p. 12 | Faithfulness and Love of the Husband

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Tacoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · May 16, 1907

Faithfulness and Love of the Husband

By Mrs. M. C. Du Bois

Nature of True Marriage

God is love; therefore love is born of God. Many, however, who enter into the marriage relation are ignorant of the love that is born of God. They mistake lust for love. True love is unselfish and enduring. It stands by through “better or worse,” in sickness as in health, and is faithful unto death.

Marriage is sacred. It was instituted by God himself, and all who enter wedlock take upon themselves most solemn obligations, and assume the most tender relations one to the other. But too often the husband and wife drift apart when the tests of married life come, and their vows at the marriage altar become a dead letter. Instead of faithfulness “until death doth us part,” a separation takes place on the merest pretense. Indeed, divorces are so frequent nowadays that it is no wonder many are asking, “Is marriage a failure?”

Duties of the Husband

When God presented the woman to Adam, he laid upon him obligations that reach every man who enters the married state, though many who repeat these vows are ignorant of their true meaning, and therefore fail to realize the solemn responsibility they are assuming.

In the Bible the husband's duty is clearly outlined, love being the starting-point. We read:— “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” Eph. 5: 25-29.

How many there are who know nothing of the pure, true love here defined! Mark the degree of love,—as Christ “loved the church.” He gave up all, even life.

Men ought to love their wives how much?—“As their own bodies.” Bone of his bones, and flesh of his flesh, you see. Self love is strong in a man's heart, but his wife is to be loved as himself. How is it, husbands who may read this article, are you providing amply for your wife, nourishing her as your own body? Are you mindful of the needs, not only of the body, but those of the heart and mind? Are you “encouraging, comforting” her daily? Do you “cherish” with “tenderness and affection” the wife by your side? If not, you are failing in the duty God has enjoined upon you as a husband. Remember, “No man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.”

Again we read, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Col. 3: 19. “Bitter” is a little word, but means much. A few of Webster's definitions are: “sharp; causing pain; cruel; severe; reproachful; sarcastic.” Is it any wonder God warns you against so dark a list? Have you ever spoken sharp words to the wife, or been severe, sarcastic, cruel? Have you ever reproached, when she failed in any line of duty, the one who should be loved as yourself? Remember, “No man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” A man who would blush with shame to strike his wife with his hand, will often smite her with his tongue, which causes her deeper pain than would a blow from his strong right arm. O husbands, be careful of your words!

Perhaps you say, “God forbid that I should be such a monster.” Well, there is danger of failure on this point, or God would not have inspired such an admonition; for “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God.” Be careful that you study well this portion of his Word, and be sure you fail not in all the duty you owe your wife.—Mrs. M. C. Du Bois.