Earlier text: Return to Maine.One morning at family prayer, at Bro. Howland’s, I was shown that it was duty for us to go to Dartmouth, Mass. Soon after, my husband went to the post-office and brought a letter from Bro. Collins, urging us to come to Dartmouth, for their son was very sick. We immediately went, and found Bro. Collins’ son, thirteen years old, had been sick nine weeks with the whooping cough, and was wasted almost to a skeleton. He had fits of coughing109which would stop his breath, and his father was obliged to rush to the door with him in his arms that he might regain his breath. The parents thought him to be in consumption, and were greatly distressed that their only son must be taken from them. We felt a spirit of prayer for him, and earnestly besought the LORD to spare his life. We believed that he would get well, although to look at appearance, there was no possibility of his recovery. It was a powerful season. My husband raised him in his arms, and cried out, “You will not die, but live!” We believed that GOD would be glorified in his recovery. We left Dartmouth, and was absent about eight days. When we returned, the sick boy came out to meet us. He had gained four pounds in flesh. We found the household rejoicing in GOD, for his wonderful work. We then received a request to visit Sister Hastings of New Ipswich, N. H. She was greatly afflicted. We made it a subject of prayer, and obtained evidence that the LORD would go with us. We tarried on our way with Bro. Nichols’ family. They informed us of the affliction of Sister Temple of Boston. There was a sore upon her arm which caused her much suffering. It had extended over the bend of the elbow. She had suffered such agony that she had resorted to human means until she saw it was of no use. The last effort110she made drove the disease to her lungs, and unless she obtained immediate help, would end in consumption. She left word for us to come and pray for her. We went with trembling. I had tried in vain to get an assurance that GOD would work for us, but all seemed dark. But we went into the sick room, relying upon the naked promises of GOD, which seemed so firm that we felt that we could venture out upon them. Her arm was in such a condition that we were obliged to pour the oil upon it. Then we united in prayer, and claimed the promises of GOD. The pain and soreness left the arm while we were praying, and we left her recovering. We found Bro. Hasting’s family in deep affliction. Our dear sister Hastings met us with tears, and exclaimed, “The LORD has sent you to us in time of great need.” She had an infant about eight weeks old which cried continually when awake. This, added to her wretched state of health, was fast wearing away her strength. We prayed earnestly to God for the mother, following the direction given in James v. We had the assurance that our prayers were heard. Jesus was in our midst to break the power of Satan, and release the captive. But we felt sure that the mother could not gain much strength until the cries of the child should cease. We anointed the child and prayed over it, believing that the Lord would111give both mother and child peace. It was done. The cries of the child ceased, and we left them doing well. The gratitude of the mother could not be expressed. Our interview with that dear family was precious. Our hearts were knit together, especially was the heart of sister Hastings knit with mine, as were David’s and Jonathan’s. Our union was not marred while she lived. In about one year from that time, while in Oswego, N. Y., a sad letter reached us, giving information of sister H.’s sudden death. This news fell upon me with crushing weight. It was difficult to be reconciled to it. She was capable of doing much good in the cause of GOD. She was a pillar to the cause of truth, and it seemed indeed to us like a mysterious providence that she should be laid away from our sight, in the grave, and her talents be hid. But GOD works in a mysterious way his wonders to perform. Her death was needed to save her children. Her earnest prayers had gone up to GOD, to save them in any way that he should choose. The mother was snatched away, and then her faithful admonitions, her earnest prayers and many tears were regarded, and had an influence upon the smitten flock. We visited the place after the mother’s death, in June, 1850, and found the father bereaved and lonely, but living for GOD, and bearing well his double burden. He was comforted in his112great grief in seeing his children turning unto the LORD, and earnestly seeking a preparation to meet their dear mother, when the Life-giver shall break the fetters of the tomb, release the captive, and bring her forth immortal. My husband baptized the four eldest children. Since that visit the eldest daughter has died in hope, and rests in the silent grave. Here I will give a statement from Bro. Hastings: “Bro. and sister White made us their first visit in March, 1849. At that time my wife’s health was quite feeble, also our youngest child was much afflicted. Bro. and sister White were moved to pray for him. Their faith prevailed, and he was made whole. From that time to the present, which is about nine years, he has been a rugged, healthy boy. I would here remark that my wife had been afflicted with a severe illness for two succeeding winters. At times she was so weak she could not raise her head from the pillow. Bro. and sister White united in earnest prayer for her. Sister White had a vision, and saw that an angel from GOD had hovered over my wife, and had strengthened her, or life would have departed from her. She saw if GOD’s servants had united in prayer with strong and living faith for her the power of the enemy would have been broken before, and that then his power was broken. From this time until her death, which was one year, she enjoyed perfect health. The season113then enjoyed, in Bro. and Sr. White’s society will ever be remembered by me with feelings of joy and gratitude.” On our return from New Ipswich to Boston, about eight days after we had prayed for sister T., we found her at the wash-tub in the enjoyment of good health. Again we visited Connecticut, and in June, 1849, Sr. Clarissa M. Bonfoey proposed to live with us. Her parents had recently died, and a division of furniture, &c., at the homestead, had given her everything necessary for a small family to commence housekeeping. She cheerfully gave us the use of these things, and did our work. We occupied a part of Bro. Belden’s house at Rocky Hill. Sister B. was a precious child of God. She possessed a cheerful and happy disposition, never gloomy, yet not light and trifling. My husband attended meetings in New Hampshire and Maine, and in his absence I was much troubled, fearing he might take the cholera, which was then prevailing. But one night I dreamed that many were dying with the cholera. My husband proposed that we should walk out. In our walk I noticed that his eyes looked blood-shot, his countenance flushed, and his lips pale. I told him I feared that he would be an easy subject for the cholera. Said he, “Walk on a little further, and I will show you a sure remedy for the114cholera.” As we walked on we came to a bridge over a stream of water. He abruptly left me, and plunged out of sight into the water. I was frightened. But he soon arose, holding in his hand a glass of sparkling water. He drank it, saying, “This water cures all manner of diseases.” He plunged in again out of sight, and brought up another glass of clear water, and as he held it up, repeated the same words. I felt sad that he did not offer me some of the water. Said he, “There is a secret spring in the bottom of this river which cures all manner of diseases, and all who obtain it must plunge at a venture. No one can obtain it for another. Each must plunge for it himself.” As he drank the glass of water, I looked at his countenance. His complexion was fair and natural. He seemed to possess health and vigor. When I awoke, all my fears were dispelled, and I trusted my husband to the care of a merciful GOD, fully believing that he would return him to me in safety. Publishing and Traveling.
On his return my husband was impressed that it was his duty to write and publish the present truth. He was greatly encouraged115and blessed as he decided thus to do. But again he would be in doubt and perplexity. He was penniless. There were those who had means, but they chose to keep it. He at length gave up in discouragement, and decided to look for a field of grass to mow. As he left the house a burden was rolled upon me, and I fainted. Prayer was offered for me, and I was blessed, and taken off in vision. I saw that the LORD had blessed and strengthened my husband to labor in the field one year before. He had made a right disposition of the means he there earned, and that he would have a hundred fold in this life, and, if faithful, a rich reward in the kingdom of GOD. But the LORD would not now give him strength to labor in the field, for he had another work for him. And if he ventured into the field he would be cut down by sickness. He must write, write, write, and walk out by faith. My husband immediately commenced to write. When he came to some difficult passage we would call upon the LORD to give us the true meaning. He published a small sheet at Middletown, eight miles from Rocky Hill, and often walked this distance and back again, although he was then lame. He brought the first number from the printing-office, and we all bowed around it, asking the LORD with humble hearts and many tears, to let his blessing rest upon the feeble efforts of his servant. He then directed the paper to all he thought would read it,116and carried it to the post-office in a carpet-bag. Every number was taken from Middletown to Rocky Hill, and ever before preparing them for the post-office, they were spread before the LORD, and earnest prayer mingled with tears, were offered to GOD that his blessing would attend the silent messengers. Very soon letters came bringing means to publish the paper, and the good news of many souls embracing the truth. July 28th, 1849, my second child, James Edson White, was born. When he was six weeks old we went to Maine. September 14th a meeting was appointed at Paris. They had not had a meeting for one year and a half. Brethren Bates, Chamberlain and Ralph were present, also brethren and sisters from Topsham. F. T. Howland, a notable fanatic, was present. He had long troubled GOD’S children with his errors, and his harsh, rabid spirit. Honest souls, whom the LORD loved, but had long been in error, were at the meeting. While engaged in prayer the Spirit of the LORD rested upon Bro. S. Howland, and his face was white, and a light seemed to rest upon it. He went towards F. T. Howland, and bid him in the name of the LORD leave the assembly of the saints; that he had torn the hearts of GOD’S children, and made them bleed, “Leave the house or GOD will smite you.” That rebellious spirit,117never before known to fear, or yield, sprang for his hat, and in terror left the house. The power of GOD descended, something as it did on the day of Pentecost, and five or six who had been deceived and led into error and fanaticism, fell prostrate to the floor, parents confessed to their children, and children to their parents, and to one another. Bro. J. N. Andrews with deep feeling exclaimed, “I would exchange a thousand errors for one truth.” Such a scene we have seldom witnessed of confessing and pleading with GOD for forgiveness. That meeting was the beginning of better days to the children of GOD in Paris, to them a green spot in the desert. The LORD was bringing out Bro. Andrews to fit him for future usefulness, and was giving him an experience that would be of great value to him in his future labors, that he should not be influenced by the experience of others, but decide for himself concerning the work of GOD. At that meeting I learned that my mother had stepped upon a rusty nail in a board, which had passed through her foot. She had tried every remedy, but nothing removed the inflammation, or eased the pain. We went immediately to Gorham, and found her foot dreadfully swollen. The neighbors had proposed every remedy they could think of, but they accomplished nothing. Mother was threatened with lock-jaw. The next morning we united in118prayer for her. I believed that GOD would restore her to perfect soundness. She was unable to kneel. With a deep sense of my unworthiness, I knelt at my mother’s feet and besought the LORD to touch her with his healing power. We all believed that the LORD heard prayer. With the Spirit of the LORD resting upon me, I bid her in the name of the LORD rise and walk. His power was in the room, and shouts of praise went up to GOD. Mother arose and walked the room, declaring the work was done, all the soreness gone, and that she was entirely relieved from pain. That day she rode thirty-eight miles to Topsham to attend a conference there, and had no more trouble with her foot. Some were anxious to have us visit New York State again; but feeble health sunk my spirits, and it was a time of trial and great despondency with me. I told them that I dare not venture unless the LORD should strengthen me for the task. They prayed for me, and the clouds were scattered, yet I did not obtain that strength I so much desired, but I resolved to walk out by faith and go, clinging to the promise, “My grace is sufficient for you.” GOD had been my helper hitherto, and why should I now doubt? I will still trust in the strong arm of JEHOVAH. If like Paul I am to be troubled with a thorn in the flesh, I will not murmur. It will cause me to feel my dependence119upon GOD, and to walk tremblingly before him. On that journey our faith was tried, but we obtained the victory, and my strength increased, and I could rejoice in GOD. All the strength the LORD had given me was needed to labor in New York. Many had united upon the truth since our first visit, but there was much to be done for them. I will here give an extract of a letter written by my husband, from Volney, N. Y., Nov. 13th, 1849. “DEAR BRO. HOWLAND:—Nov. 3d, we attended a conference at Oswego. There was a large gathering. The increase of Sabbath-keepers since last spring in this region has been more than one half. But there are trials here of a serious nature. We find work enough. Here are some fiery spirits who have much zeal, but little judgment, whose principal message is, “Sell that ye have and give alms.” They press the truth in such a manner and spirit as to disgust, try and harden those who have their hundreds they might use in the cause of GOD. Thus a sore dividing spirit exists. The LORD has revealed these things to Ellen, and she has borne her testimony that both parties were wrong. This testimony I think is received. Tobacco and snuff are being cleared from the camp with very few exceptions.” Selling is a subject that should be treated in a cautious manner. O what a responsibility rests upon GOD’S stewards! With their money120they may ruin some of us, and by withholding it from those whom GOD has called to feed the flock, souls will sink and starve and die. The LORD is about to straighten out all who will be straightened. His work will move on. Amen.” Our labor was difficult. Some of the poor seemed to be envious of the rich, and it needed much wisdom to reprove the errors of the poor without strengthening the hands of the rich. If we reproved the selfishness of the rich, the poorer class would zealously cry, Amen. We presented before both classes the responsibility resting upon the wealthy to make a right use of that which God had lent them, and held up before them the suffering cause of God, which was the true object of their liberalities, and where their means could be well applied. I was also shown that it was not the duty of the wealthy to help those who had health and could help themselves. That some were in very poor circumstances who need not be thus situated. They were not diligent in business. They lacked economy and good management, and it was their duty to reform, and instead of receiving help from their brethren, they should carefully husband their time and provide for their own families, and have something to help the cause of God. That they were as accountable to God for the strength which he had given them as the rich man was for his property. Some of the poor were zealous to attend every conference, taking their whole families with them, consuming a number of days to get to the place of meeting, and then burdening those who provided for the meeting with their unruly children. These were no help in the meetings, and they manifested no fruits of receiving any benefit themselves. They seemed to possess a careless, loafing spirit, which was an injury to the cause. In this way precious time which they were accountable for, was wasted, and in cold weather they must suffer, unless helped by their brethren. These things stood in the way of those who had means. They were constantly vexed with the course of these individuals. And as we labored for the good of the wealthy, these stood directly in our way. It was difficult to impress both classes with a sense of their duty. Yet after much labor and many trials, there seemed to be a reform, and there was more order in the church. The LORD blessed our labors, and often revealed himself to us in remarkable power. We designed going to Lorraine to hold a meeting there, but our little Edson was taken very sick. We carried this matter before the LORD, and felt it to be our duty to go, trusting in him. We prayed for our sick child, and then I took him in my arms in winter, and rode thirty miles, keeping my heart uplifted to GOD for his recovery. When we arrived, Edson was in122a perspiration, and was better. But again our faith was tried. In the course of the meeting the fever returned upon the child. He was suffering with inflammation upon the brain. All night we watched over our child, earnestly praying that the disease might be effectually rebuked. We tried to exercise faith, regardless of appearance, and our petitions were heard, and the child recovered. It did seem to us that an angel of GOD touched him. Our meeting in Lorraine was greatly blessed of GOD. The hearts of the scattered ones were comforted, and some acknowledged with tears that they had been fed with truth. We returned to Volney free in the LORD. We then decided that it was our duty to labor in the State. My husband felt a burden upon him to write and publish. We rented a house in Oswego, and borrowed articles from our brethren, and commenced house-keeping. There my husband wrote, published, and preached. It was necessary for him to keep the armor on every moment, for he often had to contend with professed adventists who were advocating error, and preaching definite time, and were seeking to prejudice all they could against our faith. We took the position that the time they set would pass by. I was shown that the honestly deceived would then see the deception of some whom they then had confidence in, who were zealously preaching time, and they would be led to search for truth. At this time there was quite an excitement among the Methodists in Oswego. They held many meetings, and their leaders were very zealous, praying for and exhorting sinners to be converted. Some of the adventists who were preaching time, often joined them in their meetings, and then would tell us that a glorious work was going on among the Methodists, that GOD was with them, or they would not be thus blessed. The question was often asked, “What do you think of Bro. M.? The LORD works through him in a special manner. He and his wife visit from house to house conversing with sinners, and praying for them, and Bro. M. was engaged so zealously in prayer last night for the mourners who came forward to the anxious-seats, that he broke a blood-vessel, and was carried to his home in a feeble condition.” They triumphed over the believers in present truth. I told them to wait and see the result of the matter, and referred them to Hosea v, 6, 7. But in the midst of the revival M. was arrested and placed in confinement in what was called the “black hole,” while his Methodist brethren were left to carry on the revival. He was suspected of retaining public money for his own use. The matter was investigated, and he took GOD to witness that he had not a cent of their money. And as his wife was about to be searched, she left the room. She was watched, and seen to hide something in the124snow. And as she returned and joined her husband in protesting their innocence, one of the men who watched her, took a bag of money from the snow, brought it in and held it up before them. We visited Camden, about forty miles from Oswego. Previous to going I was shown the little company there who professed the truth, and saw one among them, a female, who professed much piety, but was a hypocrite, and was deceiving the people of GOD. Sabbath morning quite a number collected, but the deceitful woman was not present. I inquired of a sister if this was all their company. She said it was. This woman lived four miles from the place, and the sister did not think of her. Soon she entered, and I knew her. In the course of the meeting she talked quite lengthy, said she had perfect love, and enjoyed holiness of heart. That she did not have trials and temptations, but enjoyed perfect peace and submission to the will of GOD. The brethren and sisters were strangers to me, and they seemed to have confidence in her, and I feared that they would not receive my testimony if I should state what had been shown me in regard to her. I inquired concerning this person, and was informed that she appeared to be the most zealous one among them. I left the meeting with sad feelings, and returned to Bro. Preston’s. That night I dreamed that a secret125closet was opened to me, filled with rubbish, and I was told that it was my work to clear it out. With the aid of a lamp I removed the rubbish, and told them the room could be supplied with more valuable things. Sunday morning we met with the brethren. My husband arose to preach on the parable of the ten virgins. He had no freedom in speaking, and proposed that we have a season of prayer. We bowed before the LORD and engaged in earnest prayer. The dark cloud was lifted, and I was taken off in vision, and again shown the case of this woman. She was represented to me to be in perfect darkness. JESUS frowned upon her and her husband. That withering frown caused me to tremble. I saw that she had acted the hypocrite, professed holiness, while her heart was full of corruption. After I came out of vision I related what I had seen with trembling, yet with faithfulness. I was severely tried, and troubled for the people of GOD. Would those present believe the testimony? The woman put on a calm appearance and said, “I am glad the LORD knows my heart. He knows that I love him.” Then her husband rose in anger, and laying his hand on the Bible said, “The Bible is all we want, I shall not give up the Bible for visions.” His wife affected to check him, saying, “Don’t, husband, dear, don’t talk, the LORD knows me, and will take care of it all.” Then she vindicated126herself, saying, “If my heart could only be opened that you might see it.” I knew the minds of some were unsettled, whether to believe the vision, or let her appearance weigh against the testimony borne, for her appearance was perfectly calculated to get sympathy. I had discharged a painful duty and GOD would take care of the result. As we left, she said she had no hard feelings against me, and that she should pray for me, and if I got to heaven I should see her there. We returned with Bro. Preston’s family, and that night the LORD met with us. I believed that the LORD would show his people the truth, and justify the vision. The neighbors said that I had abused the poor woman. Not long after this, terrible fear seized this woman. A horror rested upon her, and she began to confess. She even went from house to house among her unbelieving neighbors, and confessed that the man she had been living with for years was not her husband, that she ran away from England and left a kind husband and one child. She also confessed that she had professed to understand medicine, and had taken oath that the bottles of mixture she made cost her one dollar, when they cost her only twelve cents. Said that she had taken thirty dollars from a poor man by taking a false oath, and many such wicked acts she confessed, and her repentance seemed to be genuine. In127some cases she restored where she had taken away wrongfully. In one instance she started on foot forty miles to confess. We could see the hand of GOD in this matter. He gave her no rest day nor night, until she confessed her sins publicly, that GOD’s work might be vindicated. Visit to Vermont and Maine.
While in Oswego, N. Y., we decided to visit Vermont and Maine. I left my little Edson, then nine months old, in the care of Sr. Bonfoey, while we went on our way to do the will of GOD. It was much harder laboring then than it is now. We labored very hard, suffering many privations, to accomplish but little. We found the brethren and sisters in a scattered and confused state. Almost every one was affected by some error, and all seemed zealous for their own opinions. We often suffered intense anguish of mind to meet with so few who were ready to listen to Bible truth, while they eagerly cherished error and fanaticism. We were obliged to make a tedious route of forty miles by stage to get to Sutton, the place of our appointment. I was sick, and traveled in much pain. My husband feared128every moment that I would faint, and often whispered to me to have faith in GOD. Our silent yet earnest prayers were going up to heaven for strength to endure. Every ten miles the horses were changed, which was a great relief to me, as I could step into a hotel and rest a few minutes, by lying down. The LORD heard us pray, and strengthened me to finish the journey. The first night despondency pressed upon me. I tried to overcome it, but it seemed impossible to control my thoughts. My little ones burdened my mind. We had left one in the State of Maine, two years and eight months old, and another babe in New York, nine months old. We had just performed a tedious journey. I thought of those who were enjoying the society of their children in their own quiet homes. I reviewed our past life, called to mind expressions which had been made by a sister only a few days before, who thought it must be very pleasant to be riding through the country without anything to trouble me. It was just such a life as she should delight in. At that very time my heart had just been yearning for my children, especially my babe, in New York, and I had just come from my sleeping room where I had been battling with my feelings, and with many tears had besought the LORD for strength to subdue all murmuring, and cheerfully deny myself for JESUS’ sake. I129thought that perhaps all regarded my journeyings in this light, and have not the least idea of the self-denial and sacrifice required to journey from place to place, meeting cold hearts, distant looks and severe speeches, separated from those who are closely entwined around my heart. While riding in the cars I was unable to sit up. My husband made a bed on the seat, and I laid down with aching head and heart. The burden borne for others I dreaded above everything else. Agony of mind was my lot. All these things came before me that night, and I found myself saying, “It won’t pay! It won’t pay! So much labor to accomplish so little.” In this state of mind I fell asleep and dreamed that a tall angel stood by my side, and asked me why I was sad. I related to him the thoughts that had troubled me, and said, “I can do so little good, why may we not be with our children, and enjoy their society? Said he, “You have given to the LORD two beautiful flowers, the fragrance of which is as sweet incense before him, and is more precious in his sight than gold or silver, for it is a heart gift. It draws upon every fibre of the heart as no other sacrifice can. You should not look upon present appearances, but keep the eye single to your duty, single to GOD’S glory, and follow in his opening providence, and the path shall brighten before you. Every self-denial,130every sacrifice is faithfully recorded, and will bring its reward.” The blessing of the LORD attended our conference at Sutton. After the meeting closed we went on our way to Canada East. My throat troubled me much. I could not speak aloud, or even whisper, without causing me suffering. We rode, praying as we went, for strength to endure the journey. About every ten miles we were obliged to stop that I might rest. My husband braided the tall grass and tied the horse to it, giving him a chance to feed, then spread my cloak upon the grass for a resting-place for me. Thus we continued until we arrived at Melbourne. We expected to meet opposition there. Many who professed to believe in the near coming of our SAVIOUR fought against the law of GOD. We felt the need of strength from God. I could not speak aloud, and inquired, For what have I come this long distance? Again we tried to exercise faith, knowing that our only help was in God. We prayed that the Lord would manifest himself unto us. My earnest prayer was for the disease to leave my throat, and that my voice might be restored. I had the evidence that the hand of God there touched me. The difficulty was instantly removed. My voice was clear. The candle of the Lord shone about us during that meeting, and we had the victory. The children of God were greatly strengthened and encouraged. We then returned to Vermont. Again my voice failed me. We had an appointment at Johnson, and found quite a number of brethren and sisters collected. Some were in a perplexed and tried condition. Certain fanatics had imposed upon them, and cast a fear over them which held them in bondage. The conscientious were so fearful of offending GOD, and had so little confidence in themselves, that they dared not rise and assert their liberty. The night after we arrived I fainted a number of times through weakness. But in answer to prayer I was revived, and strength was given me of the LORD to go through the meeting. We knew that the next day we should have to battle with the powers of darkness, and that Satan would muster his forces. In the morning the individuals who had so long deceived and oppressed GOD’s children came into the meeting, Libbey and Bailey, and two females, with white linen dresses to represent the righteousness of the saints, and their long, black hair hung loose about their shoulders. I had a message for them, and while I was speaking L. kept his black eyes fastened upon me, but I had no fear of his influence. Strength was given me from heaven to rise above their satanic power. The children of GOD who had been held in bondage began to breathe free, and rejoice in the LORD. As our meeting progressed, these fanatics132sought to rise and speak, but they could not find opportunity. But as prayer was being offered at the close of the meeting, B. came to the door and commenced speaking. The door was closed upon him. He opened the door, and again commenced to speak. The power of GOD fell upon my husband, and the color left his face. He arose from his knees, and as he laid his hand upon B., exclaimed, “The LORD does not want your testimony here. The LORD does not want you here to distract and crush his people!” The power of GOD filled the room, and B. commenced to walk backward out of the house. The power of GOD in the house was painful to that fanatical party. B. looked terrified. He staggered and came near falling to the floor. The place was awful on account of the presence of the LORD. All that company of darkness left the place, and the sweet Spirit of the LORD rested upon his dear, tried children. The cause of GOD in Vt. had been cursed by fanatical spirits, but at this meeting they received a check which they never recovered from. We returned from Vt. very anxious to see our child we had left in N. Y. We had been from him five weeks, and as we met him, and he clasped his little arms about my neck, and laid his head upon my shoulder, I saw that a great change had taken place in him. He was very feeble. My feelings cannot be described.133It was difficult to suppress murmuring feelings. These thoughts would arise, I left him in the hands of GOD, and do I find him in this condition? My agonized feelings found relief in tears. Then I became more calm and reconciled to the will of GOD. We tried to look at the child’s case in as favorable a light as possible. I was comforted with these words, The LORD “doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men.” We felt that our only hope was in GOD, and prayed for the child and obtained signal answers to our prayers. The Spirit of the LORD rested upon us, and his symptoms became more favorable, and we journeyed with him to Oswego to attend a conference there. Brn. Holt and Rhodes were in company with us. When we reached the Railroad, my husband took the cars that he might be present at the commencement of the meeting. We were to tarry one night at Camden, and the next day go on to Oswego. But we were disappointed. Our horse was sick, and we must show some mercy to faithful Charley. Brn. R. and H. urged us to drive faster. I told them that Charley was a free horse, and must be sick, and I could not urge him. It was getting late in the afternoon and we had ten miles further to go before reaching Camden. Bro. R. proposed that Bro. H. take our horse and come on slowly, and that Sr. Bonfoey and myself get into his carriage,134and he would drive on to get to Bro. Preston’s before dark. We did so. While in Tipton, Iowa, March, 1860, we met the report that I frequently traveled with Bro. R. This is the only time I ever rode with Bro. R. without my husband, and on this occasion Sr. Bonfoey was with me. Other reports equally groundless were circulated by a Mr. M. who had moved from Camden to Iowa, relative to the death of Sr. Prior. It was stated that we were the cause of her not having medical aid. I will briefly state that we knew nothing of Sr. P.’s sickness, were in Rochester, above one hundred miles from Camden, when this matter occurred, and we had no knowledge of her death until a brother from Camden visited Rochester and brought us the intelligence. There were but two families engaged in this matter. After this we visited Camden, and I was shown in vision that there had been a lack of judgment in regard to the case of Sr. P. in giving their influence against her obtaining medical aid. I saw that they had carried matters to extremes, and that the cause of GOD was wounded and our faith reproached, on account of such things, which were fanatical in the extreme. The reproof given and the plain testimony borne in regard to these things was the cause of E. W. W. turning from me and taking his position with the “Messenger” party in circulating falsehoods calculated to injure me. We believe in the prayer of faith; but some have carried this matter too far, especially those who have been affected with fanaticism. Some have taken the strong ground that it was wrong to use simple remedies. We have never taken this position, but have opposed it. We believe it to be perfectly right to use the remedies God has placed in our reach, and if these fail, apply to the great Physician, and in some cases the counsel of an earthly physician is very necessary. This position we have always held.
It was quite a disappointment to us not to be able to attend the conference at Oswego. Sunday the horse was able to travel, and Sr. B. and I journeyed on very slowly. As we were within five miles of Oswego it shut in dark, and thundered and lightened, and rained very hard. As we entered Oswego not a person was to be seen. The darkness was intense. We wished to find Bro. Goodwin’s. I was obliged to step from the wagon a number of times, and wait for the lightning’s flash to see where we were. In this way we passed on. Again I stepped from the wagon, and the vivid lightning showed me that we were opposite Bro. G.’s house. Those in the house were perfectly astonished to meet me so late at night in such a fearful storm. The only way they found the horse and wagon was by the lightning’s flash. As we entered the well-lighted, comfortable pilgrim’s home we felt grateful to GOD that he136had preserved us on the road, and that our child was no worse.