and displaying to the world true discipleship. It therefore forbids sharp, rasping, wicked words and spirit in reproof, every unkind criticism, prideful self-esteem that lifts up self as faultless while magnifying the faults of others, and withdrawing confidence from a brother because of an evil report, accusation or supposition of wrong, which breaks the law to love the neighbor as self.
It rejects jealousy and the desire for pre-eminence and follows the example of unselfish service given by Christ, who though Lord of Heaven lived among the humble, ministered to the needy and afflicted, and gave His life, and His followers are to serve others in the same spirit.
Unity Through Mutual Honor
Those brought together in church capacity are made one family and one body, one as Christ is one with the Father, united understandingly and intelligently as members of one another. As members of the heavenly family they love one another as brothers and give honor to one another first, helping and strengthening each other. The children of God around the world are one family joined not only by blood but as worshipers of the true God, governed by love and conciliation across nationalities, with national prejudice and jealousy broken down so believers of every nation are joined in one mind and heart. Receiving the truth leads to esteeming others better than self and showing kindness, courtesy, uniform courtesy, yielding of honor and advantage, doing to others as one would wish to be done by, and looking to the interests of others with charity that does not seek its own.
The command requires lowliness of mind, mutual submission clothed with humility, esteeming others better than self and caring for the interests of others. It means kindly affection with brotherly love that prefers one another in honor instead of thinking of self more highly than ought and trying to bear rule over one another. It is learned by looking to Jesus and learning from Him, producing respect, confidence and love between fellow workers with unity and heart bound to heart, removing suspicion and distrust into heavenly fragrance and sweet harmony. It refuses selfish thinking and striving for personal advancement, for the best place and the highest place and leadership, and instead stays faithful to the responsibility already given, being meek, teachable, obedient and kind, willing to learn from others instead of only wanting to teach and lead. Men of God's appointment are sustained only as they study and do this principle in small matters as well as large, working humbly while seeking wisdom from God who is high and lifted up, since neglect opens positive danger from every device to weaken them and make them exalted in their own opinion and gain power over them. It calls the church to be likeminded with the same love, of one accord and one mind with the mind of Christ, disciplined into harmony of action to see eye to eye, with the proud carnal heart subdued so reproof, exhortation and rebuke can be received.
Because the heavenly Father loves with infinite tenderness, loving Him requires loving His children, for he that loves not his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. Those who call God Father as children of one family must therefore love one another with tender brotherly affection and prefer one another in honor, with the tenderness and mercy Jesus revealed. This requires softened hearts from thoughts of God's daily bounties, sympathy that makes neighbors' interests one's own, gratitude, humility, long-suffering, self-sacrifice, forbearance, mercy and forgiveness, a love not returned only for favors received but reigning as a ruling principle. As a ruling principle it modifies character, governs impulses, controls passions, subdues enmity, elevates the being, sweetens life, gives happiness in fortune or frown, adorns the soul with true nobility, assimilates life to the Master, and is as broad as the world and as high as Heaven in harmony with angel workers. Without it, despite honor, intelligence and refinement, there is deficiency in true goodness and unfitness for Heaven where all is love and unity.
The instruction is given to cure lack of unity and lack of love among church members, a condition that grieves the angels and the Spirit of God. Obeying it means walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself, being like-minded toward one another, and glorifying God with one mind and one mouth. It belongs to the life of a church whose members have different gifts and roles but are joined as one body in Christ, and practicing it is vital to prevent discord and strife and to honor God. Mutual regard helps preserve the peace of Christ, while the desire to exalt self brings discord and dissension among believers. Neglect leads to harshness and roughness that misrepresent Christ, while practicing this love and honoring one another builds unity.
Failure in warm brotherly affection and giving honor rather than working in a haphazard, discordant way dishonors God by discord and strife, keeps Him from giving His people the power He desires to impart, and keeps Him from glorifying His name before the world and before the heavenly universe. This duty is of vital importance for everyone laboring in ministry and medical-missionary lines and for every Christian, and must be practiced now above all other times, yet it is largely left out of practice. Disunion and contention, even unexpressed, drive out the Spirit of God and the peace and love of the church, springing from selfishness in self-esteem or longing for approbation by unworthy means. The verse forbids lack of love, severity toward those supposed to be in error, sensitivity to blame, hints and sharp criticisms, blindness to evident self-errors, and lessening another's influence to build up self, which pleases the enemy and grieves Christ. It forbids strife and alienation, whispering, slandering, evil speaking and backbiting among ministers and workers pressed together heart close to heart as honest, anointed, chosen ones, cultivating love, respect, confidence and courtesy, because God will not and cannot work for His name's glory when His professed children live divided.
All masterful, dominating, ruling power over the Lord's people is a strange and dangerous element, not of God, another gospel and not the righteousness of Christ, a spoil to the church that must no longer be allowed. All who hold a position in the church as shepherds must therefore represent the great Shepherd in brotherly love and mutual honor, carrying the work upon a higher plane of action. No one is entitled to control others or to be set as ruler to lord it over the heritage, but each is left free to be moved by Christ, with mutual forbearance, respect, and tender consideration. Even profession of truth without baptism into the spirit of Christ in love and tenderness requires reconversion, putting on the meekness of Christ with a sanctified imagination and sanctified tongue so as to be kind and tender and courteous, since no work is accepted unless done in tenderness and love and kindness.
Living by this rule belongs to winning heaven and overcoming as Christ overcame, following His example so none need walk in darkness but all may be overcomers who help others to overcome. It requires daily conversion, a converted intellect, and Christ as an indwelling presence, so inherited and cultivated tendencies to wrong are repented of and put away. Ministers and workers must watch their religious life diligently to practice brotherly love that gives honor above self as the cure for self-exalted ideas and self-deception, because mere profession is worthless. The whole twelfth chapter of Romans is educational, to be studied and understood and brought into life practice as part of presenting the body a living sacrifice, being transformed by the renewing of the mind, being many members in one body with differing gifts, loving without dissimulation, abhorring evil, and practicing diligence, hope, patience, prayer, and hospitality.
Heeding the instruction to show sincere, tender family affection and to honor others by putting them ahead of self would bring a great transformation in the church. Practicing this love and honoring one another builds unity, which can give evidence that God sent His Son and prepare workers for victory. God's people must press together and be a unit in kindly brotherly love, preferring one another in honor above self in humility rather than pride and submitting to one another, and this unity is their strength for present and eternal good. So kept, the church maintains its sacred holy calling separate from the world, to be respected and have influence, with God's voice controlling the members.
Example of Abraham and Lot
God's children around the world are one family governed by love and conciliation, joined not only by blood but as worshipers of the true God. Abraham showed the meaning of being kindly affectioned with brotherly love and preferring one another in honor by waiving his seniority and his God-given right to the land, refusing strife over rights and preferences, and giving Lot the choice of the land. This means cultivating uniform courtesy, yielding honor and advantage to another, and doing to others as one would wish to be done by, looking also to the interests of others with a charity that does not seek its own.
The command is kept when after separation one leaves the rich and luxurious portion to the other and is well content with a simple life elsewhere, as Abraham did in leaving the perilous luxury of the vale of Sodom to Lot and dwelling himself in the upland plains of Hebron under the oaks of Mamre. It is broken by selfishly grasping all advantages instead of showing courtesy and gratitude by yielding the choice to another, especially a benefactor to whom prosperity is owed. Lot broke it when he lifted his eyes to the well-watered plain of Jordan, chose all of it for himself, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.
Joined with unswerving allegiance to God, this affability, benevolence and unaffected greatness that prefers others in honor instead of shutting influence away from neighbors inspires confidence and friendship. It commands respect and honor even from worshipers of idols and exerts a telling influence in favor of the true faith, as seen when Abraham was honored by the surrounding nations as a mighty prince. Lived out it would remove half the ills of life and keep households from being torn apart and churches from being divided into a reproach, and it comes from a heart where the love of Christ is cherished, opposite to the self-aggrandizing spirit of Satan.
Practice in Home and Work
In the family this is the law of life, shown in politeness and benevolence even in little things as each forgets self to make others happy through kind attention. Kindly affection and mutual courtesy that considers feelings and respects rights soften harshness and prejudice, smooth differences of temperament, and strengthen bonds of love that grow stronger each day. Peace and courtesy practiced at home shape the church, where quarrels cease as members show the love learned from Jesus.
In marriage a husband shows it by respecting his wife's individual identity, opinions and responsibility, treating her with charitable, Christlike patience as he wishes to be regarded. Young men must cultivate love and affection for parents and for brothers and sisters in the family instead of sacrificing eternal interests for school studies, for the applause of teachers, and for ambition to excel. Children from babyhood are to be taught to give way to one another and show unselfishness in the smallest matters, treating one another with respect, kindness, love and gentleness while putting self aside to help each other. This childhood training teaches respect for God and removes the curse of grasping for supremacy that otherwise is often seen in the church.
It is practiced by speaking words of hope, courage, love and appreciation that bind hearts together. Modest, kind speech with consideration for feelings discerns and appreciates the virtues of others, giving due respect to all as members of the royal family, with words that are not like piercing swords. It refuses bold, rash, dictatorial, boastful, denunciatory and revengeful words, and stands against jealousy, suspicion, evil speaking and accusing and condemning brethren for faults or errors.
It means cultivating kindness and true heavenly courtesy even toward those who are suspicious, unjust and persecuting. Such kindness and heavenly courtesy are not weakness and always pay, forbidding hostility or withdrawing in return. Since the church militant is not the church triumphant, disappointment and opposition must be expected even from brethren, and believers must walk humbly keeping God's honor before them rather than expecting much from men.
It requires humility and thoughtfulness, and neglecting it brings harshness and roughness that misrepresent Christ. The workers in Sydney had disobeyed this instruction, and blessing them while they disregarded God's Word would have dishonored God and harmed them. The command is tested in daily life, and disregarding it prevents unity.
It calls for Christlike patience and forbearance in the home, church, and workplaces such as schools, publishing houses and sanitariums. Giving honor to others before self means not trying to stand high by houses, lands, carriages, expensive furniture and outward display. God looks at the heart, reads every purpose and motive, distinguishes true from false, and values humility and contrition of heart and sincerity and purity of principle above everything else.
Among God's workers there is to be unity, sympathy, kindness and unselfish love, with cheerfulness and looking on the bright side. Fellow workers should respect, encourage and esteem each other rather than treating anyone as inferior, while distinct responsibilities, individuality and appointed messages remain. They are to work in unity without disrespect, rivalry, unkind criticism, tearing down another's work, forming separate parties, setting self up as standard, or speaking disrespectfully of fellow workers.
God's ministers and workers are to press together heart close to heart as His anointed chosen ones, perfectly honest, cultivating love, respect, confidence and courtesy in honoring one another above self and counseling together with brotherly love. This forbids strife, alienation, whispering, slandering, evil speaking and backbiting, because God cannot work for His glory when His children live divided. A godly jealousy over self against unsanctified influence guards against suspicion of one another.
Workers on the Pacific Coast are just as precious as workers east of the Rocky Mountains, and all fellow workers in the same cause must promote harmony. The verse forbids prejudice, jealousy, unsanctified carnal ambition to be first, and depreciating fellow laborers. It forbids communicating suspicion by hints, plain words, looks, smiles or imaginings that build barriers, and requires letting each bear part in thinking and planning, guarding another's reputation as one's own, with truth as it is in Jesus planted in the heart by the Spirit as the safeguard.
In church work it joins new and experienced workers in harmony with mutual respect and honor, treating faithful workers justly without abrupt changes that discourage those who have labored earnestly and successfully. Giving a brother preference helps workers live in harmony while pulling away produces dissension; respecting Christ leads them to crucify self and love one another. Being subject to one another with others given higher place produces respect, confidence, unity heart bound to heart, removes suspicion and distrust, and fulfills Christ's prayer that followers be made perfect in oneness.
Businessmen become Christlike workers by letting Bible religion pervade business and transacting affairs by God's methods, not serving faulty unsanctified impulses. Adding thousands to capital by unjust management is not success or blessing, and gaining even a dollar by turning a stranger from his right is not a successful venture, for increase without justice, equity and keeping the Lord's way is a curse. It requires self-denial and self-sacrifice that overcomes evil with good by firmly resisting spending on frivolous gratifications and useless ornaments and turning every penny, shilling and pound into channels that glorify God by relieving the poorly clad, hungry, naked and comfortless. This love belongs with diligence in work, fervor in spirit, service to the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patience in trouble, constant prayer, sharing with needy believers, generosity and hospitality to strangers.
It is one of the Christian graces strangely neglected that must be practiced now above all times, with every encouragement because He who pledged His life to save the fallen race has pledged Himself as personal Intercessor. Loving as brethren tenderly requires baptism into Christ's spirit with reconversion if lacking, a sanctified imagination and tongue, and putting on Christ's meekness, for God accepts no work not done in tenderness, love and kindness. Christ's gentleness should shape words, spirit and conduct; love for Christ produces faith and loyal care for fellow believers, quenches selfish ambition and the desire to be first, purifies the soul, and shows close connection with the Life-giver, giving to others the life received from Him. Those with great light stand condemned unless they hold fast to Christ and impart grace.
It rules out accusation, fault-finding and impatience and supports avoiding judging. It calls believers to be pure and refined in spirit, words and actions with a cultivated, active spirit that watches for opportunities to help where help is needed. It means treating brethren with affectionate kindness, patience and respect with the tenderness of Jesus especially when correcting them. It forbids sharp, rasping words, unkind criticism, self-esteem, lifting up self in pride while magnifying others' faults, and withdrawing confidence because of evil report or supposition, which breaks the law to love neighbor as self.
It teaches mutual forbearance, respect and tenderness especially toward those who have labored long and faithfully. It teaches mutual deference that respects the counsel and judgment of fellow members instead of becoming self-sufficient with each insisting on his own way, which is always a losing game. Practicing kindly brotherly love and preferring others in honor in attitude and conduct demands a change of attitude and keeping self under control and belongs to reaching perfection. It preserves past usefulness and, with intelligent, pure, cordial belief in Christ's saving grace, places feet on the eternal Rock.
The verse teaches God's people to love one another with the loving care shown among the angels and to follow their example, even taking blame upon themselves rather than blaming a brother. Preferring others in honor as the first works of fellowship cultivates humility, which helps restore the love that gives good works their value.
Romans 12:10 commands warm, tender, family-like affection toward one another and giving others precedence in honor as a practical grace for daily life. To prefer one another in honor means to honor others above self rather than seeking honor, to esteem others better than self, to care for their interests, and to show meekness and lowliness of heart in a life freed from selfishness. The love it requires is sincere and unselfish without hypocrisy, hating evil and holding to good, refusing to excuse wrongdoing or compromise with sin while willingly sacrificing to save the sinner. It makes those brought together in church life one family and one body, united as Christ is one with the Father, and its neglect brings harshness, discord and strife that dishonor God and keep Him from imparting power. It is kept in the home by forgetting self to make others happy in even little things, and as Abraham showed by waiving seniority and right and giving Lot the choice, while it is broken by selfishly grasping all advantage as Lot did in choosing all the well-watered plain for himself.
Meaning of the Words
Romans 12:10 commands warm, tender, sincere family-like affection and brotherly love, with believers giving one another precedence in honor rather than seeking honor for themselves. It is a practical Christian grace to be carried out in daily life, and heeding it would bring a great transformation in the church. In its setting this mutual regard belongs alongside diligence in work, fervor in spirit and service to the Lord, and among the cautions and exhortations about gifts and conduct that make the church a light to the world. It is part of the call to live together as members of one body, each doing the work appointed according to gifts received from God, with different gifts and roles joined as one in Christ, and practicing it is vital to prevent discord and strife and to honor God.
Preferring one another in honor means honoring others above self as self-denial, esteeming others better than self and caring for their interests instead of only one's own. It requires meekness and lowliness of heart and a changed life free from selfish thoughts, feelings and motives, which is evidence of true Christian character. It means refusing selfish thinking and striving for personal advancement, for the best place and the highest place and leadership, and instead staying faithful to the responsibility already given, which is all that can be managed for the good of the church. It means being meek, teachable, obedient and kind, willing to learn from others instead of only wanting to teach and lead, while neglect wrecks souls on self-thinking and obedience gives strength through Christ abiding within to help the helpless and oppressed, to bear fruit to God's glory, to be conformed to Christ's character and to become a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to God. It is expressed in modest, kind speech and consideration for others' feelings, and stands against jealousy, suspicion and evil speaking that divide fellow believers. It means a Christian life shown in Christian thoughts, words and deportment with divine completeness of character in Christ and a sense of binding, far-reaching obligation to God and fellow men because life is not one's own, seeking to help, strengthen and bless associates with mercy, tenderness, compassion and pity, learning in Christ's school not how to esteem self or receive honor from men but how to cherish the meekness of Christ in a battle against self and selfishness striving for mastery where triumph is possible only through Christ.
This brotherly love is Christian courtesy and true humility of mind from a heart touched by the love of Jesus. Because God's children are citizens of heaven, Christ's blood-bought family, and every soul is precious in His sight as fine gold, believers must prefer one another in honor. He who has the Spirit of Christ will have modesty of demeanor, and words will reveal that the Holy Spirit is cherished. Christians will not be bold, rash, dictatorial, boastful, denunciatory and revengeful, but will manifest an unassuming, gentle spirit, discerning and appreciating the virtues of others. They will give due respect to all saints, counting them members of the royal family, children of the heavenly King, speaking kindly in conversation to young or old, high or low, learned or unlearned, with words not like piercing swords, and refusing to humble brethren by accusing and condemning them for faults or errors. Having this courtesy controls the temper and sweetens the disposition, calls believers to take light from the Word of God and unite in companies to work for others, and requires courtesy and true Christian politeness rather than acting from strife or self-glory. This kindness expressed through Christian courtesy in words and manner softens roughness and forms a foundation for happiness at home, where a wife and mother's consistent gentleness and courtesy can bind husband and children together in bonds of love that grow stronger each day.
Context in Romans Twelve
The mutual regard belongs alongside diligence in work, fervor in spirit and service to the Lord. It stands together with rejoicing in hope, patience in trouble and constant prayer. It stands together with sharing with needy believers, with giving and generosity and with hospitality to strangers. Keeping it requires self-sacrifice and duty at the post at all times, enduring hardness as a good soldier of the cross, with a character blameless, not self-willed, a lover of hospitality and of good men. It is practiced by doing good, being rich in good works, ready to distribute and willing to share, as a wise and safe investment that secures treasure in heaven and gives title to eternal life, by firmly resisting spending on frivolous gratifications and useless ornaments and turning every penny, shilling and pound into channels that glorify God by relieving the poorly clad, hungry, naked and comfortless. It belongs with the other precious gifts and duties to be desired and practiced, giving with simplicity, ruling with diligence, showing mercy with cheerfulness, abhorring evil and cleaving to good.
It belongs to the teaching that believers have differing gifts according to grace and different offices, yet are many members joined as one body in Christ and members of one another. Each has a special work and an appointed place to fill with the gift appointed, with different members fitted by capability for different classes of work. No one is to suppose a special gift is above all other gifts, but each is to join that gift with the gifts of others to make them helpful and to appreciate the gifts of others as essential for advancing the cause. All blend together into a complete whole, and those gifts studied prayerfully make the church the light of the world, so that the sons of God rightly represent Him and His cause in the midst of rebels and enemies who neglect His will and despise His honor. Those brought together in church capacity are thus to be one as Christ is one with the Father, united understandingly and intelligently, and practicing this love is vital to prevent discord and strife and to honor God.
It belongs to presenting the body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, and being transformed by the renewing of the mind rather than conformed to the world, so as to prove the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. It belongs to thinking soberly and not more highly of self than ought, to wearing Christ's yoke and drawing under His leading, with each person a sound member that builds the perfection of the spiritual body as the perfection of the physical body depends on the perfection of the individual organs. It belongs to loving without dissimulation, abhorring evil and cleaving to good, with souls purified by obeying truth through the Spirit and loving brethren fervently with a pure heart. It refuses to strengthen any evil work by influence of pen or voice on the side of evil, forbids any retaliatory thought, spirit, word or action toward those who tempt, discourage, criticize or suspect, and shows unity of action in obedience, with steadfast purpose, purity of heart, and the meekness and lowliness of Christ. It requires harmony between profession and practice, not mere sentiment or outward connection with the church and zeal in church work, but truth cherished in the heart, Christ abiding within through wholehearted surrender, and a kind, useful, helpful spirit, standing fast through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth while leaning only on God. Where this love exists the life reveals the fruit of the Spirit, a zeal according to knowledge in harmony with Bible truth and duty, and holiness unto the Lord, with lowliness of mind esteeming others better than self, caring for the interests of others, mutual submission clothed with humility, likemindedness with the same love, of one accord and one mind with the mind of Christ, disciplined into harmony of action to see eye to eye.
Sincere Love Opposing Evil
The love commanded is sincere and unselfish, without hypocrisy, prompted by the Spirit of Christ and not by deceitful pretense. It requires souls purified by obeying truth through the Spirit, truth cherished in the heart, and Christ abiding within through wholehearted surrender, so that profession and practice agree and life bears the fruit of the Spirit in holiness unto the Lord. Keeping it calls for self-sacrifice, steadfast purpose, purity of heart, and the meekness and lowliness of Christ, doing duty at one's post at all times and enduring hardness as a good soldier of the cross. It forbids any retaliatory thought, spirit, word or action toward those who tempt, discourage, criticize or suspect, and forbids consulting one's own wishes and ease and pleasing self, requiring instead leaning only on God and standing fast in salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth. Where this love exists there is a kind, useful, helpful spirit with zeal according to knowledge in harmony with Bible truth and duty, shown in giving with simplicity, ruling with diligence, showing mercy with cheerfulness, diligence in business, fervor in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patience in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer, distributing to the necessity of saints, hospitality, doing good, being rich in good works, ready to distribute and willing to share; where it is lacking unbelievers see the wide difference between profession and practice and lose confidence in the truth and in those who profess it.
This love is kind, compassionate and forgiving, yet it never excuses wrongdoing nor agrees with a sinner instead of faithfully showing the person the errors. It hates evil and holds to good, has no harmony with sin and makes no peace with it, refusing to compromise even if friendship or association with the ungodly must be sacrificed. At the same time the spirit of Christ in it is willing to make any sacrifice to save the sinner.
It is proved daily in character and experience, for daily exhibition of character proves whether faith is true or spurious. Being kindly affectioned with brotherly love and preferring one another in honour means showing sincerity by pure, clean words full of sympathy, tenderness and love. Love does not end with soft words, for those out of the right way need words of reproof and sharp rebuke to bring them back, because moral renovation must take place in every heart or souls will perish in their sins. This tenderness especially belongs to correction, treating brethren with affectionate kindness, patience, respect and an unselfish spirit with the tenderness and love of Jesus, safeguarding their interests, ending gossip and evil reports, and displaying to the world true discipleship. It therefore forbids sharp, rasping, wicked words and spirit in reproof, every unkind criticism, prideful self-esteem that lifts up self as faultless while magnifying the faults of others, and withdrawing confidence from a brother because of an evil report, accusation or supposition of wrong, which breaks the law to love the neighbor as self.
It rejects jealousy and the desire for pre-eminence and follows the example of unselfish service given by Christ, who though Lord of Heaven lived among the humble, ministered to the needy and afflicted, and gave His life, and His followers are to serve others in the same spirit.
Unity Through Mutual Honor
Those brought together in church capacity are made one family and one body, one as Christ is one with the Father, united understandingly and intelligently as members of one another. As members of the heavenly family they love one another as brothers and give honor to one another first, helping and strengthening each other. The children of God around the world are one family joined not only by blood but as worshipers of the true God, governed by love and conciliation across nationalities, with national prejudice and jealousy broken down so believers of every nation are joined in one mind and heart. Receiving the truth leads to esteeming others better than self and showing kindness, courtesy, uniform courtesy, yielding of honor and advantage, doing to others as one would wish to be done by, and looking to the interests of others with charity that does not seek its own.
The command requires lowliness of mind, mutual submission clothed with humility, esteeming others better than self and caring for the interests of others. It means kindly affection with brotherly love that prefers one another in honor instead of thinking of self more highly than ought and trying to bear rule over one another. It is learned by looking to Jesus and learning from Him, producing respect, confidence and love between fellow workers with unity and heart bound to heart, removing suspicion and distrust into heavenly fragrance and sweet harmony. It refuses selfish thinking and striving for personal advancement, for the best place and the highest place and leadership, and instead stays faithful to the responsibility already given, being meek, teachable, obedient and kind, willing to learn from others instead of only wanting to teach and lead. Men of God's appointment are sustained only as they study and do this principle in small matters as well as large, working humbly while seeking wisdom from God who is high and lifted up, since neglect opens positive danger from every device to weaken them and make them exalted in their own opinion and gain power over them. It calls the church to be likeminded with the same love, of one accord and one mind with the mind of Christ, disciplined into harmony of action to see eye to eye, with the proud carnal heart subdued so reproof, exhortation and rebuke can be received.
Because the heavenly Father loves with infinite tenderness, loving Him requires loving His children, for he that loves not his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. Those who call God Father as children of one family must therefore love one another with tender brotherly affection and prefer one another in honor, with the tenderness and mercy Jesus revealed. This requires softened hearts from thoughts of God's daily bounties, sympathy that makes neighbors' interests one's own, gratitude, humility, long-suffering, self-sacrifice, forbearance, mercy and forgiveness, a love not returned only for favors received but reigning as a ruling principle. As a ruling principle it modifies character, governs impulses, controls passions, subdues enmity, elevates the being, sweetens life, gives happiness in fortune or frown, adorns the soul with true nobility, assimilates life to the Master, and is as broad as the world and as high as Heaven in harmony with angel workers. Without it, despite honor, intelligence and refinement, there is deficiency in true goodness and unfitness for Heaven where all is love and unity.
The instruction is given to cure lack of unity and lack of love among church members, a condition that grieves the angels and the Spirit of God. Obeying it means walking in love as Christ loved and gave Himself, being like-minded toward one another, and glorifying God with one mind and one mouth. It belongs to the life of a church whose members have different gifts and roles but are joined as one body in Christ, and practicing it is vital to prevent discord and strife and to honor God. Mutual regard helps preserve the peace of Christ, while the desire to exalt self brings discord and dissension among believers. Neglect leads to harshness and roughness that misrepresent Christ, while practicing this love and honoring one another builds unity.
Failure in warm brotherly affection and giving honor rather than working in a haphazard, discordant way dishonors God by discord and strife, keeps Him from giving His people the power He desires to impart, and keeps Him from glorifying His name before the world and before the heavenly universe. This duty is of vital importance for everyone laboring in ministry and medical-missionary lines and for every Christian, and must be practiced now above all other times, yet it is largely left out of practice. Disunion and contention, even unexpressed, drive out the Spirit of God and the peace and love of the church, springing from selfishness in self-esteem or longing for approbation by unworthy means. The verse forbids lack of love, severity toward those supposed to be in error, sensitivity to blame, hints and sharp criticisms, blindness to evident self-errors, and lessening another's influence to build up self, which pleases the enemy and grieves Christ. It forbids strife and alienation, whispering, slandering, evil speaking and backbiting among ministers and workers pressed together heart close to heart as honest, anointed, chosen ones, cultivating love, respect, confidence and courtesy, because God will not and cannot work for His name's glory when His professed children live divided.
All masterful, dominating, ruling power over the Lord's people is a strange and dangerous element, not of God, another gospel and not the righteousness of Christ, a spoil to the church that must no longer be allowed. All who hold a position in the church as shepherds must therefore represent the great Shepherd in brotherly love and mutual honor, carrying the work upon a higher plane of action. No one is entitled to control others or to be set as ruler to lord it over the heritage, but each is left free to be moved by Christ, with mutual forbearance, respect, and tender consideration. Even profession of truth without baptism into the spirit of Christ in love and tenderness requires reconversion, putting on the meekness of Christ with a sanctified imagination and sanctified tongue so as to be kind and tender and courteous, since no work is accepted unless done in tenderness and love and kindness.
Living by this rule belongs to winning heaven and overcoming as Christ overcame, following His example so none need walk in darkness but all may be overcomers who help others to overcome. It requires daily conversion, a converted intellect, and Christ as an indwelling presence, so inherited and cultivated tendencies to wrong are repented of and put away. Ministers and workers must watch their religious life diligently to practice brotherly love that gives honor above self as the cure for self-exalted ideas and self-deception, because mere profession is worthless. The whole twelfth chapter of Romans is educational, to be studied and understood and brought into life practice as part of presenting the body a living sacrifice, being transformed by the renewing of the mind, being many members in one body with differing gifts, loving without dissimulation, abhorring evil, and practicing diligence, hope, patience, prayer, and hospitality.
Heeding the instruction to show sincere, tender family affection and to honor others by putting them ahead of self would bring a great transformation in the church. Practicing this love and honoring one another builds unity, which can give evidence that God sent His Son and prepare workers for victory. God's people must press together and be a unit in kindly brotherly love, preferring one another in honor above self in humility rather than pride and submitting to one another, and this unity is their strength for present and eternal good. So kept, the church maintains its sacred holy calling separate from the world, to be respected and have influence, with God's voice controlling the members.
Example of Abraham and Lot
God's children around the world are one family governed by love and conciliation, joined not only by blood but as worshipers of the true God. Abraham showed the meaning of being kindly affectioned with brotherly love and preferring one another in honor by waiving his seniority and his God-given right to the land, refusing strife over rights and preferences, and giving Lot the choice of the land. This means cultivating uniform courtesy, yielding honor and advantage to another, and doing to others as one would wish to be done by, looking also to the interests of others with a charity that does not seek its own.
The command is kept when after separation one leaves the rich and luxurious portion to the other and is well content with a simple life elsewhere, as Abraham did in leaving the perilous luxury of the vale of Sodom to Lot and dwelling himself in the upland plains of Hebron under the oaks of Mamre. It is broken by selfishly grasping all advantages instead of showing courtesy and gratitude by yielding the choice to another, especially a benefactor to whom prosperity is owed. Lot broke it when he lifted his eyes to the well-watered plain of Jordan, chose all of it for himself, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.
Joined with unswerving allegiance to God, this affability, benevolence and unaffected greatness that prefers others in honor instead of shutting influence away from neighbors inspires confidence and friendship. It commands respect and honor even from worshipers of idols and exerts a telling influence in favor of the true faith, as seen when Abraham was honored by the surrounding nations as a mighty prince. Lived out it would remove half the ills of life and keep households from being torn apart and churches from being divided into a reproach, and it comes from a heart where the love of Christ is cherished, opposite to the self-aggrandizing spirit of Satan.
Practice in Home and Work
In the family this is the law of life, shown in politeness and benevolence even in little things as each forgets self to make others happy through kind attention. Kindly affection and mutual courtesy that considers feelings and respects rights soften harshness and prejudice, smooth differences of temperament, and strengthen bonds of love that grow stronger each day. Peace and courtesy practiced at home shape the church, where quarrels cease as members show the love learned from Jesus.
In marriage a husband shows it by respecting his wife's individual identity, opinions and responsibility, treating her with charitable, Christlike patience as he wishes to be regarded. Young men must cultivate love and affection for parents and for brothers and sisters in the family instead of sacrificing eternal interests for school studies, for the applause of teachers, and for ambition to excel. Children from babyhood are to be taught to give way to one another and show unselfishness in the smallest matters, treating one another with respect, kindness, love and gentleness while putting self aside to help each other. This childhood training teaches respect for God and removes the curse of grasping for supremacy that otherwise is often seen in the church.
It is practiced by speaking words of hope, courage, love and appreciation that bind hearts together. Modest, kind speech with consideration for feelings discerns and appreciates the virtues of others, giving due respect to all as members of the royal family, with words that are not like piercing swords. It refuses bold, rash, dictatorial, boastful, denunciatory and revengeful words, and stands against jealousy, suspicion, evil speaking and accusing and condemning brethren for faults or errors.
It means cultivating kindness and true heavenly courtesy even toward those who are suspicious, unjust and persecuting. Such kindness and heavenly courtesy are not weakness and always pay, forbidding hostility or withdrawing in return. Since the church militant is not the church triumphant, disappointment and opposition must be expected even from brethren, and believers must walk humbly keeping God's honor before them rather than expecting much from men.
It requires humility and thoughtfulness, and neglecting it brings harshness and roughness that misrepresent Christ. The workers in Sydney had disobeyed this instruction, and blessing them while they disregarded God's Word would have dishonored God and harmed them. The command is tested in daily life, and disregarding it prevents unity.
It calls for Christlike patience and forbearance in the home, church, and workplaces such as schools, publishing houses and sanitariums. Giving honor to others before self means not trying to stand high by houses, lands, carriages, expensive furniture and outward display. God looks at the heart, reads every purpose and motive, distinguishes true from false, and values humility and contrition of heart and sincerity and purity of principle above everything else.
Among God's workers there is to be unity, sympathy, kindness and unselfish love, with cheerfulness and looking on the bright side. Fellow workers should respect, encourage and esteem each other rather than treating anyone as inferior, while distinct responsibilities, individuality and appointed messages remain. They are to work in unity without disrespect, rivalry, unkind criticism, tearing down another's work, forming separate parties, setting self up as standard, or speaking disrespectfully of fellow workers.
God's ministers and workers are to press together heart close to heart as His anointed chosen ones, perfectly honest, cultivating love, respect, confidence and courtesy in honoring one another above self and counseling together with brotherly love. This forbids strife, alienation, whispering, slandering, evil speaking and backbiting, because God cannot work for His glory when His children live divided. A godly jealousy over self against unsanctified influence guards against suspicion of one another.
Workers on the Pacific Coast are just as precious as workers east of the Rocky Mountains, and all fellow workers in the same cause must promote harmony. The verse forbids prejudice, jealousy, unsanctified carnal ambition to be first, and depreciating fellow laborers. It forbids communicating suspicion by hints, plain words, looks, smiles or imaginings that build barriers, and requires letting each bear part in thinking and planning, guarding another's reputation as one's own, with truth as it is in Jesus planted in the heart by the Spirit as the safeguard.
In church work it joins new and experienced workers in harmony with mutual respect and honor, treating faithful workers justly without abrupt changes that discourage those who have labored earnestly and successfully. Giving a brother preference helps workers live in harmony while pulling away produces dissension; respecting Christ leads them to crucify self and love one another. Being subject to one another with others given higher place produces respect, confidence, unity heart bound to heart, removes suspicion and distrust, and fulfills Christ's prayer that followers be made perfect in oneness.
Businessmen become Christlike workers by letting Bible religion pervade business and transacting affairs by God's methods, not serving faulty unsanctified impulses. Adding thousands to capital by unjust management is not success or blessing, and gaining even a dollar by turning a stranger from his right is not a successful venture, for increase without justice, equity and keeping the Lord's way is a curse. It requires self-denial and self-sacrifice that overcomes evil with good by firmly resisting spending on frivolous gratifications and useless ornaments and turning every penny, shilling and pound into channels that glorify God by relieving the poorly clad, hungry, naked and comfortless. This love belongs with diligence in work, fervor in spirit, service to the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patience in trouble, constant prayer, sharing with needy believers, generosity and hospitality to strangers.
It is one of the Christian graces strangely neglected that must be practiced now above all times, with every encouragement because He who pledged His life to save the fallen race has pledged Himself as personal Intercessor. Loving as brethren tenderly requires baptism into Christ's spirit with reconversion if lacking, a sanctified imagination and tongue, and putting on Christ's meekness, for God accepts no work not done in tenderness, love and kindness. Christ's gentleness should shape words, spirit and conduct; love for Christ produces faith and loyal care for fellow believers, quenches selfish ambition and the desire to be first, purifies the soul, and shows close connection with the Life-giver, giving to others the life received from Him. Those with great light stand condemned unless they hold fast to Christ and impart grace.
It rules out accusation, fault-finding and impatience and supports avoiding judging. It calls believers to be pure and refined in spirit, words and actions with a cultivated, active spirit that watches for opportunities to help where help is needed. It means treating brethren with affectionate kindness, patience and respect with the tenderness of Jesus especially when correcting them. It forbids sharp, rasping words, unkind criticism, self-esteem, lifting up self in pride while magnifying others' faults, and withdrawing confidence because of evil report or supposition, which breaks the law to love neighbor as self.
It teaches mutual forbearance, respect and tenderness especially toward those who have labored long and faithfully. It teaches mutual deference that respects the counsel and judgment of fellow members instead of becoming self-sufficient with each insisting on his own way, which is always a losing game. Practicing kindly brotherly love and preferring others in honor in attitude and conduct demands a change of attitude and keeping self under control and belongs to reaching perfection. It preserves past usefulness and, with intelligent, pure, cordial belief in Christ's saving grace, places feet on the eternal Rock.
The verse teaches God's people to love one another with the loving care shown among the angels and to follow their example, even taking blame upon themselves rather than blaming a brother. Preferring others in honor as the first works of fellowship cultivates humility, which helps restore the love that gives good works their value.