Earlier text: Call to TravelAbout this time I was subjected to a severe trial. If the Spirit of the LORD rested upon a brother or sister in meeting, and they glorified GOD by praising him, some raised the cry of mesmerism. And if it pleased the LORD to give me a vision in meeting, some would say, “It is excitement and mesmerism.” Grieved and desponding, I often went alone to some retired place to pour out my soul before Him who invites the weary and heavy laden to come and find rest. As my faith claimed the promises, JESUS seemed very near. The sweet light of heaven shone around me, and there have I been taken off in vision. Then I would relate what GOD had revealed to me alone, where no earthly influence could affect me; but I was told by some that I mesmerized myself, and that those who lived the nearest to GOD were most liable to be deceived by Satan. According to this teaching, our only safety from delusion was to remain quite a distance from GOD in a backslidden state. O, thought I, has it come to this, that those who honestly go to GOD alone to plead his promises, and to claim his salvation, are to be charged with being under the foul influence of mesmerism? Do we ask our kind FATHER in heaven for bread, only to receive a stone or a scorpion?58These things wounded my spirit, and wrung my soul in keen anguish, well nigh to despair, while many would have me believe that there was no Holy Spirit, and that all the exercises that holy men of GOD have experienced, were only mesmerism or the deceptions of Satan. At this time visions were given me to correct the errors of those who had taken the extreme view of some texts of Scripture, and refrained wholly from labor, and rejected all those who would not receive their views on this point, and some other things which they held to be religious duties. GOD revealed these errors to me in vision, and sent me to his erring children to declare them; but many of them wholly rejected the message, and charged me with conforming to the world. On the other hand, the nominal Adventists charged me with fanaticism, and I was falsely, and by some, wickedly, represented as being the leader of the fanaticism that I was laboring to do away. Different times were set for the LORD to come, and were urged upon the brethren. But the LORD showed me that they would pass by, for the time of trouble must come before the coming of CHRIST, and that every time that was set, and passed, would only weaken the faith of GOD’s people. For this I was charged with being with the evil servant, that said in his heart, “My LORD delayeth his coming.” All these things weighed heavily upon my spirits, and in the confusion, I was sometimes tempted to doubt my own experience. And while at family worship one morning, the power of God began to rest upon me, and the thought rushed into my mind that it was mesmerism, and I resisted it. Immediately I was struck dumb, and for a few moments was lost to everything around me. I then saw my sin in doubting the power of God, and that for so doing I was struck dumb, and that my tongue should be loosed in less than twenty-four hours. A card was held up before me, on which was written in gold letters the chapter and verse of the following texts of Scripture:
Luke i, 20; John xvi, 15; Acts ii, 4; iv, 29–31; Matt. vii, 6–12, 15; xxiv, 24; Col. ii, 6–8; Heb. x, 35–39; iv, 10–12; Phil. i, 6, 27–29; ii, 13–15; Eph. vi, 10–18; iv, 32; 1 Pet. i, 22; John xiii, 34, 35; 2 Cor. xiii, 5; 1 Cor. iii, 10–13; Acts xx, 28–30; Gal. i, 6–9; Luke xii, 3–7; iv, 10, 11; 2 Cor. iv, 6–9, 17, 18; 1 Pet. i, 5–7; 1 Thess. iii, 8; Mark xvi, 17, 18; John ix, 20–27; xiv, 13–15; xv, 7, 8; Mark i, 23–25; Rom. viii, 38, 39; Rev. iii, 7–13; xiv, 4, 5; Phil. iii, 20; James v, 7, 8; Phil. iii, 21; Rev. xiv, 14–17; Heb. iv, 9; Rev. xxi, 2; xiv, 1; xxii, 1–5. After I came out of vision, I beckoned for60the slate, and wrote upon it that I was dumb, also what I had seen, and that I wished the large Bible. I took the Bible and readily turned to all the texts that I had seen upon the card. I conversed that day with slate and pencil. Next morning my tongue was loosed to shout the praises of GOD. After that, I dared not doubt my experience, or for a moment resist the power of GOD, however others might think of me. Up to this time I could not write. My trembling hand was unable to hold my pen steadily. While in vision I was commanded by an angel to write the vision. I attempted it, and wrote readily. My nerves were strengthened, and my hand became steady. It was very crossing for me to relate to individuals what I had been shown concerning their wrongs. It caused me great distress to see others troubled or grieved. And when obliged to declare the messages, I often softened them down and related what I had seen as favorable for the individual as I could, and then would go by myself and weep in agony of spirit. I looked upon those who had only their own souls to care for, and thought if I were in their condition I would not murmur. How could I relate the plain, cutting testimonies given me of GOD? I anxiously watched the result, and if the individual reproved, rose up against it, and afterwards opposed the truth, these queries61would arise in my mind. Did I deliver the message just as I should? Oh, GOD! could there not have been some way to save them? And then such distress hung upon my soul, I often felt that death would be a welcome messenger, and the grave a sweet resting-place. I did not realize that I was so unfaithful, and did not see the danger and sin of such a course, until I was taken in vision into the presence of JESUS. He looked upon me with a frown, and turned his face from me. It is not possible to describe the terror and agony I then felt. I fell upon my face before him, but had no power to utter a word. O, how I longed to be covered and hid from that dreadful frown. Then could I realize, in some degree, what the feelings of the lost will be when they cry, “Mountains and rocks, fall on us, and hide us from the face of Him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the LAMB.” Presently an angel bid me rise, and the sight that met my eyes can hardly be described. A company was presented before me whose hair and garments were torn, and whose countenances were the very picture of despair and horror. They came close to me, and took their garments and rubbed them on mine. I looked at my garments, and saw that they were stained with blood. Again I fell like one dead, at the feet of my accompanying angel. I could not plead one excuse, and longed to be away62from such a holy place. Again the angel stood me up on my feet, and said, “This is not your case now, but this scene has passed before you to let you know what your situation must be, if you neglect to declare to others what the LORD has revealed to you. But if you are faithful to the end, you shall eat of the tree of life, and shall drink of the river of the water of life. You will have to suffer much, but the grace of GOD is sufficient.” I then felt willing to do all that the LORD might require me to do, that I might have his approbation, and not feel his dreadful frown. While visiting my sisters in Poland, I was afflicted with sickness. Those present united in prayer in my behalf, and the disease was rebuked. Angels seemed to be in the room, and all was light and glory. I was again taken off in vision, and shown that I must go about three miles to a meeting, and when there should learn what the LORD would have me do. We went and found quite a large gathering of the brethren and sisters. None had known of any special meeting. J. T. was there. He had boasted that he understood the art of mesmerism, and that he could mesmerize me; that he could prevent me from having a vision, or telling a vision in his presence. There were many present who had heard this boast. I arose in the congregation. My visions came up fresh before me, and I commenced relating63them, when I felt a human influence being exerted against me. I looked at J. T. He had his hand up to his face, and was looking through his fingers, his eyes intently fixed upon me. His lips were compressed, and a low groan now and then escaped him. In a moment I remembered the promise which the LORD had given me, and turned to him and related what the LORD had shown me in Portland; that if I was in danger of being affected by a human influence, to ask for another angel, who would be sent to protect me. I then raised my hands to heaven and earnestly cried, Another angel, FATHER! another angel! I knew that my request was granted. I felt shielded by the strong Spirit of the LORD, and was borne above every earthly influence, and with freedom finished my testimony. The saints were comforted, and rejoiced in the LORD. J. T. was asked why he had not stopped my relating the vision? He answered, “Oh, some of you would have her talk.” With strong confidence, rejoicing in GOD, we returned to my sister’s. Some in Paris, Me., believed that it was sin to work. Jesse Stevens was leader in this error, and exerted a strong influence over others. He had been a Methodist preacher and was considered a faithful christian. He had won the confidence of many by his zeal for the truth, and apparent holy living, which caused64some to believe him especially directed of the LORD. The LORD gave me a reproof for him; that he was going contrary to the word of GOD in abstaining from labor, and urging his errors upon others, denouncing all who did not receive them. He rejected every evidence which the LORD gave to convince him of his error, and was firm to take nothing back in his course. He followed impressions and went weary journeys, walking great distances, where he would only receive abuse, and considered that he was suffering for CHRIST'S sake. The LORD gave me faithful messages for this man, and I was sent long distances to warn the people of God against the errors he was urging upon them. At one time I was shown that I must go to Paris, for there was a meeting appointed which I must attend. I followed the directions given me, and there learned that S. had notified the brethren that there was to be a great meeting the next day at the house of Bro. C., and he urged all to attend. The next morning we went to the place appointed for meeting. When S. came in and saw us present he seemed troubled. The meeting commenced with prayer. Then as I tried to pray, the blessing of the LORD rested upon me, and I was taken off in vision. S. had declared that he would listen to nothing65but Bible. I was shown what the Bible taught in contrast with his errors. I then saw that the frown of GOD was upon him; that he was leading astray honest, conscientious souls. They feared to differ with him. Yet they saw inconsistencies in his faith, and their judgment told them he was wrong. His object in appointing that meeting was to make an effort to strengthen the cords of error with which he had bound these souls. I saw that GOD would work for the salvation of his people; that S. would soon fully manifest himself, and all the honest would see that it was not a right spirit which actuated him, and that his career would soon close. I was told by those present that he would hear no more, and took his hat and left the house. Soon after this the snare was broken, and he could have but little influence over souls. He denounced the visions as being of the Devil, and continued to follow his impressions, until Satan seemed to take the full control of his mind. His friends at length were obliged to confine him, where he made a rope of some of his bed clothing with which he hung himself. Thus ended his career. At my father’s house in Portland, I was shown that I must go to Portsmouth the next day and bear my testimony there. My sister Sarah traveled with me, and Bro. White accompanied us. I had no means to pay my fare,66but prepared to go, trusting in the Lord to open the way. The first car bell was ringing, as I put on my bonnet. I looked out of the window, and saw a good brother driving very fast up to the gate. His horse was reeking with sweat. He quickly entered the house, and asked, “Is there any one here who needs means? I was impressed that some one here needed money.” We hastily related that we were going to Portsmouth at the LORD’s bidding, and had nothing to go with, but resolved to start, trusting in the providence of GOD to open the way. The brother handed us money enough to carry us to Portsmouth and back. Said he, “Take a seat in my wagon, and I will carry you to the depôt.” While on the way he told us he could not hold his horse, he would come with great speed. The distance was twelve miles. We had just taken our seats when the cars started. Here the LORD tested and proved us, and strengthened our faith as we were brought into a very straight place, and were carried through by the manifestation of his providence. I had freedom in bearing my testimony in Portsmouth. I was then shown that I must visit Massachusetts, and there bear my testimony. When we reached Boston, I learned that T., who opposed me in Maine, arrived a few hours before. We considered our being sent to Massachusetts just at that time, was to save God’s people from falling under his influence. It was arranged that I should go to Roxbury and there relate my message. I found a large company collected in a private house. I felt the opposition that existed in the hearts of my brethren and sisters, yet in the strength of the LORD delivered my unpopular message. As I was speaking, a sister who had been opposed to me, arose and interrupted me. She grasped my hand, saying, “I said that the Devil sent you, but I can doubt no longer,” and she declared to those present that I was a child of GOD, and that he had sent me. All in the meeting were greatly blessed. The power of the LORD attended the testimony, and every heart was comforted and refreshed. T. Haskins who had usually led in their meetings, arose with his countenance beaming with joy, and said, “The same power attends this, that attended the truth in 1844. I do not expect to find another so green a spot this side of our68deliverance.” We next visited Bro. Nichols’ family in Dorchester, and had a meeting there of the deepest interest. Again H. testified that the LORD had abundantly blessed him, and that he could go forty days on the strength he there received. But T. was exerting his influence to discourage and close up my way by spreading lying reports concerning me. H., who had been made so happy as he received my testimony, fell under the influence of T., and as his mind turned, he became unsettled, then unstable. It was evident that he was rejecting the counsel of GOD against himself. He seemed unhappy, and finally went into the spiritual view of the second advent, and received the grossest errors, neglected his family, took a spiritual wife, and his lawful wife died of a broken heart. I next visited Randolph, New Bedford and Carver. The LORD gave me liberty in all these places to bear my testimony, which was generally received, and the desponding and weak were strengthened. I made it my home at the house of Bro. O. Nichols. They were ever ready with words of encouragement to comfort me when in trial, and often their prayers ascended to heaven in my behalf, until the clouds were dispersed, and the light of heaven again cheered me. Nor did their kindness end here. They were attentive to my wants, and generously supplied me with means to travel.69They were reproached because they took a stand in favor of my visions, and on account of this they were obliged to be in almost constant conflict, for many were anxious to turn them against me. A faithful record is kept of their acts of love and benevolence. They will not lose their reward. He that seeth in secret is acquainted with every kind and generous act, and will reward them openly. Soon H., who had opposed me in Maine, came in great haste to Massachusetts with a document to destroy my influence. I have never had the privilege of reading it, or hearing it read, and have not been able to obtain a copy of it to this day. This document was read in my absence, when I could not answer for myself. As near as I can learn, H. got up the document, then urged a sister, who was occasionally with me during the two weeks of my extreme sickness, when my mind wandered, as stated on page 51, to sign it. She was then on a sick bed, suffering great confusion of mind, and to get rid of H., consented to have him sign her name to the document. At a later period this sister confessed to me in tears her regret that her name was ever attached to the document. She is not a Sabbath-keeper, yet has since cheerfully given her name to a certificate on another page which kills the slanderous document. May the LORD lead this sister to embrace the third message, and may70we again enjoy sweet union as when at her altar of prayer, I had my first vision as stated on page 30. We learned from one who had heard the document read in Boston and Roxbury, that H. had gone to Carver to read it there. At first I felt distressed. I could not see why GOD should suffer me thus to be reproached. I had to suffer anguish of spirit for others, and now my character was attacked. For a short time I sunk in discouragement. But as I went before the LORD with this severe trial, he gave me grace to bear it. His strong arm supported me. I was not suffering as an evil-doer, but for CHRIST’S sake, and how many had suffered the same before me, even JESUS, the SAVIOUR of the world, was reproached and falsely accused, and these words seemed ever before me, “Are ye able to drink of the cup?” Can “ye be baptized with the baptism?” I felt, as I was bowed before the LORD, that I could say, Let me know the fellowship of CHRIST’S sufferings. I knew what was reported as being in that document was false, and JESUS knew it, then why should I be troubled? I fully believed that JESUS was soon to come, and then my name, which was handled so maliciously here, would be justified. I there consecrated myself, my name and all, to GOD, and with reconciliation could say, Only let my poor name be written in the LAMB’S book of life,71and men may handle it just as GOD suffers them. Let me suffer with CHRIST that I may reign with him. My sister had previously gone to Carver, expecting Bro. Nichols to bring me in a few days. She was present at the reading of that document. She suffered on my account. H. said in the morning that he had been in a horror of darkness all night. No wonder. He feared my sister would expose him in his past fanatical course; but she would not condescend to mention those groveling acts of fanaticism in that portion of his career that she was acquainted with. I bear no ill will to those who used me thus. In a little from this the slanderer and the liar will receive their reward. That which they have sown they shall also reap. I could look up and rejoice from the depths of my heart, that there was a living God, Judge over all, who is acquainted with every heart, and to him I committed my cause. In a few weeks I visited Carver, and found that a few had been influenced by H. But in many instances where the way had been previously closed up, it was now opened, and I had more friends than I had before. There was a young sister in the house where we tarried who was subject to fits, and she was afflicted with this most distressing disease while we were there. All seemed to be alarmed.72Some said, “Go for the doctor;” others, “Put on the tea-kettle for hot water.” I felt the spirit of prayer. We prayed to the LORD to deliver the afflicted. In the name and strength of JESUS I put my arms around her, and lifted her up from the bed, and rebuked the power of Satan, and bid her, “Go free.” She was instantly brought out of the fit, and praised the LORD with us. We had a solemn, refreshing season in this place. We told them that we had not come to defend character, or to expose the wickedness of men who were laboring to destroy our influence, but to do our MASTER’S will, and GOD would take care of the result of the efforts made by designing men. Our hearts were strengthened and the church encouraged. About this time sister C. S. Minor came from Philadelphia, and we met in Boston. Different errors were affecting the Advent people. The spiritual view of CHRIST’S coming, that great deception of Satan, was ensnaring many, and we were often obliged, through a sense of duty, to bear a strong testimony against it. Sr. M.’s influence went in favor of spiritualism, although she felt unwilling to acknowledge it. Those who would stand clear from this influence were obliged to be decided, and have nothing to do with it, but in the fear of GOD bear their testimony against it. As we were about to journey to New Bedford,73a special message came to me from Sr. M. to come and relate what the LORD had shown me. Bro. N. took my sister and myself to the house where quite a number were collected. There were individuals present whom I had been shown were strong fanatics. They dealt in a human or satanic influence, and called it the Spirit of GOD. I had not seen them before with my natural eyes, yet their countenances were familiar; for their errors and corrupting influence had been shown me and I felt forbidden to relate my vision in such a company. There were some present that we loved; but they had been led away in this deception. The leading ones considered this a favorable opportunity to exert their influence over me, and cause me to yield to their views. I knew their only object was to mangle the visions, spiritualize away their literal meaning, and throw a satanic influence upon me, and call it the power of GOD. Sr. M. addressed me, urging me to relate the visions. I respected her, but knew she was deceived in regard to that company. I refused to relate my vision to them, only that part which related to them. We told them we had no fellowship for their spirit, and in the name of GOD would resist it. They flattered; but it had no effect. Then they tried to terrify me, commanding me. They said it was my duty to tell them the visions. I faithfully warned those whom I74believed to be honest, and begged them to renounce their errors, and leave the company that was leading them astray. I left them, free from their influence and spirit. A portion of that company in a few weeks were left to run into the basest fanaticism. Those were troublesome times. If we had not stood stiffly then, we should have made shipwreck of our faith. Some said we were stubborn; but we were obliged to set our faces as a flint, and turn not to the right hand nor to the left. Those who believed in the spiritual coming of CHRIST, were so insinuating, like the serpent in the garden, to suit their purpose they would profess such a mild, meek spirit, that we had to be on our guard, strengthened on every side with scripture testimony concerning the literal, personal appearing of our SAVIOUR. I have often seen the lovely JESUS, that he is a person. I asked him if his FATHER was a person, and had a form like himself. Said JESUS, “I am in the express image of my FATHER’S PERSON.” I have often seen that the spiritual view took away the glory of heaven, and that in many minds the throne of David, and the lovely person of JESUS had been burned up in the fire of spiritualism. By invitation of Bro. and Sr. Nichols, my sister S. and myself again went to Massachusetts, and made their house our home. There was in Boston and vicinity a company of fanatical persons, who held that it was a sin to labor. Their principal message was, “Sell that ye have and give alms.” They said they were in the Jubilee, the land should rest, and the poor must be supported without labor. Sargent, Robbins, and some others, were leaders. They denounced my visions as being of the Devil, because I had been shown their errors. They were severe upon all who did not believe with them. While we were visiting at Bro. N.’s, R. and S. came from Boston to obtain a favor of Bro. N., and said they had come to have a visit, and tarry over night with him. Bro. N. replied that he was glad they had come, for sisters Sarah and Ellen were in the house, and wished them to become acquainted with us. They changed their mind at once, and could not be persuaded to come into the house. Bro. N. asked if I could relate my message in Boston, and if they would hear, and then judge. “Yes,” said they. “Come into Boston next Sabbath, we would like the privilege of hearing her.” Accordingly we designed to visit Boston, but in the evening, at the commencement of the Sabbath, I was shown in vision that we must not go into Boston, but in an opposite direction to Randolph; that the LORD had a work for us to do there. We went to Randolph, and found a large room full collected, and among them those who said they would be pleased to hear my message in Boston. As we entered, R. and S. looked at each other in surprise, and began to groan. They had promised to meet me in Boston, but thought they would disappoint us by going to Randolph, and while we were in Boston, warn the brethren against us. They did not have much freedom. At intermission one of their number remarked that good matter would be brought out in the afternoon. Sr. N. answered, “I believe it.” R. told my sister that I could not have a vision where he was. In the afternoon the blessing of the LORD rested upon me, and I was taken off in vision. I was again shown the errors of R. and S., and others united with them. I saw that they could not prosper; that truth would triumph in the end, and error be brought down. I was shown that they were not honest, and then I was carried into the future and shown some thing of the course they would pursue, that they would continue to despise the teachings of the LORD, despise reproof, and that they77would be left in total darkness, to resist GOD’S Spirit until their folly should be made manifest to all. A chain of truth was presented to me from the scriptures, in contrast with their errors. When I came out of vision, candles were burning. I had been in vision nearly four hours. As I was unconscious to all that transpired around me while in vision, I will copy from Bro. Nichols’ description of that meeting. “Sister Ellen was taken off in vision with extraordinary manifestations, and continued talking in vision with a clear voice, which could be distinctly understood by all present, until about sundown. S., R. and F. were much exasperated, as well as excited, to hear sister E. talk in vision, which they declared was of the Devil; they exhausted all their influence, and bodily strength, to destroy the effect of the vision. They would unite in singing very loud; and then alternately would talk and read from the Bible in a loud voice, in order that E. might not be heard, until their strength was exhausted, and their hands would shake so they could not read from the Bible. But amidst all this confusion and noise, E.’s clear and shrill voice, as she talked in vision, was distinctly heard by all present. The opposition of these men continued as long as they could talk and sing, notwithstanding some of their own friends rebuked them, and requested them to78stop. But says R, ‘You are bowed to an idol; you are worshiping a golden calf.’ Mr. Thayer, the owner of the house, was not fully satisfied that her vision was of the Devil, as R. declared it to be. He wanted it tested in some way. He had heard that visions of satanic power were arrested by opening the Bible and laying it on the person in vision, and asked S. if he would test it in this way, which he declined to do. Then Thayer took a heavy, large quarto family Bible which was laying on the table, and seldom used, opened it, and laid it open upon the breast of E. while in vision, as she was then inclined backward against the wall in the corner of the room. Immediately after the Bible was laid upon her, she arose upon her feet, and walked into the middle of the room, with the Bible open in one hand, and lifted up as high as she could reach, and with her eyes steadily looking upward, declared in a solemn manner, ‘The inspired testimony from GOD,’ or words of the same import. And then she continued for a long time, while the Bible was extended in one hand, and her eyes looking upwards, and not on the Bible, to turn over the leaves with her other hand, and place her finger upon certain passages, and correctly utter their words with a solemn voice. Many present looked at the passages where her finger was pointed, to see if she spoke them correctly, for her eyes at the same time were79looking upwards. Some of the passages referred to were judgments against the wicked and blasphemers; and others were admonitions and instructions relative to our present condition. “In this state she continued all the afternoon until near sunset, when she came out of vision. When E. arose in vision upon her feet, with the heavy open Bible in her hand, and walked the room, uttering the passages of scripture, S., R. and F. were silenced. For the remainder of the time they were troubled, with many others; but they shut their eyes and braved it out without making any acknowledgement of their feelings.”