p. 21 | ADMONITIONS TO PARENTS by A. A. Dodge

Publishing Committee · Rochester, N. Y. · Jun 23, 1853

ADMONITIONS TO PARENTS

By A. A. Dodge

BY A. A. DODGE.

I HAVE felt for some time, that I would try to point out to my brethren and sisters, who are parents, "the admonitions of the Lord," concerning their duty to their children.

I was led to look over that which had already been written on this subject, and I came to the conclusion it would suffice: yet, on account of the interest I feel, and the fears I entertain, by beholding the insensibility that has apparently stolen upon some, which has so pained my heart, I still am constrained to entreat my brethren and sisters, to look diligently into the word of the Lord, and see their duty to those whom God has intrusted to their care, to rear for heaven. Truly, what great and precious promises the Lord has made to his people respecting their children.

When God spake all these words,—the ten commandments, to ancient Israel, he had special care for "thy son," and "thy daughter," that they should "rest as well as thou;" and he, also, gave a commandment, specially for the children to obey. The people said, "we will hear it, and do it." "The Lord heard their voice," and he said, "O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!"—Deut. v, 29.

Moses being instructed by the Lord, continued to exhort the people to "take heed" and keep their souls "diligently, lest they should forget, 'Specially the day that thou stoodest before the Lord thy God in Horeb, when the Lord said unto me, gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children." "Thou shalt keep therefore his statutes, and his commandments, which I command thee this day, that it may go well with thee, and with thy children after thee." "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deut. iv, 9, 10, 40; vi, 7-9; xi, 19, 20, 27. And a blessing, if they and their children would "obey the commandments of the Lord their God." And even if they should forget, and the curse come upon them, it was said, if they would return and obey the voice of the Lord their God, they and their children,—children which have not known anything, may hear, and learn,—"to observe to do, all the words of this law," "with all their heart, and with all their soul," then the Lord their God would have compassion. Deut. xxx, 2, 3; xxxi, 13; xxxii, 46; Psa. lxxviii, 5-11.

The little ones of ancient Israel, entered the promised land: and their enemies, and their little ones, were "utterly destroyed," and left none to remain! Deut. i, 39; ii, 34.

When "the days of David drew nigh that he should die," "he charged Solomon" to keep the commandments of the Lord, that he might continue his word, "saying, If thy children take heed to their way, to walk before me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul, there shall not fail thee (said he) a man on the throne of Israel." And when "the house of the Lord was finished," "the Lord appeared to Solomon, and said unto him, "If you shall at all turn from following me, you or your children, and will not keep my commandments and my statutes which I have set before you,"—"Then will I cut off Israel out of the land which I have given them." 1 Kings ii, 1-4; ix, 1, 6, 7; 2 Chron. vi, 16; Psa. cxxxii, 12. See also, 1 Sam. iii, 13; iv.

It would appear that the Jews understood this, for at the time when Jesus stood accused before Pilate they said, "let his blood be upon us and our children!" And when the daughters of Jerusalem followed Jesus, weeping, "he said, weep not for me, but for yourselves and your children!"

Notwithstanding the special care the Lord had for the children, and his oft repeated admonitions, and those of his prophets; yet we find that this very people permitted a tradition to get among them, and the fifth commandment that was specially designed for the children, was transgressed, and Jesus rebuked them by saying, "Ye hypocrites! Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition." "Full well ye reject the commandment of God that ye may keep your own tradition;" even the commandments of men! Matt. xv, 3-9; Mark vii, 7-13.

On the day of Pentecost, when the apostles testified concerning the gospel, the children again were remembered: "For," says Peter, "the promise is unto you, and your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call." Acts ii, 39. And the conditions of this promise is obedience.—"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right;" "obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." "Honor thy father and mother, (which is the first commandment with promise,) that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth."—New earth, in the kingdom: exceeding great and precious promises! "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged;" "but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Eph. vi, 1-4; Col. iii, 20, 21.

And in the last days perilous times shall come; and children shall be "disobedient to parents;" even when "the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient." 2 Tim. iii, 2; Isa. iii, 5.

The mariner's greatest danger, when "in perils on the sea," is when the rocks and shoals are slightly covered over with water; and when nearing the haven, at which time a diligent watchfulness is needful. O how unconscious we may be of the dangers of these "perilous times," unless we watch and pray, and look diligently into the word of God: for they approach us in such disguised forms, that we may become almost ensnared ere we are aware! Satan will try to deceive us, [Matt. xxiv, 24; Rev. xii, 12,] and make us insensible to our dangers, and even he will try to deceive the parents, and make them insensible to the dangers that surround their children. The Lord wants to save the children, but Satan would try to destroy these young and tender "branches," [Psa. cxxviii, 3,] and by so doing, he will hinder the growth of the older "branches," by bringing upon them perplexity and trouble. John xv, 4-7. Satan will try to deceive the parents, in time of disobedience, and they will be left to believe that they love their children, when at the same time they hate them. "He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Prov. xiii, 24. Satan will try to deceive them as to their duty, (for it "grieveth the Enemy" for them to do their duty,) until it is too late; then it will bring shame, heaviness, and sorrow to thine heart. And the children will have none of God's grace to assist them to resist the Devil, and to overcome their evil tempers and dispositions, [Eccl. xxx, 12,] therefore they will be the lawful prey of the Enemy and die. Prov. xxiii, 13. Satan, to accomplish his purpose, will use the instrumentality of "a full access to wicked companions," and he will try to make the parents insensible to their evil influences. O "beware of thine own children:" Let them not go in a way wherein they may fall! "lest thou gnasth thy teeth in the end!" O do be entreated to look at the "admonitions of the Lord," and from this raise a true standard that you may "love" your children, and not "hate" them by withholding chastisement in time of disobedience, even while there is hope. Prov. xix, 18. Watch carefully, and do your duty that you "may have joy of them in the end," and "have part of the inheritance among the brethren."

How important it is that the children of the "remnant," should comply with the conditions of this precious promise; by obeying their parents in the Lord in all things and willingly, not grievously: "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous:" For it is said by the prophet, "If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land." 1 John v, 3; Isa. i, 19.

I have often witnessed the murmur, and the unwillingness, and apparently "grievous" feelings, when the child has been requested by the parent to do an act of obedience. O how my heart has been pained; and how I have feared for that parent, and that child, when they have seemingly been insensible to their responsibilities.

I can say with Bro. Goodwin, "I feel an interest in the welfare of the children and am glad that they have a paper for themselves; but still for the children to be really benefited," certainly "the work must begin at home." Parents must realize the awful responsibility of "this important duty of governing their children, and subdue their wills and unholy tempers, and bring them where God can work for them." [See 'Review and Herald' Vol. III, No. 7.]

When the children of God murmur and disobey, he, in love, administers chastisement. "And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh, which corrected us; and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of Spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless, afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruits of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." "My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth, even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. See Prov. x, 17; xv, 10. "Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee." Heb. xii, 5-11; Prov. iii, 11, 12; Deut. viii, 5. "As chastened and not killed;" "But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world." 1 Tim. v, 24. "Surely it is meet to be said unto God, I have borne chastisement, I will not offend any more. Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth; therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty. Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy Law." "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten." 1 Cor. xi, 32; Job xxxiv, 31; v, 17; Isa. xxiv, 12; Rev. iii, 19; Isa. xxvi, 16. "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him." And, He is more willing to "give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him," than earthly parents are "to give good gifts unto their children." And even of Jesus our Saviour, our merciful and faithful High Priest, it is said, "the chastisement of our peace was upon him!" Ps. ciii, 13; Luke xi, 13; Isa. liii, 5.

Paul exhorted and charged every one, as a father doth his children, that they should walk worthy of God, in love, and be followers of him as dear children. "Be not children in understanding; howbeit in malice be ye children." "Blessed are the peace-makers: for they shall be called the children of God." From the above Scriptures, we may all be instructed. Matt. v, 9; Mark ix, 50.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." "He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die.—Thou shalt beat him with a rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest: yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right." Prov. xxii, 6; xiii, 24; xix, 18; xxiii, 13, 14; xxix, 15, 17; xxii, 15; xx, 11. "Hast thou children? instruct them, and bow down their neck from their youth. He that loveth his son causeth him oft to feel the rod, that he may have joy of him in the end. He that chastiseth his son shall have joy in him, and shall rejoice of him among his acquaintance. For the Lord hath given the father honor over the children, and hath confirmed the authority of the mother over the sons. Whoso honoreth his father maketh an atonement for his sins. He that teacheth his son grieveth the enemy: and before his friends he shall rejoice of him.—Indulge thy child, and he shall make thee afraid: play with him, and he will bring thee to heaviness.—Laugh not with him lest thou have sorrow with him, lest thou gnasth thy teeth in the end. Give him no liberty in his youth, and wink not at his follies. Bow down his neck while he is young, and beat him on the sides while he is a child, lest he wax stubborn, and be disobedient unto thee, and so bring sorrow to thine heart. Chastise thy son, and hold him to labor, lest his lewd behaviour be an offence unto thee." Eccl. vii, 23; xxx, 1-13; iii, 2, 3. A wise servant shall have rule over a son that causeth shame, and shall have part of the inheritance among the brethren. Prov. xvii, 2. See 1 Tim. iii, 4, 5.