p. 180 | Mutual Obligation

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · May 23, 1871

Mutual Obligation.

The principle of mutual obligation lies at the very foundation of all government, in Heaven, or on earth. In love, God made man. In love infinite, he gave his Son to save man, when lost in base transgression. God’s love in man’s creation, and in the plan for his redemption, places man under unmeasurable obligation to God. In the gift of his dear Son, God has given a pledge of infinite love to those who obey him. And the principle of mutual obligation, requiring mutual love, fully justifies the demand of God that man should love him supremely. “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” Deut. 6:5.

In the administration of his government, God recognizes the justice of rewards and punishments. And these may also be seen in the very foundation of all civil government. Those wise ones (?) of the spiritualistic school, or wherever they may be found, who repudiate punishment for wrong, are simply out of harmony with earth and Heaven.

In the second commandment, the great God reveals himself a merciful God to those who love and obey him, and a God of justice to those that hate him. It was necessary that dependent man should understand, and feel, and recognize the justice of rewards and punishments in the administration of God’s government, and bow in submission to the divine will.

“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them; for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.” Ex. 20:4–6.

Let the great God be exalted, and let all idols fall. This is for man’s best good, and for the glory of God. But if men will have other gods; and if they will hate the only true and infinitely good God, he has a right to withdraw his love from them, and to simply destroy the creatures he has made.

God has pledged his love, and has given assurance of the great things he will do for his obedient children. Having placed himself under such obligations to his people, he has a right to demand perfect obedience of his children, and to punish with death those who disobey, and hate him. The obligations between God and man are mutual. God fulfills on his part ever. If man fails on his part, the obligation of God to save him ceases, and man must suffer the sentence of death, and be “as though he had not been.”

Mutual obligation is the basis of all civil government. The legislative power assumes the obligation of acting for the best good of the people. And all the friends of law and order will cherish the highest regard for such government, and feel under sacred obligations to the government. And thus the obligations are mutual.

All good governments recognize the necessity, as well as the justice, of rewards and punishments. Then who will rebel against all righteous government on earth and in Heaven, and repudiate punishment for wrong-doing?

Some men, and some women too, are becoming insane on this subject. They would rashly throw off restraint. Their foolish hearts rebel at the thought of submission to a supreme Ruler, and they delight in blasphemy against God. But this is simply the ravings of the spirit demons with which they are possessed. To what lengths they would go, were it not for civil law, God only knows.

Mutual obligation must be acknowledged in all successful family arrangement. Parents become responsible for the existence of children, and are laid under obligation for their education and maintenance. But when their children come to that age where they can repay their parents for their support and education, they should be taught their obligation to their parents. Mutual obligation between parents and children never ceases. We do not say that time and circumstances do not affect in a degree this obligation. But we do say that mutual obligation between parents and children never ceases while life lasts.

But one of the prime sins of our time, and that which brings wretchedness into very many families, is the fact that but few young men and young women feel under obligation to their parents. They may be dependent on their parents for food and clothing, and their education, and yet feel under no obligation to honor, love, and obey, them. And when they leave the parental home, and take upon themselves the responsibilities of married life, they may claim from their parents a liberal share of property, and yet at the same time feel themselves under no obligation to follow the riper judgment of their parents in the general management of the very property they receive from them.

The feeling of obligation is not mutual. It is obligation on the part of the parents, and independence on the part of the children. In such cases, which are very abundant, the feelings of the parents are stung with the ingratitude of selfish children, and they are made very unhappy; while, on the other hand, the children deprive themselves of the happiness of gratitude, and are not in a condition of mind to enjoy the liberality of their parents.

Parents should early teach their children the pure principle of mutual obligation. Let this grow with their growth and strengthen with their strength, if they would save their children from ruin. Indulgence, over-much fondness, and petting, stand directly in the way of the development of the principle of mutual obligation in the young mind, and lead it to dependence on parents, and to selfishness. Thousands of dear children are ruined for this life, and for that which is to come, simply because their fond parents ruin them.

The obligation of parents to children who are so young that they are actually dependent on their parents, is not affected by common circumstances. But as early as may be, children should begin to feel their obligation to their parents. And, when grown to manhood and womanhood, if they cast aside obligation to honor the judgment of their parents, the obligation of their parents to them also ceases.

And if parents still hold themselves under obligation to children who will not receive their instruction, but take an independent, willful and rebellious course, they strengthen the wrong, injure their own children, and virtually say to the youth everywhere that they may do as they please, and yet share all the blessings and bounties of parental liberality.

It has been decided long since that the tenderest earthly tie is between mother and child. God has made this so. And all good people, whose youth time was blessed with the pure love of a truly good mother’s heart, will regard the feelings of a mother for her child with greatest respect.

But these good mothers sometimes err for want of having their feelings of love for their children sanctified, and, in a good degree, controlled by the principle of mutual obligation. If they do not teach them their duty to their parents, and if they do not succeed in planting in the minds and hearts of their children the principle of mutual obligation, and their children grow up ungrateful and willful, the indulgences of the mother’s tenderest love only lead these children to still greater wrongs.

And it is not unfrequently the case that a rebellious son or daughter takes advantage of the mother’s unyielding feelings of tenderest indulgence, and the family is made very unhappy, simply because the entire family cannot yield to the unjust wishes and demands of an ungrateful and willful child. Satan leads on the child to bring about this domestic wretchedness, and then exults at his success. The doctrine of mutual obligation is the only remedy for this common evil.

And let the good work of removing this terrible evil, begin with the parents. Let them feel the force of the great truth of mutual obligation, and then they can better impress their children. God speaks to wife and husband thus: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Col. 3:18. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Eph. 5:22. “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Col. 3:19. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Eph. 5:25. And the very climax of mutual obligation is taught in the following words addressed to both husband and wife: “Submit yourselves one to the other in the fear of God.” Eph. 5:21.

Indulgent mothers, please stand out of the way, and let the voice of Infinite Wisdom, in all its commanding power, reach your children. God speaks to them, “Children, obey your parents in all things; for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” Col. 3:20.

Stern fathers, burdened with the cares and perplexities of life, be wise, and save yourselves and families; the keenest sorrows of hearts. God speaks to you: “Provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Col. 3:21.

Every father should have with him ever a lively sense of his duty to love, and to cherish with tender care, his wife and children. He may be pressed with the cares and perplexities of life; he may be enfeebled by toil and disease; but should never regard these as an apology for ill-treating his wife and his children. He is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it.” No stronger figure could be given. “As Christ loved the church.”—Let every husband feel the force of this matchless illustration. “As Christ loved the church.”—Very few husbands have let their minds penetrate the depth of love here set forth. “As Christ loved the church”—benevolent, compassionate, enduring love. God help the Christian husband to feel, and to learn, and to fully know, his obligations to the circle of dear ones who call him husband and father.

Every wife should carry in her bosom ever a fountain of love—benevolent, confiding, enduring, submissive love. What! shall she submit her judgment and wishes to her husband? Let Infinite Wisdom reply: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” But what if she thinks her judgment in matters and things is better than that of her husband? She is probably mistaken as often, to say the least, as every other time, as to her superior judgment. But if she is not, it is her happiest and best course to make the best of her poor choice of a husband, and bear her misfortune with Christian fortitude. God says: “Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands, as is fit in the Lord.”

Whatever may be said of women’s rights, we claim that it is her God-given privilege, and her sacred duty, to entrench herself amid the blessings of mutual obligation, in submission to her husband, sharing his tenderest regards, and the honor and obedient love of her children. She then shares the highest, holiest, and dearest rights that earth and Heaven can bestow. On the very throne of the family realm she sits a queen, by the power of that pure love which is always in harmony with truth and justice, softening hard hearts, bending stubborn wills, smoothing troubled brows, relieving oppressed hearts, and shedding light and happiness on all around. Success to all good women who anxiously claim God-given rights.

But what can we add in relation to the duty of children? We have neither time, space, nor ability, to do the subject justice. This is an unfortunate time. Disobedience to parents is a sign of the last days. There are not ten children in one thousand that feel the obligation to honor, love, and obey, their parents, as set forth in the Scriptures.

We have lost all faith in modern improvements in the art of training children that avoid the Bible doctrine of obedience. The pure, simple declarations of the word of God, sustaining mutual obligations upon husband, wife, and children, are the only regulator and the sure cure, of the almost universal domestic troubles of this sad time. Modern improvements in family government are working sure ruin. While indulgence manifested toward children gives present relief, it paves the way to death and hell.

“There is policy in war.” The children have better success in pleading with the mother for indulgence of excesses in dress, social privileges, and idleness. The mother too often yields to their wishes. Thus re-enforced, they attack the father, and almost always gain the day. The prophet of God looks forward, and describes the pride, and folly, and errors of our time. Read Isa. 3, and mark in particular one prominent feature of our time expressed in verse 12, “As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.”

The weeping prophet seems to respond to the wailings of the usually more hopeful and triumphant Isaiah as follows: “Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and ye shall find rest to your souls.” Jer. 6:16.

Restlessness, instead of rest, is the order of the day in those families where mutual obligation is not regarded, and the household compact moves off more like a disorderly firm, than a family after God’s ancient arrangement. And there is no hope of that rest, which is the result of proper family government, until husband, wife, and children, stand related to each other in the duties of life according to God’s will plainly declared in the Sacred Scriptures.

(To be Continued.)