p. 12 | Gossip by Kathrina B. Wilcox

Pacific Press Publishing Association · Mountain View, California · Sep 24, 1912

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 39, No. 37.

Gossip

By Kathrina B. Wilcox

HE subject of gossip is one which confronts us on every side, and is one to which we as young people should be awake, for we can not afford to let this treacherous and insidious foe blight our characters and contaminate our minds.

For the benefit of our young people, the subject may be divided into the following questions:

Should a young person gossip? Is there such a thing as "harmless gossip"? Should we listen to gossip or pass it on to others? and why not? What should we do when some one starts to tell us a choice bit of gossip?

The first question, Should a young person gossip? is most quickly and easily answered by a very emphatic No. But to answer the question somewhat less briefly, we would say, A young person should not gossip, neither should an older person gossip, neither should a child gossip. But most emphatically during the habit-forming period of life persons should not gossip. Our characters are largely made up by the habits formed, and it is easy to form habits in youth that cling to us all through life. Therefore is it not important that we, as young people right in the prime of young manhood and womanhood, look carefully into this matter at once, and ask ourselves if such indulgence ever pays?

It does not pay, commercially, socially, diplomatically, or spiritually.

It does not pay commercially, for a tale-bearer, a tattler, would be injurious to any kind of business. It does not pay socially, for as Solomon wisely says, "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends." Prov. 17:9. We have all perhaps experienced this in our own social lives.

It does not pay from a diplomatic standpoint. For policy's sake it is well to heed the apostle's injunction, "As much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."

And most of all, it does not pay spiritually. We are admonished to "edify one another." Gossip, instead of edifying, building up, is tearing down. If we think on those things that are lovely and pure and true and of good report, we will not have any room or any time for thoughts of gossip. We will see in our fellow men only the good and the possibilities for good, and will endeavor to help them develop instead of tearing down their reputations.

Second, Is there any such thing as harmless gossip? We might answer this question by asking another: Is there any such thing as harmless sin? Let us go back to the Standard Dictionary definition of gossip: "Idle or familiar talk, groundless rumor, tattle, as friend with friend, especially scandalous, half-confidential, usually ill-founded personal remarks about, or criticism of, others." Does not this answer itself? Of course not all news is gossip, as you already know. Gossip is something that tears down. Is anything that tears down the reputation of another harmless?

Third, Should we listen to gossip or pass it on to others? Suppose that Miss A should tell Miss B something detrimental to the character of Mr. C, and Miss B should listen. Now if she kept that bit of gossip to herself, what effect would it have on her mind? Every time she saw Mr. C she would think of the report she had heard, and her estimation of him might never be the same again.

If she did not keep it to herself, it would not only poison her own mind, but the mind of some one else; and through that one, the mind of another; and so it would spread.

And one other point right here: Miss A might injure the reputation of Mr. C, but she could not injure his character, while if she persisted in such a course, she would ruin her own character as well as her reputation.

James Parker said: "Never throw mud. You may miss the mark, but you will have dirty hands."

Another: "The man recovered from the bite. The dog died."

Of course you understand that there is quite a fine distinction between character and reputation. Our reputation is what people think we are, and our character is what we really are. If our reputation is injured, we may in time win our way back into the hearts of the people, but it will take years to rebuild our character. Therefore I would like to have you grasp that thought: The reputation of the one who gossips is injured, because I would think that, if he talked to me about you, he would talk about me to some one else; and more, his whole character is undermined. The love of truth, the keen insight into the good qualities of his fellow men, is demoralized, and in time he fails to see the good in others.

Fourth, What should we do when some one starts to tell us a choice bit of gossip? Now we are brought face to face with a problem that each one of us will have to study out and decide for himself. I can only suggest how we may meet it. It takes real moral courage, when a friend comes to you with some choice bit of information regarding some individual, and tells you not to tell (he would never tell any one else but you, of course), to tell him kindly, but firmly and frankly, that if it is something which will cause you to think less of some one, you would prefer not to hear it. Or, if the information is out before you are aware of its nature, you might turn the trend of thought by saying something kind or commendable about the person under discussion. This will be a gentle rebuke to the informer, and cause the tale to lose much of its inspiration.

Then, be sure to set an example by never repeating these "choice bits of gossip" yourself. A little verse recently found gives us some excellent rules on this point:

"If you are tempted to reveal A tale some one to you has told About another, make it pass, Before you speak, three gates of gold. "These narrow gates—first 'Is it true?' Then 'Is it needful' in your mind? Give honest answer; and the next Is last and narrowest, 'Is it kind?' "And if to reach your lips at last It passes through these gateways three, Then you may tell the tale, nor fear What the result of speech may be."

Don't think that if we make a resolution at this time never again to gossip, we will not often be tempted, but as that little verse says:

"If you your lips Would keep from slips, Five things observe with care: Of whom you speak, To whom you speak, And why, and when, and where."

Let us supplement these few thoughts with something far superior from the Word of God, which leaves us little room for question in regard to this important subject:

What does the ninth commandment forbid? "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Ex. 20:16.

How is a man regarded who obeys this command? "If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man." James 3:2.

To what double use is the tongue put? "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be." James 3:10.

Can man, unrenewed by grace, control his tongue? "For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." James 3:7, 8.

What does Paul, in his second letter to the Thessalonians, call people who do not control their speech? "For we hear of some that walk among you disorderly, that work not at all, but are busybodies." 2 Thess. 3:11.

How does he speak of this class of people in his letter to Timothy? "And withal they learn also to be idle, going about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not." 1 Tim. 5:13.

Of what are one's words the index?

"Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." Matt. 12:34.

What will our words have to do with our standing in the judgment? "For by thy words thou shalt be justified." Matt. 12:37.

Among what class of people does Peter place "busybodies"? "Let none of you suffer as a murderer, or a thief, or an evil-doer, or as a meddler [busybody] in other men's matters." 1 Peter 4:15.

What special sin is covered by the ninth commandment? "Thou shalt not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor." Lev. 19:16.

What are the words of a talebearer like? "The words of a talebearer are as wounds." Prov. 26:22.

What is their effect? "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends." Prov. 17:9.

What would follow if each attended to his own affairs only? "Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth." Prov. 26:20.

To what is a word fitly spoken compared? "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Prov. 25:11.

To whom are our words all known? "For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, Thou knowest it altogether." Ps. 139:4.

Now if we, as a strong army of young people, would resolve together that we will put down this evil in our midst, it could be far more easily and more effectually accomplished. To illustrate: If I should resolve not to gossip, and Miss S should resolve not to gossip, and she should forget and start to tell me some bit of information, and I should ask, "Miss S, is it true?" she would immediately remember, and not take offense; while if I alone had made the resolution, and she knew nothing about it, she might think me stiff or overcritical.

You can all readily see how we could unitedly accomplish this much more easily than separately, for "in union there is strength." Shall we not begin at once?